March, I am so glad you are here. It hasn’t been anywhere near as treacherous a winter as last, but I am ready for spring. Spring and Autumn for me is where it is at. Mild weather, long walks, no extreme body reactions to the outdoors, just relaxed, wonderful and perfectly marvelous in every way!  And in March we have plans, oh yes. A Birthday to celebrate, St. Patrick’s Day funky glasses to wear, swimming lessons to start and a fun meet up with friends to be enjoyed. Yes, March, we have some lovely plans for YOU!

And since I’m finally getting my act together as we celebrate six months together, I really really need to get back to some SMART goals for each month. So for March, as we move from the foundation building we’ve been doing for the last 6 months to something more, we’re ready to mix up a few things and do a bit more! Goals for March…

Mothering
- Sign up both children for swimming lessons
- Sign up both for a sports program for spring/summer
- Take a long walk each week together
- Read a chapter book together
- Swim once a week together
- Meet up with friends

Myself
- Blog at least 3x a week
- Dentist
- Keep to my cleaning schedule (isn’t life so much easier with an organized home?!)
- Attend my book group – children welcome
- Finish the cowl I’m making
- Begin a volunteer role for ChinaKidz (now Butterfly Children’s Hospice)

Budgeting/Finance
- Attempt a budget, again!
- Stick to $250 groceries
- Online banking & bills
- Taxes
- Pay vet bill

Spiritual
- Read the book of Matthew
- Attend Church 3 x (1/3)
- Listen to two online sermons (1/2)

Friendships/Relationships
- Don’t forget 2 friend’s Birthdays
- Write letter to friend R
- Write email to Godmother
- Write letter & card to aunt
- Write email to friend in Australia

• Read my Bible every day - even if all I can manage is a passage or two! I feel as a mother, I need this quiet “spiritual milk” more than ever before!
• Read out loud from a Chapter book to my children each day and take the time to talk through the plot with them to increase their reading comprehension. Because of the chronic neglect they both suffered in their previous families, my daughter’s language processing delay and my son’s speech delay, it can be a challenge for them to articulate their thoughts and it makes people think they understand less than they really do; a little daily practice will help give them the skills and confidence they need!
• Get the dishes done every single night before I go to bed! There is something about dirty dishes on the counter top, or in the sink, that sets a negative tone and makes me neglect other areas in my home, too!
• Write and stick to a weekly menu plan!
• Spend no more than $75 a week on groceries! I really wish it didn’t have to be so high, but both my children were severely underweight at adoption and so I happily spend on foods which are helping them gain weight and grow! Their last Dr’s appt, their Dr took one look at them and said they looked like different children – their faces had filled out, their skin was better, their hair was growing etc. And the great news is, they are now in the 5th percentile on the height/weight charts! It took a LOT of work to get them there, but so worth it. Yes, we can ignore the fact that 95% of children their age are bigger than they are !
• Drink 4 glasses of water per day – this hasn’t happened in three months. Bad me!
• Take my children for a long trail walk each weekend.
• Unplug every single Sunday. I’ve always taken a day to unplug but now that I have children, I really want it to be a day at the weekend. I feel like Sundays are so important, both in terms of a sabbath and in order to set the tone for the week and get everything ready for 5 very very full days. Sundays it is!
• Finish reading Boundaries: When To Say Yes and How To Say No.  Motherhood humbles you and makes you see all the areas you struggle in that you don’t want to pass onto your children. There have been eight times in the last three months, where I should have stood up and said something  for the best outcome for my family, instead I was either silent or I didn’t define my/our boundaries. I’m hoping this book helps!
• Go to bed every single night by 10pm & have my children in bed with lights out by 7:45 pm. I will admit right now my sleep is all over the place, probably 2 nights a week I fall asleep immediately after my children do, another two nights a week I’m up until the wee hours of the morning and the rest somewhere in between.  My big goal right now is to take all the learning about my children’s needs over the last three months and establish both a rhythm for them and a rhythm for me that helps me best meet their needs. And the reality is, I need enough sleep in order to be the best parent I can be!

