He Has Been Good To Us

I often forget. If I were being honest, I’d say I forget most of the time. I don’t remember as I encourage children to quickly eat their breakfasts, or stay focused as they are getting dressed. I certainly don’t remember as I’m trying to rush us out the door to work & school. At work I’m trying to be everything to everyone and get a lot done. Then there is the rush to pick up the wee ones from school and be as encouraging and patient as possible with two tired souls, one of whom finds evenings tough. There is dinner to make, backpacks to sort through, homework to be done, tears to wipe, encouraging to do {neither of my children are “good eaters” during the evening meal}, pajamas to be put on, books to be read, good-nights to be said, reminders to stay in bed to be said in as nice a way as possible. And once there is quiet there are dishes to be done, clothes to be laundered, sweeping of floors (which is a necessity), pets to attend to, work to check in with, work emails to be sent, work documents to be reviewed. And then loooooong after the sun goes down, eyes get heavy and what happens next can only be described as rolling into bed, only to repeat the experience too few hours later.

And sometimes it begins to feel a bit “too much”,  and you begin to feel hurt from the pull, the pull of being physically and emotionally stretched too thin. Suddenly you realize how close tears are to the surface and occasionally you are surprised to feel a hot drip running down your cheek, with each drop acting as a reminder of your needs and a reminder you aren’t sure how they’ll be met. And then, just as it comes to the surface, just as you begin to feel this “journey” is mammoth and lonely and exhausting, just as you selfishly throw out a couple of prayers pleading for a bit of relief, it comes. It comes from places you least expect it, a friend inviting your family out for a meal with theirs, reading some beautiful prayers to say for your children, a lovely song which makes you smile at the thought of one day being able to take piano lessons, a special friend of your children’s continuing to become more involved in their life, a giggle or laugh from the corner of the room which is a reminder to be still and find joy and appreciate. And suddenly, suddenly, you realize all this is holy, sacred; the crippling feelings of how you will do it all, the tears, the giggles, the preparing of snacks, the reading of stories, the shared experiences with friends, the people who come into your lives seemingly from nowhere, but just what you need. And you begin to see, because in my selfishness I can’t always see it, just how good God has been. You begin to realize He provides just what you really need, when you need it. Not necessarily in your time but in His. And you can see, in His wisdom that is the right time, for there are lessons to be learned in this. Lessons about grace, kindness, compassion and meeting needs. Lessons about just how much you can’t do without Him and shouldn’t even try. 

He has been good to us, He certainly has.