Thank you for all your kind comments, and advice. In all my years of nannying and fostering, well I never once encountered life when children have the stomach flu. Oh, it was a rude awakening. I’m amazed at how right you all are – 24 hours later and they are much better (my daughter still drained and emotional). I’m off to work for 1/2 a day today (yes, on a Saturday – though this afternoon we are going to go for a long walk in the park!) so I’m pleased not to have to worry while trying to concentrate through meetings. And lets just say I added buckets to the list of must have’s for December.
Speaking of December, I will have a post up at some point this week sharing my thoughts about World Aid’s Day. Such an important topic. A topic in need of dialogue and discourse. And then there are December goals.
I’ve realized something these quiet (ha!) few days caring for two sick children. I’ve realized more than anything, how they function, whether they are able to rise to their potential, has a lot to do with me and whether I’m meeting their needs developmentally, spiritually, psychologically, emotionally. I mean we all know this, but sometimes it gets lost in translation. Since we moved we’ve had such difficult mornings. Both struggle in the morning (my daughter is ADD, my son severe ADHD – the reality is, for them like many children with their backgrounds, research tells us their brains lived chaos and that has had a huge effect in executive functioning, ability to follow direction, ability to process information etc.). And I realize, I haven’t really been supporting them in a way which works, for them in a morning. You see they require completely different approaches. And on a rushed, cold morning. With a commute to tackle and school to get to and work needing my attention, well it is easy to fall into the trap. The trap which meets no one’s needs and gets everyone on edge.
So I took these two days, this time, to really think about how I can change that. And I realize a huge part of the issue was that with the move and my tiredness and the commute and my arthritis creating pain in the morning, my own routine has been off. I’ve been expecting, because they are not pre-schoolers, and the routine doesn’t change (up, bathroom, clean teeth, get dressed, make beds), that they need less direction and I was getting frustrated we were yet again facing a little boy spending 20 minutes rolling around on his floor instead of getting dressed, and a little girl who was so busy humming and singing that she forgets she is done peeing and could, you know, get up and start her day! lol And heres the truth. This is where they are right now. They may chronologically be at a stage where they should be able to cope with more independence, but I need to turn the clocks back a bit because it isnt’ working. And in order to do that, I need to get up and get myself and our home more organized so that it runs more smoothly and is ready and waiting to celebrate them when they do meet those milestones, rather than constantly bellowing commands like “hurry, please, we are going to be late”.
So December. December is the month where I begin a routine which reminds me I’m their anchor and I need to get my act together to meet them where they are at, to stop expecting something they are not yet ready for because my time has run out. I’m going to share it here, and you’re welcome to join me. I’ve tried many over the last few years, but they were too much. Required too much blog time, or too much accountability. Instead I’m going to start by doing the following:
- December 1st post my new morning routine which will include some organization – making the centre of our lives, our home, run more smoothly.
- December 2-7th follow it and post about my progress and the effect it has on us all
Our children need us. They need us to not only encourage them and believe they can succeed, but also meet them where they are. They need us to listen to their whispers that something is too much, or they aren’t ready for it. And I’m determined that is something I have a responsibility to do. I want our home to be a source of stress-relief, or laughter and love. A place where yes, we cope with challenges and talk about frustrations, but a place where we aren’t starting each day frazzled. And the reality is, if I want that for them, I need to do something about myself, too.