What motherhood and life circumstances has taught me recently, is that there is a very different feeling and experience, even if you live on the same budget, depending on whether in the end that is all you have, vs. you are simply choosing to live below your means. For example, paying $60 a week for groceries feels much more stressful when there is no more than $60 to be found, compared to having several hundred left to spend on groceries, but you choose to only spend $60. Today as I walked around the grocery store with my children in  tow, I reflected on this as I counted up the pennies and made my purchases balance. It never felt this stressful when I was simply playing more of a grocery game (frugal by choice and proud of it!).  And the truth is, it certainly doesn’t feel like a game now, I’m not sure what it feels like, but it is stressful. Each time school sends home another letter requesting supplies/a certain coloured shirt for a play/an activity fee etc., another growth spurt happens, or new meds are prescribed, it is no longer about reducing the amount going into savings, it is something all together more challenging – what do we cut now?

I am not poor. We have a lovely roof over our heads, good food in the fridge, books and games and hobbies and joy. But I am also gaining some very good perspective – each car ride now is evaluated for its essentialness, which is humbling, but perfectly fine (having worked in countries where people have to walk 5 miles to get to school, perspective is never far off!). However tough this season of needs is, and it is tough, I am learning more and more each day about the beauty in simplicity, the choices we can still make and the importance of, when possible, saving and building a safety net. I’m thankful that while it feels so different to my previous lifestyle of frugal by choice, I learned some very important lessons during that season that I can apply now.  And I’m thankful I mostly remember that one just needs to sit tight to ride out the storm. But in the meantime, a moratorium on bills please !

Minor car accident + increased school costs + PA Day childcare costs + sick child + car battery dead + physiotherapy = budget not balancing at all. Pure joy I tell you, pure joy !

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about food costs, mostly because I’m trying to balance budgeting with making sure we eat healthy, local, fairtrade food as much as possible. I have never been inspired by bloggers who have drastically low food bills but shop at shops which are unethical, or have a diet which is sorely lacking in what our body needs. For my children, each day they enjoy 3 + fruits, 4 + veg, a variety of protein sources {fish, eggs, lentils, beans etc.}, dairy and plenty of water.  They have a glass of milk each day, (as well as cheese and/or yoghurt), but I limit their juice because when they have it they begin giving me more challenge about drinking water {prior to my adoption of them, they had never had a glass of water – one day I’ll tell you just how appalling their diet used to be!}.  Yesterday here is what they ate:

Breakfast: A slice of flax seed bread with organic peanut butter, a cut up apple, yoghurt, water
Lunch: Scrambled egg, 1/3rd an avocado, cherry tomatoes, carrot sticks, a banana, a cheesy baked potato, dried apricots, water
Dinner: Macaroni & Cheese, lima beans, cucumber slices, eggplant in plum sauce, cranberry oat biscuit, clementine, water, milk

When they first arrived my sole goal was to get them onto a healthy diet rich in fruits, vegetables and healthy proteins. As I’ve commented before, they changed before my eyes – colour entered their cheeks, they no longer had trouble going to the bathroom, they gained weight and their skin improved. My goal now is to continue feeding them a varied and healthy diet, while sticking to a $250 a month food budget {this includes pet supplies and cleaning products – mostly vinegar & baking soda!}. I plan to blog through it all and while I won’t do a daily food diary, I would like to do a monthly synopsis of the budget and admit how easy or challenging it was to stick to!

Are you trying to keep a tight rein on food costs? How do you balance that with making ethical choices?

2. How do I stop my children from running in our home? They are terribly coordinated after years of no exercise, so they slip and trip and it really isn’t safe {I give them loads of exercise in other ways, but running at home isn’t my preferred option!}

3. How on earth do I reign in the sibling rivalry? They do so well if each other is hurt, scared etc. {so loving and kind!} but they are used to being one of 30+ children, followed by being in different homes with much much needier children than they are, so I think are just trying to “establish” their place and are loving all the extra attention {or so they keep telling me}. They also have not lived together since babyhood, so are in the early stages of developing their relationship.  But. But. But. The constant tattle tailing, the lack of desire to listen to each other, the tears that erupt afterwards drives me NUTS - though I try to always be patient, explain things to them, give them a vocabulary for their feelings etc. 