Those are my 10 goals for the month!

In other news, we are doing great. We have a big month this month (more on that later!) but our days are filled with sunshine and laughter. My children are simply fabulous!

What are your goals for December?

Recently I was asked to write an essay about my long-term goals, normally this wouldn’t be a problem. You see, I used to be all about goals, short-term and long-term goals, I’ve held onto 5 year plans for as long as I can remember and I’ve loved them, until recently.

Lately, I’ve kind of realized that in some odd sort of way, if you aren’t careful goals can limit you, a bit like keeping a dog on a leash or enjoying a boat ride on such a strict course/schedule it doesn’t allow you to wander a few yards out to stop to see the dolphins. Goals can be good, I am really not saying I think all goals are bad, but the more I thought about what my goals were, the more I realized gone are the specific things or the focus on outcomes I so desperately held onto, instead I’m growing in appreciation for the process and callings I believe so fully in; the beautiful, exhausting, sometimes crippling process which often brings you to a place you’d never imagine, not out of some noble personal deed but because you simply are called.

So what do I really want for my life now? Well instead of lists of specific outcomes what I most want is to follow God, to seize every opportunity I have to help, to not get caught up in what *I* want or the limited vision *I* have and instead see the incredible doors God opens, which if I stopped focusing on my own ideas, I’d be better able to enter.  I want to be the yes person, I want to be the person who welcomes each new & beautiful journey, however hard. I don’t ever want to answer no simply because it wasn’t in the narrow little world of my imagination. I may have the goal to save an emergency fund and of course that is a prudent and wise choice, but I want to make sure if a brother is in need and I can help by giving $100+,  my thought isn’t on my own goals and instead on the opportunity I have to help.

I don’t see goals as a bad thing, but I’m being cautious that goals don’t become the out I need in order to do less, but instead the freedom I have to do more.

Everywhere I went people thanked me, were intrigued as to why I was there, could not fathom why someone would volunteer to do this or want to care for children. Finding the answers was sometimes tough, balancing a value for life with respect for culture is a delicate act, one I hope I got right.

And I’ve left with some souvenirs, since there was no budget for souvenirs - I mean which would you choose: books, clothes, dressings and medication for kids with nothing or some stuff for yourself?! Easy answer…but I’ve left with a leg which isn’t cooperating, a blood blister in my mouth, a recently emerging cold and a soul overflowing with the most amazing memories, the most wonderful joy, the most beautiful peace.  Who needs jewelry or traditional clothing when you’ve got your soul filled to the brim!

And I come away knowing just what a difference hope makes. Hope is found in the power of a $4 bottle of medication, a new dressing which keeps you clean, a $150 surgery which gives sight back, a child by some miracle being adopted, someone holding your hand as you die, a child who has faced such rejection, yet still puts their hands up to you to be held, and I most definitely found it when a 10-year-old learns to sit for the first time.. . Hope is always there somewhere, even if you have to look further than your eyes can see, even if it comes only when your eyes can no longer cry or produce tears.  Yes, hope reigns…always!

And I’ve come away not with a sense of duty, but with a soul filled with love. A soul which knows I can do so much more, not out of some savior complex or belief I can single-handedly tackle the world’s problems, but because I know now what the power of love can do. It makes people find $50,000 to adopt, it allows people to get passed their own fears and care more about the sick and dying than their own comfort level, because like hope, love never fails.

“And now these three things remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love”.  1 Corinthians 13:13

And somehow this technophob with very limited means, striving after a simple life, is about to do something BIG. I don’t know how, when you add it all up, it seems positively impossible, but I know babies can beat all odds and survive, people can and do achieve the impossible. And really is anything ever impossible? And so now, I have the “impossible” challenge lying ahead of me over the next 3 months. But I don’t believe in impossible, do I?

