We are holidaying at the moment. It is so amazing to be here, on a vacation, with my children. We’ve enjoyed many hikes, a horse ride, swimming in lakes and a very very exciting “moose spotting adventure”. While the holiday has been very joyous and I’ve felt many “I really am a mum” moments (funny since I’ve been a mum for almost a year now), it has also been a time where I’ve pontificated on all the changes I need to make for my children. I need to slow down, I need to give my children the best of me (not simply what is left at the end of a long day), I need to work less, get more sleep, find more time for family time, take better care of my health, listen to my inner-voice, give God’s peace greater respect and learn to be more mindful in my own thoughts/emotions and as a parent. I think, and this isn’t an excuse, I’ve been so aware that these two wee ones have so many needs and rely on me for everything, that I’m terrified of dropping something and not being able to provide for my children, this means in my time is stretched too thin. My priority and desire is always to be with my children – being home with them full time would be my greatest, impossible, dream, but what I can do is make better choices where I can, starting with a new goal of being home by 4:15 at least two days a week.
My mum’s arrival should help in many ways – once a week I plan to attend a free community yoga, dance or tai chi class while my mum watches the children. I need to get healthier for them and I hope this is a good step. Not having to pay for PA day childcare (thank you, mum!) will release about $75 a month, which I hope to use on a family activity like a family yoga or tai chi class. This means exercise twice a week for me, and a fun, relaxing and calming activity for our family. In addition, I have begun playing a bird sound CD to my children at night, which relaxes us all and I plan to use some Birthday money to buy an A-Z of essential oils book and begin using some essential oils bought for me from by friend to help me relax and help them with sleep and anxiety.
This little break isn’t over yet. We have two more joyous days where my mind will be fully engaged and present. And when we return home, I hope some new changes emerge.