I wrote about this sometime last year, it was one of the biggest surprises as a parent to a children in primary/elementary school. And now we have now reached the 1 month mark since the new school year began and we’ve had requests for the following:
- Optional floor hockey program (during school hours) $80 per child. Total = $160
- Optional gymnastics program (during school hours) $130 per child. Total = $260
- Optional skating program (during school hours) $200 per child + must have a helmet with a face guard and skates (which we would need to purchase). Looking at second hand options + skating fees x 2 = $500
- Farm trip $17 per child = $34
- 2 night overnight camp $225 per child = $450
plus fundraisers by purchasing books + labels.
Total (minus the fundraisers) = $1384!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is 1 month into the school year for a child in grade 1 and a child in grade 3! The school is not in a wealthy area, it is not filled with parents with large incomes. I would imagine that amount was a challenge for most families. And yet, while I’ve said no to all of the “optional” extras (except the farm trip, though they didn’t attend as my cheque was late (innocent mistake, we were away for medical appts)), for most of the activities, my children were the only students not to attend, for the rest (like skating) they were one of 3-4 children in grades 1-6 who were not enrolled.
I have many thoughts running around my head about this. When I see school administrators driving BMW’s, I often think they may struggle to understand parents of more average means. The vast majority of families in the school have only one child, and two seems to be the max. I often wonder if our modern age, smaller family means our views of norms and “must haves” for children has become disoriented, simply because for family’s with 2 working parents and 1-2 kids, there is usually more disposable income. And then I wonder about this whole idea of providing for our children and what that means. I contemplate why people feel such pressure to give children access to every activity, why people would go into debt so their children can have access to what a school dictates is “best”, at a time which may not even be developmentally appropriate. Certainly for my Grade 1 and Grade 3 sweeties, a $500 trip away for 60 hours isn’t it. And I doubt they are alone.
I did once overhear another child say to my daughter that she never does the fun stuff with her class, she was quiet and I did wince in sadness for a moment. Afterwards I asked her how she felt about the comment and she said “well they don’t know how much fun we have at home”. And in that moment, I learned from her, yet again.
As a mother, who knows her children best, this year we did add in some additional activities to the one we did last year. But before jumping at any program or doing it simply because every other child is, I thought about priorities, what was gained from the activity, whether this was the right time for it and whether that gain could be made from anything else. In order to afford the activities, one for each child was a birthday gift and they have one additional activity each which was carefully planned and had to be within our budget.
I don’t have the money to spend more than $1300 in a month for some fun “extras”. And if I did, I’m quite certain I’d make the same choice – I’d rather that money be spent on time together, or on some needed therapies for my children. And if school administrators can’t understand it, then that really isn’t our problem. Though I do so wish they would stop and think about how it may make children & families feel who can’t participate.
I haven’t been in school for a long time, and I don’t have children, so this came as a surprise to me. I had no idea there were so many extras now, and those extra expenses seem like a lot, not to mention that I can’t help but wonder about the problems with having costly activities during school hours that some children might not be able to participate in.
I’m sure that it’s tough – no one wants to be left out, or to see their child left out – but I think you’ve made the right choice. There are bigger priorities for spending money on, and maybe your choices will be a lesson for other people who are not in a position to comfortably afford this kind of spending (it strikes me that it’s also possible that some of these fees are winding up on credit cards). That said, I love your daughter’s statement – she sounds very wise!
When my boys were in school the extras were just getting to be big things. At first the annual trip to the Pumpkin Farm where the child needed $1 to buy a pumpkin was fine, but $60 to go to an amusement park wasn’t so fine with me. As they got older the school “required” the parents to pay for extra “physical education” which included bowling trips, golf for a semester and so on. Luckily I had decided to pull my boys out and home school them before I encountered the bigger expenses.
Then there are the fundraisers, a roll of wrapping paper that costs $14. Are you kidding me. Pizzas, etc. They offer incentives to the children of free prizes for the most sold, but there was no way my children were going door to door making people feel pressure to buy something they didn’t want. Oh and then there’s the children having to deliver everything when it comes in.
A day at an amusement park IMO is best when parents and maybe invited friend or two join, not during school hours when they should be learning.I would have done the same as you. There is no way I could have paid that and wouldn’t have if I could.
What happened to educating the children at school?
