We’ve had a slow and gentle couple of days. And it has been wonderful, needed, and a peek at what else is to come. There have been games played, books read, walks on the waterfront and a bit of school work. And that was needed and perhaps a lesson for us all. We’ve chipped away at what was to do, but there was also a lot of downtime: a chat with my closest friend in the UK, reading of The Guardian {in print – a rare treat!}, talking and singing and song making and merriment. I am becoming more and more aware of the forces which pull and push during stress/ busyness/work/life/appointments, and the like, during which my internal dialogue and clock becomes something I don’t like, nor recognize. I yearn to be one of those people who can consistently tune out negative noise, the panic of running late, the very real strain of work, the child choosing to take longer than necessary to do school work, the financial stress, the normal, everyday parenting stress, with a few additional worries due to special needs. I have so far to go, but I’m recognizing it. And I hope that’s the first step. And the second step, more rest time for us all is being embraced with wide open arms. It was with that in mind that I’m changing bedtime routines here. I used to stagger the children’s bedtimes by 2.5 hours, so that I had 2.5 hrs each evening alone with my daughter, and about 1.5 hrs alone with my son in the mornings. But what I realized Saturday night is that I get no alone time. None. And maybe that’s a bit problematic long-term. So after talking about it and explaining why, I’ve changed my daughter’s bedtime so that it is only 30 minutes later than my son and then she can read her current chapter book in bed for 30 minutes. This gives me some time to breathe, without needing to mother. And while I’ll miss the 1:1 time, I’m going to look for it in other ways. Starting this week with a mother:daughter adventure we are excited about. In the meantime we’ll continue with the gentle, home-based living and I’ll keep practicing getting rid of that noise.
I hadn’t realized you weren’t carving out alone time for yourself. Alone time is mandatory if we are going to remain sane and grounded while being a single parent. Good luck with your new schedules, it does sound like home schooling has given you more opportunities and relieved the stress in your children.
Hi Frugal Trenches. I’m the one who suggested yoga as part of your self-care. Now please don’t think I’m a yoga nut (I’m not…been a long time since I could make myself into a pretzel) but this popped into my head just now as I was reading this post. Someone I knew years ago went to this place in Quebec: http://www.sivananda.org/camp/
I am not suggesting this specific place but something similar may help you to get your family away in the summer. This particular yoga camp has different options for accommodation and in the summer you can camp (bringing your own tent) which is the cheapest option. They welcome families all year long and even run a kids camp (but it is sleep away no parents so not an option). Many places would also reduce prices if you are in need – something to ask about.
If there are any holistic places near you, you could ask if they know of something similar. Just an idea…but a frugal one!
I agree, alone time is essential. Good on you for figuring out what you need
It really sounds like you are finding some balance. Just remember this is still new to you and the routine will come.
I think you do a wonderful job staying positive. I’m also glad that you are making time for yourself–a rested, refreshed mama is a more effective mama, I was once told! It is also a safe, comfortable way for your daughter to have some independant time. Glad you’re back!
Glad you can find the ‘you’ time- it is so needed. hope you are feeling better soon as well. x
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