A little feeling has been growing as of late. A “home” sickness if you will. Some mornings I wake up and forget. My head & probably my heart has a tiny moment of thinking today will include Dartmoor ponies, the rugged coast and the rolling countryside. And in the Friday quiet morning hours, before anyone stired, I let my heart imagine just how wonderful a few weeks at “home” would be. For we are about to enter one of my most favourite time to be in the UK – Christmas. The weather in the southwest still mild enough to enjoy the out of doors. The comraderie that exists around the country. The Christmas specials. The hot cocoa from my favourite independent shop. Time with good friends. And yet, we are a world away. And with my committment to live in the moment, and with two little ones who bring joy in all circumstances, we welcomed the weekend, home-sickness and all, with books and good food. Saturday was a bit of a lie-in, or perhaps more correctly, a very slow start. It was followed with dropping off at lessons, which gives this mama 1.5 hours child-free. This week it was spent cat sitting for a friend, popping into the library for a book for book club, purchasing natural wool balls to use instead of dryer sheets, a visit to the natural food store, the picking up of math exercses and filling a tank with petrol – am I the only mum who finds it much easier to fill up wthout needing to trek children in to pay? (I am rarely alone so it feels positively luxurious!) After that there were children to pick up, kiss and hear how their activities were, a 2 minute very cold walk (aka winter coats were forgotten), mortgage documents to collect and a big sigh as we arrived home. Inhale. Exhale. We are home. Our afternoon was spent reading and resting and joy-ing. Dinner was had by candle light. And after the conversation lulled and everyone huddled under blankets doing their thing (one reading Charlotte’s web, the other looking at a book about dinosaurs), I daydreamed of sheep and chickens and goats and bees and life as a stay-at-home mum and for a brief moment, I forgot work awaits and once again I will need to leave the children and focus elsewhere. And my slight grief at how long it took us to find each other was compounded by a note my daughter wrote for me – it thanked me for being the best of all the mummy’s she had and for not taking drugs. And I wanted to hold them for the rest of their lives and erase their pain and suffering. All too soon, it was time to tuck in, to hold close, to whisper the I love you’s. And after that was done, I wondered if there would ever be a way to be home, or at least be able to work part time outside the home and have more hours where I’m needed most. Could I sell children’s books? Do something with this blog? Who knows. But I dreamed for a bit and for a moment, felt hope. The tears almost began again, but instead I focused time off over Christmas (never had more than 4 days off on the trot in the 2.5 years I’ve been working in this country – despite becoming a mother, twice!).
And before long, Sunday arrived. One day closer to Monday. Trying to find the correct time (please tell me I’m not the only one who forgets to change all the clocks, so is in a bit of a tizzy for a couple of weeks following the clocks changing. Anyone?) I landed on Sense and Sensibility, which did nothing for my missing of Devon. Though as only the last two minutes were had, I turned on the radio and remembered some water and thought about what was most important to accomplish today. And accomplish we did, for we:
:: Visited the winter farmer’s market and came away with parsnips, garlic, onions and brussel sprouts ($9)
:: Spent time at a craft fair and came away with a stocking stuffer and very reasonable pea soup for $4
:: Picked up some soil and bird seed
:: Spent a good hour planting bulbs (daffodils, crocus’ and tulips) as well as garlic for next year – did I tell you we have a house, a house I tell you, a house!
:: Pottered around the house preparing for tomorrow (it hit me at 3:30 pm, Monday is nigh!)
:: Read books in various corners of the home
:: Got the laundry done (though it needs folding….somehow the whole wash, dry, fold is just one step too many!).
:: Had the place tidy for the week (until dinner was made and blankets found their way to the couch for some Charlotte’s Web)
:: Enjoyed dinner by candle light with the littles
:: Sat with a glass of wine (thank you, friends) watching Call The Midwife and squealing with delight at the mention of Downton Abbey once again gracing our screens in January. Oh yes, I’m a transported Brit, but still a Brit.
And all too soon, it will be time to join the rest of the household and sleep. And the week begins again.
I hope your weekend was defined by goodness and your start of the week is gentle and filled with little, tender mercies.