Thank you for all the wonderful emails while I was away and the occasional comment that got through! Comments are now restored :0) And my new post is up at the co-op!

I just returned from a long walk, through a field passed a 200 year old Hospital, which is stunning and beautiful; perhaps even more so as it’s gardens are filled to the brim with daffodils. It is cold, rainy and dark, for many this would be horrible weather, for me it never prevents a good walk and is often the time I do my best reflections.  My High School English teacher always told me when it rains in a novel, it is often symbolism of an epiphanal moment, or realization. Today was certainly that.

Over the last two years, I’ve heard a lot of “I/you can’t”. I’ve heard it from friends, family, Pastors, Priests, acquaintances, strangers and pretty much almost everyone in my life. I’m amazed that so many people feel powerless, feel unable to do that which their heart desires and feel the need to discourage others as well. I’m amazed that people feel so weak and unable to make choices. I’m not sure if this is somewhat cultural, I think perhaps part of it is, but I also recognize this is probably, sadly, a human condition and one I know I’ve been guilty of in the past.

And what is it people think they can’t do? Well the answers are as varied as people (and by no means should everyone feel they are called to do all these things and yes rarely, but sometimes, there are barriers we can’t remove) but my friend’s and family can’t list include: owning a dog, volunteering, fostering, adoption, eating healthy, giving to charity, moving, changing jobs, re-training, exercising, cooking, finding something to be thankful for, reading the newspaper, reading a book, going to the countryside, exploring a new city, caring for a loved one who is sick, working part-time, getting in control of one’s finances and the list goes on. A friend of mine recently said through tears to me that she wants to read a paper, but she can’t because she simply isn’t educated enough.

I believe when we say we can’t do something we disable ourselves. We allow fear of failure to ruin our choices, we actually stop making any choices at all and instead let life pass us by. I am not a natural risk taker, I am not like people who climb mountains or deep-sea dive.  I do have fears, a lot of them. One month ago I attended an interview and didn’t get it, almost all my friends and family told me to head home, to not attend the interview for the second position because I won’t get that post either. Well, I did. After that many family members told me I should decline the position as I would never find somewhere to live. Well, I did. Close friends and family told me to get the cat put down when she was attacked, they felt I couldn’t spend two weeks caring for her 24/7. Well, I did and as of today all her stitches were taken out and she is eating, on her own again. She did it, in her time, but she refused to give up.

I do not believe we can do everything we desire in the timing we want and I do know there are significant barriers at times to do the things we feel called to do. I know, first-hand, these things are not always easy, if they were I’d currently have four chickens, 4-5 rescue dogs & cats, a small-holding and a large family! Currently that is not realistic, but it doesn’t mean it will always be that way, it doesn’t mean I can’t do it, it just means right now is not that season but instead a season of preparing for that life and for what lies ahead.  Friends tell me they “can’t” own a dog because they’ll always have to work full-time because they need money. They fail to see how we choose to live today shapes our future.  If you really and truly want a dog and want to work part-time, then maybe spending £200 on a cleaning lady each month, £200 a month on clothes and £100 at the beauty salon each month is what is preventing you from having the life which you desire. Maybe *owning* your choice instead of saying you can’t, would get you further. And yes I’m well aware that most of us work full time due to necessities not luxuries!

I believe the Lord put very clear desires into my heart, they are not desires to be wealthy, make money on the stock market or retire at 40 or 50,  they are not desires to own a big home or a luxury vehicle. My desires are to care for orphans, to work hard and be a good steward of resources. My desires are to give to others, to care about people and animals, to be an honorable employee with a cheerful heart and soul both professionally and personally. My desires are to live my faith, fully and firmly even when it is the exception to the norm. My desires include motherhood, caring for animals and being content with whatever season I’m in. My desires are to know there are very few things you can’t do and many things you can do! And when I need reminding of just how much we can accomplish by making purposeful choices I repeat this verse:

I can do anything through Him who gives me strength Philippians 4:13

And I’m pretty sure you can to! And on that note I want to thank all my blog friends and readers for being a constant source of encouragement, for telling me I can, celebrating my moments of joy and providing support during the downtimes. You are, in truth, incredible, each and every one of you! Thank you!

