Must Get Things Done Monday – Overwhelmed Edition

Yesterday it hit me, there have been a lot of changes over the last 6 weeks, probably too many, and in truth, it has been a tough few years.  In the six weeks I’ve been dealing with moving, a broken laptop, a broken phone, some sort of problem with my server whereby many emails aren’t being sent, a cat which needed care 24/7, two sick family members in need of a lot of support (writing to GP’s, lifts, shopping, cooking, cleaning) and being at a new job as the only person out of a team of 4 actually not on sick leave [which basically means I'm not only doing my job but at least two other people's as well]! Add to that working 50 hour weeks, daily worry & concern for someone’s safety [which just makes my stress levels consistently high] and preparing for a stint volunteering oversees which begins next month, not to mention this week I find out if I got a promotion, need to finish applications for graduate school [I have a place, but need to make sure I make the right choice so am applying for a few others] and need to get my VISA sorted and well, yes, life is full and yet I feel very at peace, relaxed and not [too] overwhelmed!  Last week as I was traveling 16 hours in a 24 hour period, I realized apart from volunteer trips, trips to visit people/job related trips, I’ve not had a holiday since July 2004, yes, almost 6 years! So despite the fact I’m kind of ready for a break – Florida or Hawaii sounds nice, the reality is, I’m remarkably at peace!

It occurred to me as I was watching the final Lost this morning, that when the show started I was preparing for the children to come and live with me, hanging out with my friend Fitzy each week and living a much “easier” life in Canada, with very few concerns or worries, friends around me, a nice house, good relationships, no money woes.  In the last 4.5 years, so many difficult experiences, so many tough choices, so much incredible loss and grief and yet, honestly I’m in a much better place today, right now even, despite it seeming like I have so much less, in all honesty I’ve gained the world. Now I know I’m never alone, I know God is always here, I know that trials and difficult times produce fruit, growth, skills and I know that perseverance brings hope.  I went from attending Church and praying a couple of times a week and feeling directionless, to finding peace in prayer daily (many times a day), finding solutions to all situations in the Bible and understanding I’m never alone. I’ve gained friends who would seriously hang the moon for you if they could, friends who may not be physically close, but friends who love and love and love.

Somebody asked me recently how they can keep from being overwhelmed with decisions, choices and life events, it was someone who knows me well, so knows a lot about the things I don’t blog about, I think she thought I held the secret to not being overwhelmed! Ha!  At the time I said I thought I was not the best person to answer the question, which brought copious laughter as they assured me I was the person best placed to answer, we agreed I’d think about it! But this morning , feeling a tad more confident, I agreed I’d share what works for me [please note: I am no expert, I get overwhelmed like everyone else, but I have found that there are certain choices I make which work for me]:

1. Faith shown through daily time in prayer, bible reading and obedience - I try to pray when I wake up, before I go to sleep, when I swim, if I see an ambulance/fire engine or hear a sad story. I can not put into words the peace prayer brings, the answers I get to major questions or concerns. Prayer never ever fails me! When I am scared about what lies ahead, when I am anxious about flying or spending a few weeks caring for babies in orphanages or holding the hand of someone as they are dying, I turn to prayer, instead of thinking I can’t do these things, I can’t be that person, I know with God I can do anything! I know He does not allow me to be paralysed by fear over anything and expects me to give everything - somehow, honestly asking myself what the Bible says and then doing it makes tough choices a whole lot easier!

2. I remember that honestly millions, no billions of people have it worse. I’ve often said to the people I support, if you all sat in a circle in a room and placed your challenges in the middle of the circle, you’d find someone has it worse! I keep abreast of worldwide issues, I work with people who are often very vulnerable so I know firsthand just how blessed I am. If someone took away my leg tomorrow, I’d wonder why I didn’t appreciate my leg today. I honestly and truly believe perspective really is everything and being thankful changes your heart and desires!

3. I so value the people in my life who spend their lives serving, helping, caring for others. They stretch me, grow me, encourage me and help me to keep turning to my faith when I’m struggling. I find I am a lot more overwhelmed when I see the life ahead of me, but am surrounded by people who focus only on themselves. When I surround myself with friends who’ve chosen to do difficult things, who live a life serving others, I feel a lot less overwhelmed, a lot more centered and less alone. So to those who are adopters, foster carers, workers oversees, army wives, carers for family with mental health challenges or other challenges, those who volunteer with the homeless, run foodbanks, volunteer through the night handing out flip-flops & drinks to drunk youths, those who have taken in family & friends escaping abuse or left homeless and those who just give their time, money or love, thank you! Just watching you encourages me and makes me feel like I can choose the walk on this path that is intended for me!

4. I make lists – yes I bet you knew lists would be mentioned! The reality is, I can’t do everything! I wish I could snap my fingers and fix my computer problems, I wish I could make everyone I love be home safe and sound, but I can’t. I can however, accomplish small things, I can try to set a few priorities for each day, week and month. My lists may be slightly ambitious, but I really do know what the priorities are!

5. I exercise, eat right and get outside! In truth this has suffered as of late, but I know I have so much more stamina when I make the time to take care of my body!

6. I say sorry! People who know me, know I say sorry a lot! This isn’t because I am personally responsible for what happens in the world, but I think to humble yourself when someone is stressed, anxious etc just somehow makes it better. Just last week I was dealing with someone who was very very very very stressed about  something [nothing in my control], I looked her in the eyes and said with true empathy “I’m just so sorry” and I could literally see her body relax, which relaxed me and helped me feel less overwhelmed with trying to help her!

7. I serve others! Since I learned this basic principle, my life has changed. Volunteering with abandoned cats, making cups of tea for people in a hospice, working as a volunteer youth group leader in a deprived area or even just making soup or salad for someone who is alone, busy or stressed. Honestly, giving somehow makes me focus less on the things I have to live with and focus more on helping others and giving thanks!

8. I accept I make a lot of mistakes! Right now, I owe post to about 5 people, I didn’t get a friend’s birthday card out in time, I owe thank you cards to more people than I can count, I know probably 50 people are waiting for emails from me (mostly I’ve sent them but due to the computer problems mentioned above, I’m 99% sure they didn’t get them). I will apologize to each of these people, but forgive myself and move on. Tomorrow is always another day!

9. I take time out, don’t dash around (as much as possible) and try to make sure each day I simplify what I can!

10. I seek to change and grow! I have a few accountability friends and I will often ask them if they think I have handled a situation well, whether I’ve been selfish, whether there are any aspects of my behaviour or life I need to change. I also pray over all these issues. Somehow trying not to repeat the same mistakes, admitting my mistakes etc really helps!

So today my simple non-work related priorities are:

• Touch base with the agency I’m volunteering with
• Scan CRB
• Unpack
• Swim
• Go for a walk
• Eat three healthy meals and drink 6 glasses of water
• Read my Bible and spend 30 minutes doing a bible study!

Suddenly I don’t feel so overwhelmed! What do you do to prevent from feeling overwhelmed while still making tough decisions or facing the demands on your time and life?