I know there must be much wiser people than I am when it comes to these things. Thoughts? Solutions? Ideas to help keep me sane?

My children’s school charges for an enriched (non-optional) gym program and any extras, I suppose like many schools do. So far the extras offered: skiing, skating, gymnastics, dance and a ball based program, have come to a total cost of approximately $750 (approx 450 pounds) per child. Needless to say, my little ones haven’t participated in all those activities (they have done dance and are signed up for the ball skill program in January), though for almost all, they were the only children in the class not to do so. In truth, I would have signed them up for none and only relented with two options so there was something they were involved in with their class. You see, they are already in a much more appropriate dance program {is it just me who would rather her child dance to an Irish gig than Beyonce’s All The Single Ladies with some questionable moves I don’t think children that age should know?!} and I plan to do a family ball based program with them {a far more affordable one} through our local recreation centre. Honestly, I’d rather be there to watch and cheer them on, despite school trying to sell the programming to me by saying “but parents love it, it means they don’t have to find the time to do activities with their children at the weekends”. Oh no, dear School, that will never “sell” me. Added to this, one of my children has a physical special need which means certain movement must be restricted and I’m genuinely not convinced is gently being reminded {the pain only comes after, so it doesn’t stop actions in time}.

The assumptions don’t end there, there was a weekend camping trip, 55 hours at a cost of $500 for two (why on earth 5-8 years olds need 2.5 days away from their family I will never understand!) which I stood my ground on and explained there was no way, with all the transitions and families my children have had, that in these early days it is appropriate for my children to be away {and I even checked in with our adoption social worker who heartedly agreed and gave me the evidence to back up my argument,  attachment experts say children who are adopted should not be away for even one night for a minimum of a year}. I explained and was certainly made to feel like a naughty child. I held my ground despite hearing that “I was holding back on giving them essential life skills that will only be taught on this overnight trip with school”. I held my laughter as I wanted to explain “essential life skills” are that Mama loves you and is here for you for always and ever, and that this home is for FOREVER, not another one of the 8 {for my daughter} and 14 {for my son}…

Then there are the requests: by Friday your child must have a red hat, brown sunglasses, black dress pants, a grey shirt, $20 to donate to a present swap, a brand new notebook, a collection of french books yada yada.

All this comes to a grand assumption that this Mama has a spare $2140 lyng around over the last three months. I most certainly do not and even if I did, I can honestly say, I don’t think any of what they “sell” is in my particular children’s best interest.

Here’s the truth, I don’t like the assumption that everyone has money for the extras, not because we personally don’t, but because I think having a lot of extras lying around means that there was a cost somewhere else. How many people will never adopt a child because they think they can’t afford it because their life is so filled with luxury extras? How many children are left 11 hours a day at school each day, while their parents work corporate jobs to pay for extras they will never enjoy with their children because they don’t have time? How many schools/administrators/parents mix up needs and wants and don’t understand the skills we can get simply by playing a game together, or going on a nature walk, or just singing songs. I think, yet again, money makes what could be so simple, become something far more complicated than needed. And for as long as I possibly can, I will shield my children in the best way I know: simplicity, communication about our choices and love, in abundance.

Photo credit

Honestly, I feel like it gets easier each day. After paying my bills, I’m living on £25 a week ($38 US) for food, gifts, clothing, make-up, cards and well anything! The first few days I had so many little temptations run through my head – thoughts like “oooh that looks like a nice shop” or seeing signs to a more luxurious gym/fitness centre and wanting to join that instead. But slowly I came up with a phase that works for me, in the early days I said it many times each day, now probably once a day – “do I want that chocolate bar now or do I want to x, y, z later”; the answer is clear!

My budget needs some re-arranging as my rent went up from £225 to £250 an hour after I moved in, that same day I informed my car insurance company about the move and my premiums went up by £9 a month – let’s just say it wasn’t the greatest day, but like most budgets there’s always some wiggle room to cut back!

Have you ever stuck to a budget? What helped you?