And what is it that you “can” do?

Tuesday night my March accomplishments were posted, it made me think about what my goals for April are! This will be a month of a very large move and adjustment to a new job, so I’m going to try to be very realistic! I’m very very excited about what this month holds and hopefully my goals reflect what’s ahead!

• Attend a donkey caring course – sooo excited about this!!
• Implement and succeed at plan sparkle!
• Pack up all my books, kitchen ware, DVD’s and anything else & place in a friend’s loft!
• House sitting for a friend
• Surprise clean my friend’s house and do all her laundry (sheets, towels etc)
• Move
• Read Numbers, Deuteronomy and Acts
• Read Animal Vegetable Miracle
• Read Middlemarch
• Set up a new budget (more on this later this week!)
• Swim 20x
• Eye Dr (to see if my eyes are the source of my headache)
• Lose 1 stone (14 pounds)
• No chocolate
• Visit one attraction in my new area
• Say goodbye to the wild ponies here (you know, because they’ll understand what I’m saying!)
• Take my mum out for a day
• Begin searching for a second job (part of a financial plan I’ll be sharing)
• Opt out of the health record scheme
• Confirm volunteering
• Contact animal shelter to apply as a  volunteer  – cleaning cages, walking dogs etc at the weekends in my new area!
• A blog giveaway to celebrate my 2nd anniversary blogging!

What are your plans for April?

I posted some goals for the month and while many of them were more difficult to accomplish because of this difficult season, I thought I’d revisit them to see how well I did!

• Attending a minimum of two interviews – DONE!
• Spending a day on a course learning to care for donkeys – Course was postponed until April (next week!)
• Spending a day learning lambing skills – Unable to attend due to lack of car!
• Volunteering to sell daffodils for Marie Curie. – DONE!
• Running a mile for Sport Relief – Unable to attend due to lack of car!
• Reading and attending my book group! Our book this month is Winter In Madrid! – DONE!
• Swimming 25 x 10/25 – Lack of car was a major barrier!
• Going to the gym 15 x – Lack of car made it impossible!
• 20 no spending days! 25/20 – DONE! Lack of car helped!!!!
• 10 no driving days! 20/10 DONE! Again, due to lack of car it was easy!
• Packing up and taking boxes to a friend’s loft  – Nope!
• Entering a short story competition – Nope!
• Applying for 10 more jobs, if needed – Not needed
• Finishing Animal Vegetable Miracle – Almost!
• Reading Two Caravans – Almost – I read a few other books instead!
• Reading Leviticus, Luke and John – Read Leviticus and Luke, working through John should be finished by the end of today!!
• House sitting for a friend – DONE!
• Making two cushion covers, four wash cloths and an apron – NONE!
• While it wasn’t a goal, I also read: The Diary of Anne Frank and Do Hard Things and am working through Middlemarch!

Part of me is a tad disappointed I didn’t accomplish more of my March goals, but in truth, considering how many very difficult days there were, I’m kind of pleased I just made it through the month!

What did you accomplish in March?

I eluded in my last post, that I had a simple plan for April which I hope others will join! I have tried a plan Sparkle before, with some success so I’ve decided to dedicate April as the month to really implement the plan! I think April is the perfect month to make small healthy changes to help get your body ready for the summer! The changes/goals I am going to focus on are:

• Drink a minimum of 6 glasses of water a day
• Walk outside for a minimum of 45 minutes a day
• Keep a food diary
• Have a minimum of 10 dairy free days
• Have no more than 1 wheat product a day
• Swim a minimum of four times a week (trying to be realistic due to the move!)
• No chocolate (I have been enjoying far too much chocolate lately!)
• Remember to take my make-up off every night (I’ve forgotten lately!)

