That I am home. Leaving was single-handedly one of the top two most difficult days of my life, walking away from beautiful faces, filled with smiles, hope, love and desperation, a desire and need to be loved completely. I saw the reality, the truth about what happens when someone doesn’t have access to food, water, medications. I had to stare my smug western ideals in the face… that was hard. And yet, witnessing miracles every single day, made it easy. Re-defining what I thought a miracle was, was essential. I needed re-tuning.
Everywhere I went people thanked me, were intrigued as to why I was there, could not fathom why someone would volunteer to do this or want to care for children. Finding the answers was sometimes tough, balancing a value for life with respect for culture is a delicate act, one I hope I got right.
And I’ve left with some souvenirs, since there was no budget for souvenirs - I mean which would you choose: books, clothes, dressings and medication for kids with nothing or some stuff for yourself?! Easy answer…but I’ve left with a leg which isn’t cooperating, a blood blister in my mouth, a recently emerging cold and a soul overflowing with the most amazing memories, the most wonderful joy, the most beautiful peace. Who needs jewelry or traditional clothing when you’ve got your soul filled to the brim!
And I come away knowing just what a difference hope makes. Hope is found in the power of a $4 bottle of medication, a new dressing which keeps you clean, a $150 surgery which gives sight back, a child by some miracle being adopted, someone holding your hand as you die, a child who has faced such rejection, yet still puts their hands up to you to be held, and I most definitely found it when a 10-year-old learns to sit for the first time.. . Hope is always there somewhere, even if you have to look further than your eyes can see, even if it comes only when your eyes can no longer cry or produce tears. Yes, hope reigns…always!
And I’ve come away not with a sense of duty, but with a soul filled with love. A soul which knows I can do so much more, not out of some savior complex or belief I can single-handedly tackle the world’s problems, but because I know now what the power of love can do. It makes people find $50,000 to adopt, it allows people to get passed their own fears and care more about the sick and dying than their own comfort level, because like hope, love never fails.
“And now these three things remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love”. 1 Corinthians 13:13
And somehow this technophob with very limited means, striving after a simple life, is about to do something BIG. I don’t know how, when you add it all up, it seems positively impossible, but I know babies can beat all odds and survive, people can and do achieve the impossible. And really is anything ever impossible? And so now, I have the “impossible” challenge lying ahead of me over the next 3 months. But I don’t believe in impossible, do I?
Thank you for all the wonderful emails while I was away and the occasional comment that got through! Comments are now restored :0) And my new post is up at the co-op!
Welcome home FT.
I bet Kitty as happy to see you : )
I have really enjoyed reading and learning from your posts while you were away. This might sound silly, but I feel blessed to have come across your blog and had the opportunity to learn & grow spiritually – with you.
I can only imagine the courage it took to get on that plane and take on this journey. To not truly know what to expect and how you were going to handle the experience.
I really encourage you to write a book. You write so beautifully and you make people think.
lol Melanie, I can’t imagine anyone paying to read what I say!!! lol glad you like the posts though
I have to second Melanied’s comment, please do write a book. Now this will sound silly but I too crave your writing, there is something in what you say and how you share that just does something to me and inspires me.
Thank you for sharing your blog and your life. I can’t wait to read more about your big new adventure!!
Great to have you back. I have been checking in with all the posts but just didn’t know what to say in response to some of your posts, I just don’t have the appropriate words to voice how they made me feel.
It sounds like you’ve had a truly life-changing time out there.
Looking forward to hearing more about this BIG thing you’re doing for the next 3 months!
Welcome home! It sounds like you had an incredibly rewarding if difficult time, and I’m hoping to hear more about it. In the meantime, though, feel better soon.
Glad you are back safe, you have never been far from my thoughts!
xxx
So excited to hear more about this “big” thing. If I can do anything at all to help (even just be a sounding board) you know where I am
Wonderful to have you home safe and well with your ‘souvenirs’ of an amazing trip.
How was kitty when you got back? I bet she hasn’t strayed far from your side!
Looking forward to hearing about your big plan.
Welcome Home!! So glad you made it safely and had such a great experience! I can’t wait to hear more and I hope you adjust back, I was thinking about how hard that might be.
Welcome home! Did I miss it? Did you say where you went? I admire your selfless acts and am looking forward to hearing about your big plans!
Welcome back FT. And thanks for your posts while you were away, I was checking everyday for updates.
You are always such an inspiration in what you do, I can’t wait to read how you will overcome the impossible in the next 3 months, and I know you will!
welcome back ft; you are so inspiring
Laura, I struggle so much to think I could inspire anyone, I’m very much an average Jane!
I can only imagine what you’ve gone through as you were away volunteering. I know that you have been stretched and that is a good thing. I know that the children have also been amazingly blessed as you have been blessed. I pray you get well soon.
Awesome, just awesome!
I want to say welcome back home, but I don’t think you really ever left. Neither did you leave anything behind upon your return – because you always took what you really needed. Faith.
How do you say welcome back on those terms, LOL?
But yes, there’s still an overwhelming urge to say welcome back and I’m glad your safe. Which I am.
Thank you for sharing your journey.
Thank you Chris!!!
Welcome back FT, I too have enjoyed reading your posts whilst you’ve been away. Very thought provoking.
I think we could all do with ‘re-tuning’, and yet I don’t know many people who actually take the steps to make that happen. In addition to all the emotions you write about in your post above, I hope there is some pride in there somewhere. Not your motivating factor I know, but deserved none the less.
Anna x
No pride (I hope!) but a whole lot of love & feelings of being honored to be with these special souls, for far too short a time.
I’m glad you enjoyed the posts! Thanks for your kind words!
Welcome back FT, it’s good to know you are back home. Thank you so much for sharing with us all, and I look forward to hearing about your next big adventure!
Cheers
Judy
hugs!
Welcome back FT. I’ve been reading all your posts and wandering about how life was going to be on your return.
Always inspiring, I look forward to seeing what you have planned for your furture.
Lisax
welcome home, you are trully a blessed humanbeing and an inspiration to us all.
I too would buy your book and look forward to the day it manifests.
blessings to you
Welcome Home :0)
And God Bless You xx
Fantastic and very humbling. Thanks.
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A little late, I know, but I’d like to say “welcome back” too!
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Welcome home… I love reading your posts… They humble me, motivates me, push me to do something… make me be thankful for the things I have.
You and your blog are an inspiration! I’m so glad to have chanced upon your blog.