It was one of those weeks, this week. It didn’t feel like a friend, but now that I’m sitting here, by candle-light, reflecting on some of the good that happened this week, I feel like I’m breathing again and ready to forgive the week for being a tad too fractious. I won’t re-hash it all, but it involved some long shifts, my son’s hospital testing, an infected foot {mine}, dental surgery {mine, too! Oww!} and most definitely vitamin D deficiency! Oh yes, the less said about it the better. Instead today and tomorrow there will be some nesting, some recovery for the soul and the knowledge each day begins a-fresh!
On that topic, I’ve been thinking a lot about self-care and busyness. I’ve come to the very real conclusion I don’t do enough to care for myself as a mother, and in turn that means I don’t always feel as at-peace as I’d like. Granted, self-care when solo parenting feels a tad hard – right now I’d settle for the self-care of solo grocery shopping! But I think there are ways and I’m going to try to find them. And busyness. The appointments and therapies and hobbies keep us on our toes. My children with their processing delays just take longer to do, well most things. And I think, what I’m realizing is that it is cutting too much into our down time. So, I’m determined to do less so we can do more of what matters – just be together not doing school work, or running errands, or ferrying to and fro.
And that is where being caught by this week left me. So last night we played a game, frolicked in the snow, the little ones had an early dinner, were read to and then tucked up in bed. I followed not long after; by 9 I was cosy under an eiderdown with Vinyl Cafe stories and a cup of tea in hand.
And today, we rest and relax and do nothing more than make oatmeal and read books and maybe fill a prescription or two.
Well, i think that,s a wise decision, slow life is best!!
Take it easy. Hope you feel better soon. X
I know this isn’t easy for you because you have a personality with rather high maintenance goals and this has to change a bit when you are a single mother. It’s really important to put on your own oxygen mask first so you can help your children. But I know you can figure it out, are already doing this………..For myself, when I feel a little overwhelmed I do a few minutes of following my breath in and out and when I have calmed a bit I (usually after breath 4 or 5) I continue to follow my breathing while saying the sort of mantra I learned from Jack Kornfield’s book Wise Heart: May I be filled with loving kindness, May I be well in mind and body, May I be safe from all harm – inner and outer, may I be peaceful and at ease. Then I say this substituting the word “all” for “I”. It doesn’t take that long and I find I am peaceful after. It can be said as a prayer. It is so healing to me.
If you are interested, I have two copies of that book and would be happy to send you one, though likely your library has it. My email is kjalics at rocketmail dot com
Sounds excellent! If you can keep your physical and spiritual tanks “topped up” as much as possible, the necessary things will be easier (not the same as easy, unfortunately), and the rest will be…unnecessary. Downsizing the goal list will help you find some peace, I hope. I’ve been praying for you, and especially for the hospital appointment. I wish you and your dear ones the strength to face the results with steadfast spirits. And I wish you a speedy recovery from your physical woes. It’s a good weekend to snuggle in at home!
Yes, please do look after yourself. As thickethouse said, “it’s really important to put on your own oxygen mask first so you can help your children.” I’m glad to hear you still have your candles to light. I still have the candles I’m trying to send you but for an address. xx
Self-care is so important, I’m glad you’re going to be doing more of it. And I think the kids will benefit too
One word: Yoga. It encompasses so much: breathing, stretching, meditation/concentration. If you can develop a daily practice (even 15 min) it may be very helpful. Yoga may also be very helpful for children with different needs so yours may benefit from it. And since it is something that can be practiced at essentially any age and in any condition (for the most part), it could be one more “tool” that you and the little ones have.
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I think you have it right. You cannot give to your kids when you have nothing to give.
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