Those are my simple goals for April’s month to shine! I’d love if any of my blog readers would join in as a way to motivate and encourage each other! Remember these are my goals and are slightly ambitious for people just beginning on this journey; one small change can make a huge difference. Your one small change may just be to drink X amount of water a day, or to hit the gym twice a week, simply think about what is right for you!

I have to say, I’m quite excited about this plan!

Is anyone going to join me?

Here are the questions I asked myself:

What life do I feel called do? What is my dream? What is the life I want to lead? Where is God leading me?

How do I see my life (if I follow my calling) in 5 or 10 years?

What changes do I need to make in order to achieve what I feel called to?

What is the main thing that will help me achieve these?

How am I going to achieve these steps and changes in my life?

In order to make these changes, what are my short term and long term SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, time-sensitive) goals?

The whole process took about 40 minutes, it involved adding new ideas and taking some of the less important things off my list. I think for me, I know where I feel called, but struggle with what practical steps to take now in order to get there. But 40 minutes later I feel a lot more clarity and feel I’m on the right track and accept fully I can do what I’m called to do :)

How do you plan what steps to take towards achieving your dreams?

He’s She’s my buddy, that cow there and I’m almost convinced she would let me stop and hug her, but I haven’t yet tried.  As of late, cows, chickens, goats and the like, have been on my mind. Long time readers may remember in the past I was a vegetarian and was actually a vegan for two years as a University student, but this time last year I went back to eating meat for a variety of reasons. But lately, there’s been a quiet knocking on my conscience, a lack of peace which can only mean change is around the corner. I think the major catalyst was one day last week when I was looking at the website of where I will get my pet hens from, less than an hour or so later I was walking through the shopping aisle and saw freshly cooked chickens for £3.90. I stood there, for more than a moment or two wondering how a chicken’s life can be worth so little, thinking about all the work that went into keeping that chicken alive and it boiling (pardon the pun!) down to less than £4…something just didn’t seem right.

I was then a part of a discussion about the future, things like finances and number of children and the like. And I brought up my hope to raise my children with an understanding of where meat comes from, an appreciation that it is something that should be valued because it comes from life, a desire to choose quality over quantity. The discussion then went onto dairy and incorporating goats milk and rice milk, focusing on whole foods, organic where possible, taking no food for granted and not thinking things should come cheap and easy, because like everything in life what is cheap and easy comes at a cost…

And I suddenly wondered if I was lying to myself, why was it such an important element of the future and yet not now.  Why was it so important my children have food without hormones in it, and not their parent(s)? Yes I do try to purchase organic food, but I do not do as much as I should.  I became uneasy with what I stood for, or didn’t more importantly. So I decided I would rely on one of the foolproof exercises for finding peace and spent 10 minutes thinking about where I want to be in five years and made a mental list, which will no doubt make its way into my inspiration book. But, as I know all too well, we don’t get to where we want to be by being passive, it requires action, small changes and baby steps that are going towards the “right” direction.

And so my decision? To become a flexitarian. There are no hard and fast rules to this choice, all I have is a vision. My vision is to drastically reduce my meat consumption and to only eat meat that requires sacrifice – financial and practical. I’ll be buying meat from the butcher, where the animals are treated in the right conditions, allowed to enjoy life, are local and organic; where the meat is free from hormones and toxins; I will be taking the same approach to all animal products – eggs, yogurt and cheese etc. I’m not sure how often I’ll eat meat, I’m hoping not to have it more than once a week, but like I said, no hard and fast rules.  As for dairy, I’m hoping to have a dairy free day at least once a week and apart from that focus on free-range and organic.

Life is a journey, I’m not sure how long I’ll be a flexitarian, but for right now it is what gives me peace and promise.

My name is Frugal Trenches and I’m a Flexitarian, how about you?

To learn more about ethical animal consumption visit http://www.chickenout.tv/ and consider seeing the film Food Inc!