Photo credit (sadly mine came out blurry!)

Depending on the season of life you’re in, you need to approach most things with a serving of flexibility! Today brought another migraine (in truth it never really left) and so I decided I needed to add some extra caffeine into the mix – resulting in a grand total of £4.20 in things I wouldn’t normally purchase! On top of that I purchased an ice-cube tray so I can make ice packs and even with more than £5 in non-essentials, I still came in on budget!

Here’s what I bought:

• Mince meat (organic)
• Broccoli (organic)
• Sweet potatoes (organic)
• Red onion
• Grapes
• Organic courgette (aka zucchini)
• Rocket
• Yoghurt
• Chocolate yoghurt
• Praline chocolate
• Oats
• Golden Syrup
• Stem ginger
• Dried apricots (would normally buy organic but none of the shops had it!)
• Lemon juice
• Grapefruit
• Canned peaches
• Wholemeal pita bread
• Lemon Juice
• Olive oil
• Hot chocolate

Total Cost: £18.67 out of £20.00
+ £1 left over from last week = £2.33 to next week’s £20 budget!

I already had:

• organic brussel sprouts
• organic carrots
• organic cucumber
• spaghetti carbonara (cooked and ready in the freezer)
• frozen peas
• 4 Food Dr Bagels
• Pasta sauces
• Pasta
• Falafel
• Rice
• Cous Cous
• Chickpeas
• Red kidney beans
• Lentils
• Fish cake
• Tuna
• Almond Butter
• Peanut Butter
• Crackers

And the menu plan for this week is:

Breakfasts

• Smoothie with a healthy ginger & flax seed flapjack x 2
• Yogurt with dried fruit, flax seeds, cut up grapes, grapefruit, almond butter x 4
• Food Dr bagel with peanut butter, orange juice x 1

Lunches

• Tuna, rocket, grapes on a pita bread with carrot sticks x 2
• Red Kidney bean, cucumber, rocket, lentil & grapefruit salad with yoghurt
• Falafel with brown rice salad – brown rice, chickpeas, dried apricots, cucumber, grated carrot
• Marmite on crackers, lemonnny chickpea salad, peach slices
• Leftovers
• Fish cake with chick pea & roasted veg tagine

Dinners

• Sfeeha (Nadia Sawalha’s middle eastern pizza) with roasted sweet potato, rocket & courgette salad x2
• Spaghetti carbonara with peas and salad
• Falafel with cous cous & roasted courgettes
• Tomato penne with broccoli salad
• Veggie stir fry with lentils
• Rocket and Courgette soup with pita bread & homemade hummus on the side!

Whew! And now I’m off to make middle eastern pizza!

What are you eating this week? Did you come in on budget?

As I’ve mentioned, I’ve committed to living on £500 ($730) a month including rent, insurance, car costs, food, recreation, medications, make-up, clothing, toiletries, phone costs and anything else which arises! This plan involves a lot of “sacrifice” but five days in, I’m amazed at what I’ve already learned!

One of the most common questions people have asked me, is how I intend to eat on £20 a week, while still being committed to my food principles which include: making sure I get my 5 fruit/veg a day, buying local & organic where possible and supporting fairtrade. 

So how do I plan to do it?

1. I’m shopping at home first!

2. I’ve stopped buying most drinks – 99% of what I drink now is water! Not only is this better for my body & skin, but it instantly cuts money off the grocery bill!

3. I’m shopping as much as possible in season via the local green grocer! I’ve recently moved, so it will take me time to find my feet within my local area, but I’ve always found buying from my local farmers or independent shops an economical way to shop! However, I’m also realistic that with a full time job, a volunteer position and my allotment, there may be weeks where I need to do a supermarket shop and I will not be hard on myself when I have to make that choice!

4. I’m focusing on simple, nutritional meals! Some of my favourite quick meals which are healthy and economical are exceptionally simple – last night I enjoyed a baked potato, topped with bean meadly, cooked peas and chive cottage cheese! Total cost was £0.70 ($1) for a meal which gave me two portions of veg, a portion of dairy, two portions of protein and was filling and yummy!

