Still Figuring Out The Budget

Posted on January 5, 2012 by

Busy, busy, busy, busy.

Minor car accident + increased school costs + PA Day childcare costs + sick child + car battery dead + physiotherapy = budget not balancing at all. Pure joy I tell you, pure joy ;) !

Posted in 2012 Goals, Budget | 10 Comments

Food Costs & Goals

Posted on January 3, 2012 by

Thank you for all the great suggestions on yesterday’s post, I’ll reply soon!

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about food costs, mostly because I’m trying to balance budgeting with making sure we eat healthy, local, fairtrade food as much as possible. I have never been inspired by bloggers who have drastically low food bills but shop at shops which are unethical, or have a diet which is sorely lacking in what our body needs. For my children, each day they enjoy 3 + fruits, 4 + veg, a variety of protein sources {fish, eggs, lentils, beans etc.}, dairy and plenty of water.  They have a glass of milk each day, (as well as cheese and/or yoghurt), but I limit their juice because when they have it they begin giving me more challenge about drinking water {prior to my adoption of them, they had never had a glass of water – one day I’ll tell you just how appalling their diet used to be!}.  Yesterday here is what they ate:

Breakfast: A slice of flax seed bread with organic peanut butter, a cut up apple, yoghurt, water
Lunch: Scrambled egg, 1/3rd an avocado, cherry tomatoes, carrot sticks, a banana, a cheesy baked potato, dried apricots, water
Dinner: Macaroni & Cheese, lima beans, cucumber slices, eggplant in plum sauce, cranberry oat biscuit, clementine, water, milk

When they first arrived my sole goal was to get them onto a healthy diet rich in fruits, vegetables and healthy proteins. As I’ve commented before, they changed before my eyes – colour entered their cheeks, they no longer had trouble going to the bathroom, they gained weight and their skin improved. My goal now is to continue feeding them a varied and healthy diet, while sticking to a $250 a month food budget {this includes pet supplies and cleaning products – mostly vinegar & baking soda!}. I plan to blog through it all and while I won’t do a daily food diary, I would like to do a monthly synopsis of the budget and admit how easy or challenging it was to stick to!

Are you trying to keep a tight rein on food costs? How do you balance that with making ethical choices?

Posted in 2012 Goals, Budget, Home Management, Parenting | 11 Comments

I Need Three Solutions

Posted on January 2, 2012 by

1. How do I make my 2012 budget balance? So far I’m somewhere between 300-500 short! Second income, or free childcare {aka stay at home parent} where are you? ;)

2. How do I stop my children from running in our home? They are terribly coordinated after years of no exercise, so they slip and trip and it really isn’t safe {I give them loads of exercise in other ways, but running at home isn’t my preferred option!}

3. How on earth do I reign in the sibling rivalry? They do so well if each other is hurt, scared etc. {so loving and kind!} but they are used to being one of 30+ children, followed by being in different homes with much much needier children than they are, so I think are just trying to “establish” their place and are loving all the extra attention {or so they keep telling me}. They also have not lived together since babyhood, so are in the early stages of developing their relationship.  But. But. But. The constant tattle tailing, the lack of desire to listen to each other, the tears that erupt afterwards drives me NUTS - though I try to always be patient, explain things to them, give them a vocabulary for their feelings etc. 

I know there must be much wiser people than I am when it comes to these things. Thoughts? Solutions? Ideas to help keep me sane?

Posted in 2012 Goals, Budget, Ma Famille, My Chlidren, Parenting | 21 Comments

Goals For 2012!

Posted on January 1, 2012 by

I’ve written my thoughts about 2011, sharing them helped me see that becoming a mother twice, moving and changing jobs pretty much took all my physical and emotional energy. As a result I’m in horrific physical shape & low in motivation. There is nothing like a New Year and a new-found committment to living as long and healthy as possible {my daughter was crying tonight, saying “Mummy never die, I will always need you”} to get one thinking about goals.  The truth is, the last 4 months has been totally totally devoted to parenting, apart from being at school my children have not been without me and while that is how it needs to be, I do need to find a way to add in some physical exercise among other things to help de-stress. Added to that I have financial goals that need to be addressed and some life and parenting goals to boot. So here we are, 2012 has been welcomed in and my goals for the year are ready to be unleashed!

