I’ve been thinking a lot lately about debt; I loathe debt and yet for a long while I didn’t realize debt wasn’t necessarily about money. The truth is you can be in many types of debt and not even realize the effect it has. You can be in debt to sleep, work, dreams, goals, health, money, stuff, banks, friends, family, your home, blogs, email, yourself and your pets, to name but a few. Debt can either mean owing people something {time, money, correspondence or care} or being ruled by something {shopping, busyness, emotions, the internet, socializing or stress}. No matter what type of debt you are in it has the same consequences and causes the same sweaty brow that seeing a massive credit card bill elicits and the same stress as a phone call from a creditor! It is serious stuff!
Most of the time I think we are in time debt, not giving our body, our home, our family or our friends what we should because we are too busy. As I’ve adjusted to my new life I realize I’ve been in the debt of busyness, neglecting important people & crucial rhythms in my life and only doing the motions with my Bible readings & prayer. Sure I’ve sent the odd email here and there, I’ve said my prayers and read some passages, but to me that’s a bit like giving a minimum payment, it’s a coin in a very LARGE bucket and not really a solution to the problem. It is the beginning of a cycle it is nigh on impossible to break.
We are fed image after image of busyness, our success is measured by how much we’ve accomplished, what letters we have after our names, how big the size of our home is, what our wardrobe & accessories look like, the size of our bank accounts/retirement savings and how young we can retire. Only I often look at those things and think about what debt we had to take on in order to make those choices, what relationships did we not nourish, what time did we not give people we love, what visits to see family did we not take, what phone calls to tell someone they matter were we too busy to make, because one thing I’ve learned is you simply can not have it all. Too often we swap one type of debt for another, playing cat & mouse with nothing keeping us on track, when the truth is life is a trade-off and we need an anchor in order to keep our path straight or we are forever chasing that which we can not catch. Whether we believe it or not, we can’t necessarily accomplish in one area without neglecting another. And I’d rather neglect the areas that aren’t important and cherish the people & values that are most important.
My name is Frugal Trenches and while I get that life comes with ebbs & flows, the truth is debt {of any kind} is not my friend!
Very true. Unfortunately this sort of way of living is so often nurtured even in the very young who are taught non stop all sorts of skills and whose parents need to work overtime to pay for these wonderful privileges. Life is now. It can only be lived once. We should live our lives in the way that reflects p[raise to the one who gave it to us, not in praise of human accomplishment and greed. Cherrie
Your post is starting a thinking process in my mind. I will reflect about it for al while. It feels like there are some elements of truth in it.
Very thought provoking and a point well taken. I now have a few more debts than I realised. Thank you.
You’ve described my problem . It seems like I’m a great money manager, but not a very good time manager. I’m trying to streamline the household so that it’s easier to keep things running smoothly, allowing more time to catch up on some of those other debts. I can see where the changes need to be made, just haven’t figured out how to make it all work, yet.
Love this post. It really spoke to me, and judging by the other positive comments, it spoke to other people too. I had never really thought of anything but money as debt, but you are very right. I’ve been working on eliminating some stress in my life, and in doing so, I’ve been eliminating some of the debt you mentioned.
With today’s industrialized society, I feel like it is expected that everyone will be in various debts and stressed continuously. It’s been a challenging commitment to put my health, happiness, and family above other obligations (or debt). I think the first step to change is understanding–and your post really put things in perspective. Thanks!
FT I’ve read this post three times already, I am in debt, I do not give myself or my family enough time. Weekends are too busy rushing around, visiting people, attending activities and running errands. We do try to take a nice walk on a Sunday afternoon which is the highlight of my week and something I started after reading some of your wonderful parenting tips about getting into the great outdoors and staying away from restaurants and shops on Sundays. The fields aren’t on our doorstep, but it does make us stop for a couple of hours each week to simply be together with no distractions.
I need to work on my debts, thank you for the push!
Love this!
Excellent, excellent post FT. I am in debt to stuff and being too busy socially. I need to find the peace you do with being home and focusing on more important things than shopping and being out all the time. Thanks for the reminder!
Lots to think about in this post, FT. My main debts are time and sleep.
You, I , and all of us must realise that we can’t do everything. We can’t respond to every cry for help, much as we want to. We must nurture ourselves and not overdraw our
” personal” accounts, otherwise we will not be fully effective in what we can do.
This speaks to me in so many ways. I so often feel too short on time, and am having a hard time defining my priorities so that I spend time on what’s most important to me. Thanks for this.
Honestly I needed to hear this.
My stuff gets my attention as does the mall and my favourite coffee shop. My friends get my attention because I have fun with them because it is what I want to do. Maybe I’m in debt to others because I do so little for anyone else but myself. I would never do many of the things you think of doing but I see the peace ooze out of your photographs!! I so need to change how I live!!!
Great post. Time is our greatest asset and commodity – not money & not things…took me many years to learn this.
Lovely ideas here. Time is a very precious commodity and will not come again. Hope you have some success in slowing down and enjoying the moment.
A very thoughtful post. Thanks so much!
a lot of food for thought here. Something I’ll come back to regularly and read again and again, as it is so easy to get into that spiral, keeping busy and leaving aside people just because you don’t realize another day, anther week, another month has passed without a phone call or an email.
If you don’t decide your priorities, you’ll never have time for them, there’s always something to keep you busy.
Thanks for that post. I’ll go on and meditate on it, and put some reminder on my bedtable…
This reminds me of Dale Carnegie when he talks about prioritizing. Too often we don’t do the important because it is not urgent. Of course we need to take care of the urgent and necessary, but then should come the important.
Hello FT
Betty from Wiltshire here. Just to say thinking of you over in Bbbbrrrrr cold Canada. It is wet and windy here. Loved your thoughts on debt made me think about where I am in the debt stakes and I did not come out very well. Thank You
Ft, I cannot begin to say how much I agree with this post. So much so that I think I am too going to write a similar post on my site (linking to here of course!). One thing I have learnt along my path to simpler living is that the busy, material lives of others are always trying to suck you back into their world, especially if your friends and family don’t share your views. I need posts like this every so often to make me reflect on my life and realign myself where needed. Thank you so much for your wise words ft!
Betty I’m from Wiltshire too!
Stacey x
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So glad you all enjoyed this post! It was a pleasure to write and reflect on!