“Do you miss England???”
Yes, I really do. I grew up here, but also spent a few years of my childhood in the UK. Both are “home” but for very different reasons. I’m much much much closer to my Canadian friends (most of them are about 2 -3 hours from where I am now), I find them so warm, embracing, easy to get along with, happy-go-lucky and they just “fit”. I love that there are so many opportunities here, I love my CBC radio (you knew I was going to mention that right?) and I never feel oppressed when I’m in Canada – I’m not sure if that’s the lack of overt class system compared to the UK, but there is a freedom I’m so thankful for when I’m here, a belief you can achieve the impossible. But (you knew there would be a but!) geographically where “my people” are in Canada, there is no seaside, no rolling countryside or mountains for hiking and I’m a real outdoors person. I miss the wild ponies on Dartmoor, the walks by the sea to end the day, I miss the rain (oh how I loooove rain!), my mum, hearing my aunt’s voice on the other end of the phone, my wonderful art deco fair trade cafe, the donkeys & goats and of course Mr Martin, Mr Darcy & Countryfile.
There was one day this week when I was walking and I said to myself “I miss home” and instead of allowing myself to feel guilt for feeling a tad homesick and forcing myself to suppress it, or just as unhealthy wallow completely in it (aka why do I have to choose?!), I then said out loud “so miss it”. And I did. I missed Edinburgh and Oxford and London and Dartmoor. I listed all the things I would do if I was there right now. And after each one I said out loud “so miss it” quite loudly! And, well, I just felt better. Supression of emotions is never a good thing, never-ending whining is never a good thing, I strive for balance each day; where there is balance, there is light!
“Where we love is home, home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.” Oliver Wendell Holmes
Great post! I went to a wonderful talk this weekend about being connected with your emotions…we did a “welcoming prayer” where you picture yourself in a room, and “welcome” each emotion in turn. There’s no judgment for what you feel, but just acknowledging, in turn, each emotion you feel, as a way of staying connected to your emotions, and not closing off, or heaping guilt on yourself because of the way you feel…
(ps I think England misses you too!
xx
I’m hoping the cows, alpacas, donkeys and sheep do. I was good to them. Didn’t eat them. Brought treats. Sang them songs. You know. I was a good friend
Beautiful photos FT! It is good to read your response on this because it is something I struggle with! People are always quick to make stupid statements like “you can always move home”. As always you seem ever so balanced and realistic!
Forgot to say I love the quote, I might have to scribble that one down on a sheet of paper!
I’ve been reading your blog posts, but not responding a lot lately. I was a little depressed, and a little caught up in a cancer scare (it now appears I do not have Cancer) but even though I’ve been quiet, I’ve been thinking about you and praying for your well-being and success and being inspired by you to work more on my to do lists. I have a lot of relatives in Germany and Hungary and have lived in Budapest and Stuttgart probably about 7 years of my adult life, so I know a little bit about wishing one were some place else, and missing people and places. You are right to experience the emotions, and observe yourself doing it. It’s part of taking care of yourself and then being able to help others. Peace to you, Julie, and keep on keeping on!
I have to chuckle slightly at being called Julie, it isn’t my name but a name very special to me!
Thank you for all the lovely thoughts.
Thicket I’m so sorry you were sick! I’m so glad it isn’t cancer!
Another lovely post. I went through a bout of depression after leaving England last summer. I did not grow up there but I very much enjoyed it the two summers I spent there … but then again, anything’s better than Illinois cornfields after a couple decades of living in them. I would love to hike in the Peaks District again… but, alas, I must think happier thoughts and relive memories, or I’ll go down the sad road again. Live in the moment, and move on. Thanks for the inspiration!
Lovely post, I’ve been in Canada almost 6 years now and love it here but do miss the UK too. I, like you, find it best to embrace the homesick moments, not wallow but allow myself to remember the things I miss, and look forward to the next trip “home”.
It’s always a little hard when your heart belongs to more than one place, but I have to consider myself lucky to have the opportunity to live in either of these lovely places.
And if you want some hiking, you are welcome to come here; it’s not such a long plane ride from where you are now!!
That would be awesomeness. If I wasn’t in the middle of the “impossible” challenge I would not be in this province. I need more outside space, oceans, mountains etc.
So glad you love Canadians. Don’t forget we have rain too! Vancouver and other places on the west coast. We also have a few oceans. Take your pick (north, west or east). I hope you make yourself at home. Maybe once you have a job and settle in you can think about being near oceans or mountains as it is so fantastic in many places here. Blessings xx