“No matter how dark the moment, love and hope are always possible” George Chakiris
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with three particular things: how much I want to be more holy, how much sadness and pain there is in the world and how many barriers there seem to be in order to pursue my calling. It is easy to think tough situations and road blocks in our lives & the lives of others are beyond hope, and won’t repair no matter what we do. I often feel like this. Sometimes I think I very wrongly “park” situations in one place and let that be the defining moment. Up until a year or so ago I found myself saying things I was trying to accomplish were too hard, there were too many road blocks, it was of too great a personal sacrifice, I was too tired or even other selfish things like I’m doing all I can but no one will meet me half way or why is it me who is doing this when so many other people I know are in a better place to do it but they aren’t willing to go down this path. Thankfully God pruned me and I no longer feel like this, I feel more now like it is an honor & privilege to walk a harder path and it is the nature of truly following God. Now I need to apply this learning to other areas of my life, where I feel like I can’t keep going.
It is true I can’t bring the dead back to life, I can’t instantly have the money to do great things and I can’t heal the incredible incredible wounds of people I meet. But, I can focus on trying to understand people and trying to find beauty everywhere and I have learned {by the grace of God} to find beauty, peace, love, hope and joy in so many things: flowers, a nap, hot chocolate cooking on the stove, holding the hands of the dying and caring for the abused, yet sometimes I still struggle to see the light at the end of the tunnel, to see that even if you are in a negative situation there is ALWAYS hope, there is ALWAYS the ability to respond in love {even when people respond to us in anger} and there is ALWAYS beauty, even if the beauty is solely found in what you learned on a tough, dark road. I know that clinging onto faith, hope & love never fails and I’m learning to not expect things to be fixed now, but instead see the beauty in the experience and have faith in what awaits. I need to take the lessons I learned to enjoy the moment and apply them to situations where I need the courage to keep going for the long-term.
As I start this brand new week, I’m thinking a lot about how to always believe that hope is possible, that light can always be found and even the most difficult of situations can improve. Last week I began awaking two hours before I leave in the morning, this has been {for far too long} a sacrifice I wasn’t willing to make. It was easier to have that last hours sleep and then rush, forgoing important things like prayer, positive thinking and essential reading. But what I realized was in order to really and truly walk in love, hope, beauty and perseverance each day, I need time to dedicate each and every day; I need time to pray for strength and reflect on what awaits and how I am going respond, react, think and feel . Having the time each morning to prepare and remind myself what I believe in and why I’m in this for the long run, is helping me live the principles I believe so fully in. So each morning I will practice “No Parking” and believe situations can always move & change as long as we aren’t scared to get into the vehicle and buckle up for a long ride and define our lives by beauty, hope, love and grace for the short journeys and the long ones.
Today, like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened. Don’t open the door to the study and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument. Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.”
~ Rumi
Today is Monday and I will start my week not in stress of emptiness but by living in richness, holiness, beauty, grace and joy which are possible in all situations! How about you?
One of the key things I’ve heard from theologians is that those truly following their faith have a harder time. They don’t look like the young couple next store who have it all together and are living the “western” dream of a house, 2 good jobs and a child or two. They are the ones who are worrying about others, spending their evenings helping others, volunteering, going abroad on trips, adopting, fostering, taking in hurting and abandoned people, giving financially, physically and emotionally until it hurts. I often think of that when I reflect about the path you are on and it is an honor to be part of it.
On a lighter note I hope you are happy for Colin!
I think Elizabeth is very wise!
If you read the accounts in Acts and the epistles, the first Church leaders did not lead very “comfortable” lives, either…
I hope you’re ok, though. Thinking of you! x
I’ve been thinking more about this over lunch and I want to say I also think it’s an incredible testimony that you are trying to work on who you are and grow. I also think the fact you can see where you (or really we all should) need to go to be more holy and more positive about your long term callings show strength and character that most people will never have. You are so much stronger than you realize and such an inspiration.
I think I am at a still very selfish stage – “Why don’t other people care more?”, “Why are people so complacent?”, etc – when what I should be doing is praying, praying, praying for their spiritual growth and just doing what God wants me to do, not worrying about what others do! But I hope to change, little by little, more into the image of Christ, as I spend more time at His feet.
I too get sometimes overwhelmed, even depressed, by all the pain in this world, and how little I am able to do about it. Three things help me cope with this – the first is prayer. Prayer for God to provide for people’s needs that I cannot meet, prayer for our all-powerful, all-knowing God to fulfill His promises – to act on behalf of the widow and orphan! George Mueller, who cared for thousands of orphans in England, did this – and God always answered His unselfish prayers on behalf of the orphans he cared for. The second is just do what I can for something burdening my heart- even if all I can do right then is give the change in my wallet to care for widows in the Middle East or to stop s*x trafficking in my hometown. I feel better, even if I only gave 35 cents! The third is to constantly remind myself that although there is always pain and injustice in this fallen world, I am waiting for another world where there will be no more pain, hunger, crying, abuse, neglect, etc – but Christ will reign and light up the whole place with His glory!
You are way too hard on yourself but one of the things I most respect about you is that you live a life layed down for others and it is evident to all who know you. I also think you are very humble and modest about yourself. You don’t selfishly profess to want to do great things, you want to simply live day in and day out improving yourself in order to live a life of great things big and small. I feel like you are the person who would never say you can’t help someone or offer them a drive or let them stay with you, your answer is always yes, how can I help.
I respect so much about you FT and I want you to know that. You are a great woman made greater by the fact you really don’t know it. There is never any point reading your words and not working on myself too. Thank you for being a mentor.
I too have struggled with the idea of, “why is my path more difficult than others?” But over the past few years I’ve been learning how God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, so if He thinks that I can handle this, I’m honoured and blessed that He thinks so.
what words of beauty applicable to us all, FT! hope you don’t mind but i shared this as “from a friend” on facebook. i think these words are powerful!