Wow that is a lot of money for extras that do not seem to have much to do with education. Other than the activity you were going to send them on the only other one I can see as being educational is the camp. But for your kids they may not be at the stage where they want to be away from you. I live in Australia and I am part of a community group that raises money to pay for kids to go on camps where their families may not be able to afford to send them normally. (not saying that this is your situation). I bet if you gave your kids the option of going on a “camp” with just the 3 of you they would rather do that. Borrow a tent from someone and camp in the back yard. Toast marshmellows lie on the ground an look at the stars. Camp at home would be much cheaper.
Ugg
I work in the office of my daughter’s school (she’s Year 1, in New Zealand) and am responsible for costing the various activities. I know that some of them get pricey, especially for the sporty kids further up the school, but most are as cheap as possible. That and most are linked directly into the curriculum, so not just time out of lessons.
This year’s trips/visiting programmes for her year – and bear in mind that this is the whole year, because we run from Feb-dec – have included:
- $4 art workshop,
- $4 “life education” (basic dos and don’ts)
- $15 heritage museum visit
- $8 swim/sport fun day (whole school)
- $8 Christmas grotto visit
- $55 swimming lessons (10 half-hour sessions, nearly 50% cheaper than usual).
Apart from the camps – which only start in Year 5! – that’s a pretty typical pattern for us. The Year 8s spend months raising cash towards their trip to the capital, e.g. bake sales,quiz night. There are the odd “gold coin” fundraisers, but those are usually for charities, though the PTA is selling calendars at the moment.
Hmm.. It’s still more trips than i remember as a kid, but sounds like certain other schools have gone totally overboard!! Best wishes to them, because the marketing/over-stimulation fairy clearly has them in her clutches…
Sounds familiar…. . We had to go in & talk to the head about a variety of charitable “sponsorship” ventures at school where the charities provide incentives for the kids who raise the most money- prizes for different increments. We also spoke to our boys about the charities we already support & that it is all about giving what you can (not always money either !) , not about giving the most. I also find it hard to accept that the charities concerned spend money that is raised for them on “gifts” for those that are giving !
A ski trip next year for eldest son would have been over £1000 ! Needless to say, he isn’t going. We could have a family holiday for that & still have change .
I was also shocked when talking to other parents last Chritmas at the nativity concert when some of them said they were buying i-pads for their 6 year olds for Christmas “because that’s what they want”. Has the world gone mad ?!
That is completely unreasonable. Is the school Head willing to talk about costs? Do they value parent feedback? I think it is good you are teaching your children to stand up and not follow the Jones’!
I expect that a lot of the parents use a credit card for these things and then have trouble paying it down. Keep making the decisions that are right for your children and your budget. If you have time, you might send a letter or speak to the principal of the school. If the school considers floor hockey to be so important, it should include it in the physical education curriculum. (etc, etc) I really think that overnight trips are not appropriate for such young children. Going in a big organized group is far different from a night spent at a friend’s or relative’s house, and even in the latter case, not all children will be comfortable with it at such a young age. Mom knows best!
Blessings.
seems like an awful lot of activities ? my 3 are in 3 different school and we only get a request for additional extras usually once ( unless it directly supports their education – eg trip to the war museum to study first world war ). I dont think that even with 2 in high school i have paid out more that £25-30 in the last year ! It does seem like an awful lots of extra curricular. i also agree with Mitty – i think overnight stays at that age is far to young. Keep going with what you are doing FT – your children will be the ‘richer’ for it xxx
I’m a teacher in Canada and I’m completely astounded by those costs! Wow! In school physical education activities have no fees here. Hockey, gymnastics and skating would be after school programs, decided upon by individual families. Our grade 4 – 6 students do go on 2 day ski trips which cost about $35 each including the rental of boots and skis, a lesson and 3 hours of skiing. Our teachers work hard to keep field trip costs to a minimum for families and typically older kids would have more of those. In my opinion going to amusement parks and movie theatres are not school related activities (but some would disagree with me!). I know that our married daughters would not be participating in those activities based on those costs with their children. Good for you to make the right decision for your family. And I do think that a chat with the principal to share your concerns would be very appropriate.
I do read your blog often but this is the first time I’ve commented. I’m passionate about education so this was the post to bring me out of the woodwork
You need to get on this school board and make some changes. Talking about or suggesting you are on a limited budget is taboo for a lot of people but we live in very hard times and no-one has “plenty” of money. Dont be shy about this – the people you see driving BMW s are most likely up to their necks in debt.