Financial

  • Save $250 a month into long term savings for retirement {I have not contributed to my retirement savings in, probably 3 years now, and my work contributes nothing, so need to get on it!}
  • Save $250 a month into a savings account
  • Do a weekly blog post accounting for everything I’ve spent each week
  • Eat out no more than 2x a month {as a busy working mum it can be very tempting to get a quick pizza which I always serve with veggies & nuts on the side to make it healthier, but it is an expense we don’t need}
  • Get a detailed budget written and stick to it

Children

  • Get both up to only one year behind grade level in math {this will be a lot of work, one is currently 2 years behind, the other 3 years behind}
  • Teach both to tell time
  • Teach my son to read
  • Get my daughter to one year behind grade level instead of two
  • Have our first family vacation together (even just 3 nights at Niagara Falls)
  • Begin giving both violin lessons
  • Get a family portrait taken
  • Find a volunteer role as a family
  • Get both Christened
  • Ask one more person to be a Godparent {this person may say no, so asking will take some gumption!}
  • Teach both to identify 30 countries, all oceans and all continents on a map
  • Get both into a sports program
  • Teach both about money {how to identify a penny, nickel, dime, quarter etc and their worth}
  • Finalize our adoption of each other :)

Self

  • Kick the Diet Coke habit {it came back during the early adjustment to motherhood!}
  • Exercise 3x a week minimum
  • Lose the weight I gained this year!
  • Be consistent with bed time (10:30) – especially weeknights
  • Stick to a daily and weekly cleaning schedule
  • Get a community garden plot to enjoy with the children & reduce our grocery bill!
  • No going online from the time we arrive home from school until after the children are bed & dishes/clean up is done!
  • Blog a minimum of 3x a week since it serves as such a source of encouragement!
  • Pick and can/freeze over the summer months – strawberries, blueberries, apples, peaches, tomatoes
  • Learn a new craft

Big Goal

  • Start another adoption for a child with special needs from either Ch*ina or Eth*iopia – just to be clear, this does not mean anyone will join our family in 2012 (in all reality it would be 2013, or 2014 – we are certainly not ready yet and I would delay a referral until I knew we were) - but I want to start while I meet the program requirements as things are quite turbulent in the international adoption world!}

And there you have it, the goals for 2012!  I can honestly say it feels so good to have them written down and helps me see just how much we will be able to accomplish as a family & all that we have to look forward to :)

What are your 2012 goals?

Posted in 2012 Goals, Adoption | 12 Comments

Why I’m Happy It Is A New Year

Posted on January 1, 2012 by

There are many many many many things that made 2011 absolutely fabulous…

Seeing a photo of my children for the first time

Meeting my daughter for the first time

Hearing my daughter tell me I was her forever Mummy

Seeing my children reunited for a 2 hour visit and knowing in the depths of my soul I would never let them be apart again

Squealing as I heard the words it was definitely going ahead

Spending a weekend with my daughter, being allowed a short visit with her brother, crying as he left, praying it would all work out

Getting permission to have both children for a weekend

Traveling home with my daughter in August

Spending our first month together, getting to know each other

My son arriving in September

Watching my children hold hands whatever chance they got in those early days

Hearing my son say words for the first time, when everyone said he would never be able to say them (he now rocks the “sh” and “sk” sounds!)

Seeing the worrying behaviours in my daughter dissipate when surrounded by love, understanding, boundaries and healthy relationships

Hearing my son learn his last name and how old he is, things no one taught him because they didn’t think he was capable of learning!

Jumping with joy when both children reached the 5% on the growth charts {it took a lot of work!}

Hearing my daughter speak in more complicated sentences, a real challenge if you have a language processing special need. My how her ability to articulate her thoughts has come along!

Seeing my children show great signs of attachment towards me {though I firmly believe the attachment experts who say it will take 1-2 years for them to fully trust this is forever}

Seeing my children form our village, I’m so glad they are insightful enough to know who they want in it and I am beyond pleased and thankful that those people have said yes.

Getting reminders of how far my children have come {every time we go to someone’s house I’m amazed at just how well they are progressing, though still needing a lot of direction – lets just say, attending a small gathering last night was exhausting!}

A brand new job in 2011 which I looooooooooooove

Meeting some of the most amazing people in 2011, courtesy of the new job, and realizing despite on the surface a new job seeming like a bad idea {less pay, longer commute} He knew just what He was doing considering what was about to happen {motherhood to two!}

But 2011 was also a year…

I said good-bye

Other people made decisions for my children which were NOT in their best interest (and we are left dealing with the after effects)

People were allowed to have a presence in my children’s lives even though it is unhealthy

Adoption costs spiralled out of control….!

My children had to live the first 8 and 9 months of the year without a forever family and with decisions being made for them which were unforgiveable.