5. I’m planning meals via a system which works for me! I have admitted before, I’m not someone who likes a strict menu plan of what I’ll eat on each day, in fact if I try to stick to one, I usually fail. Instead I plan 7 breakfasts, 7 lunches and 7 dinners and choose that day (or the day before) which meals I’m going to have! As I have all the ingredients it isn’t any less organized than a stricter menu plan! It works for me

6. I’m practicing delayed gratification! The reality is, we did not always live in a time where we could open our fridge and cupboards and find 5, 10, 15, 20+ different foods to eat! Before I began living a more simple life, I would often fancy a pizza or Chinese food and simply give into this whim! What I learned was it was an expensive way to eat! The reality is, in the past I’ve had too much disposable income and in all honesty I no longer think that is a good thing. There is nothing wrong with having to wait to enjoy a take-away or dinner out. Small “sacrifices” like this, can change your financial picture and life!

7. I’m making use of my freezer! This weekend I plan to make my carrot & lentil soup, fish cakes, plus chickpea & kidney bean “burgers”.  A few hours work will give me at least 10 meals! I also plan to make ginger flapjacks!

8. I’m cutting out snacking and focusing on simple, frugal snacks!

9.  I’m making meat the side dish, not the main course! In actual fact, I haven’t eaten meat at all this week (unplanned)…!

10. I’m growing my own!!! And yes, still petrified!!!!

Using this system previously, helped me shave 75% off my grocery bill!

What is your food budget? How do you ensure you eat well & get the recommended minimum intake of fruits/veg/protein/calcium without spending a fortune?

Ten months ago I sat down with one of my closest friends and organized her finances, it was no easy feat! With an income of £12,000 a year and a mortgage, she was struggling and never seemed to have any money left. When I asked her what her financial goal was, she shared that she desperately wanted a holiday – she had been waiting for 5 long years! It was not an easy task, it involved re-jigging and re-jigging, moving money into different jars and a whole lot of sacrifice. She went from saving nothing each month to saving £200 a month, spending £40 a week on food to slashing it to £20 a week (and most weeks she had change left over) while still eating 3 veg a day and 3 fruits a day! On top of that she begun giving to charity (finally seeing/feeling she can afford to) and has been able to not only help friends in need, but start saving for her future too!

And today? Well she flies off for 2 weeks in the US, fully paid for, in cash! Yes budgeting and frugal living is wonderful and marvelous, and as my friend said to me last night – it changed my life!

The first step I used was to look at all the areas you spend money. It can be easy to forget, so have a look at your bank statements, credit card bills, write down in a notebook what you are spending and where (try doing this for 2-4 weeks), look around your home. To help you, here are the categories I either have or I’ve identified for friends:

• Mortgage/Rent
• Water
• Electric/Gas
• Television – in the UK remember the license fee plus any additional package you have
• Telephone – landline and mobile/cell
• Internet
• Taxes
• Giving
• Food
• Eating Out – include coffee/hot chocolate runs (can you tell this is where my weakness is?)
• Gifts
• Clothing
• Make – up
• Car costs – tax, maintenance, services, petrol
• Insurances – house, car, life, contents
• Vacations
• Mini-breaks
• Things for your home
• Child-care
• Health – dentist, prescriptions, insurance, co-pays (this is where I worry about my US readers…!)
• Beauty
• School Trips
• Hobbies and Sports – gym memberships, children’s activities
• Debt Repayment
• Credit Card Bills/Repayment
• Miscellaneous – basically where you are spending cash and have no clue where it is going!!!

Okay now you are ready for the final part in STEP I

• On a sheet of paper, put your take home pay (after tax) at the top of a page 
• List all these expenses beneath – as close as possible, write down what you estimate you are spending in each of these categories each month
• Now add up what you are spending
• Take what you are spending away from your take home pay and that becomes what you are currently left with at the end of the month!

Step II will be looking at areas where you can reduce your spending and increase your savings! Remember, it is, I believe, always possible to make some cutbacks, however small!

Honestly come step II, you’ll feel like dancing in the supermarket in joy and jubilation that you have a financial plan.

I leave you with some supermarket dancing! Happy Weekending