In 2012, God willing, our adoption of each other (as I like to refer to it) will be complete. I’m hoping for an early court date without complication (realistically it will probably happen in May or June) . In 2012 there will be no months my children will be waiting, hoping, praying for a family and not a single night that they are missing each other and hoping the other is OK.

Last night the Godparents did a NY dessert which included 12 grapes on a stick, one to represent each month in 2012. As I sat there, I quietly wiped away the tears knowing each month in 2012 we will be together, as a family.

Welcome, welcome, welcome 2012!

Posted in Ma Famille, Motherhood, My Chlidren, New Beginnings, Oh so Blessed | 8 Comments

Simplicity Lesson – Ask And Ye Shall Receive

Posted on December 30, 2011 by

A few weeks ago I was in the midst of a big fret. I was worried about my children not having family in their lives, not feeling loved by enough people and I was worried about emergencies – who would we call, how would we get help? You can plan all these things prior to motherhood, but until you are a mother, in particular of “older” adopted children, it is hard to really piece it together, especially as no matter who you are comfortable with, it will largely depend on who your children’s take to and feel at ease with.

I was in the midst of my big fret, crying one rainy night driving home from work & school and a voice whispered “just pray”. I said one quick prayer asking for a village to come together, my close friends to accept sacred roles as Godparents and a friend who my children have taken to, to accept being a bit of an honorary auntie.  I asked for people to care about us and identify us as their family, like we do them {it’s not a nice feeling to think you care/need people more than they do you!}

Less than a month later, I can honestly say I see our small and mighty village. There are my close friends Fitzy, her husband Mr. C and their baby (this very week Mr. C in conversation with his partner said we are part of their family as he hung my children’s picture on their fridge) who we enjoyed a pre-Christmas gathering with, a Christmas dinner on Boxing Day together and Fitzy is becoming baby-sitter extraordinaire one day next week. There is a friend from University who took my children out to help them make Christmas gifts for me, invited us for Christmas with her extended family, and is baby-sitting one evening next month so I can attend a work event! There are two friends from work, one of whom is a great mummy friend, is always always reminding me to call her if we are stuck for anything at all (and means it – she has the experience of being in Canada without family, having come with her husband and his father and wanting to desperately ensure we are not alone) and the other is a person my kid’s think hung the moon. Added to that, there are the internet aunties who care about us deeply, many of whom played a role in the adoption coming to fruition.

I said one prayer and something small yet profound happened.

We are not joined by blood
We are not joined by marriage
We are not joined by adoption decree
But we are joined in the ways that really matter, love.

As my daughter said the other day when I was talking to her about families coming in all different shapes and sizes, “Mummy, our family is just great, we don’t all live with each other and we sure do look different, but we really do love each other, don’t we?” That we do my darling, that we do.

Yet again, through my children, I learn a valuable lesson in simplicity – sometimes all you have to do is ask!

Posted in Adoption, Anxiety, Faith, Family Expansion, Family Life, Journeying, Lessons Learned, Love, Ma Famille, My Chlidren, My Daughter, New Beginnings, Oh so Blessed, People In My Life | 9 Comments

Things I’m Loving Right Now

Posted on December 29, 2011 by

:: Memories of reuniting my children after years apart {in our worst sibling rivalry moments, I hang on to memories of their reunion this summer lol}.

:: Time off work, with my whole department gone, so no real pressure to work {self-induced pressure I might add}, though I do a sneaky check in each day so that things are dealt with before I go back. But there is something special about time off when everyone else is off, it is like an imposed rest. And this Mama certainly needs it!

:: The knowledge I spent only $15 on Christmas gifts for my children {honestly!}

:: Seeing the gifts provided by others {most of whom were not in my life until 8 months ago} for my children.  Someone I don’t know even decided to be our Secret Santa. We were very blessed this year by people who heard our story and were moved by it. 

:: No pressure from school each day at pick up and no homework needing completing!

:: Knowing a massive thing I’ve been working on will be done by Friday night and I then have 4 full days off with my children no stress/distractions!

:: Hope I can establish a budget for 2012 that actually balances {will put it on the blog for accountability!}

:: Teaching my daughter to knit, with great plans to begin teaching my son this weekend!

:: My UCB Word of The Day. A lovely reminder of the beauty of scripture, just when you need it!

:: Seeing a village emerge! And yes, if any of our blog friends would like to be an auntie from afar, you would be ever so appreciated!  

What are you loving right now?

Posted in About Me, Oh so Blessed, Parenting, People In My Life, The Sweet Nectar Of Life, Things I Love | 24 Comments