As I was going through my inbox, I read this question from a reader named Maggie. I thought it touched on such an important aspect of being a blog reader and with Maggie’s permission I’m posting it here.
Hi Frugal Trenches
One thing I love about your blog is that you blog about the good and the bad and seem to find blessings even in hard times. The truth is I have a hard time reading most blogs because they all seem too perfect. Perfect couples, perfect children, money for fun and luxuries like nice vacations in Mexico or nice meals at restaurants or spa days. How do you cope with reading about people’s perfect lives?
Maggie, one thing I have learned both through blog reading and my own experiences, as well as those of friends and family, is that no one has the perfect life! In fact there was one blog I read where it really seemed like they did, four beautiful children, a luxury home, a strong marriage, fabulous vacations/holidays, amazing clothes, mom at home, dad works part time and then boom they shared some more personal struggles and things are far from perfect for them! Do some people have much easier times than others? Yes!!! Do some people have an easier time economically? Absolutely! But, I’ll let you in on a little secret, people only blog about *some* aspects of their lives! Some people who blog have a child, sibling or parent with significant mental health challenges, but they do not blog about it, for a variety of reasons which are right for them. There are people who blog, who have a spouse or fiancée in the SF or other similar types of work and they simply can not blog about them, to the point where readers may not even know they exist. There are people who blog who are suffering miscarriages or ectopic pregnancies in silence, some people choose to blog about these things, others don’t.
I do not want an easy life, although I would like some things to be easier at times. I rely on my faith when I have feelings of inadequacy or fear, I know the Lord has great plans for His children and I take incredible comfort in that. I do not want my life to be filled with luxuries, instead I’d like to live my life serving others and yes I do get frustrated when it seems like I have the heart to do it, but not the practical means. My values help me keep away from the feelings of wanting what others have, and instead I focus on remembering that the reality is each person has their own struggles, some are simply more visible than others!
I hope that helps 
What a great post – and how true it is. I’ve suffered a fair amount of blog/life envy myself in the past and have even had it said about my blog (in a very nice way)but I can assure everyone that there is a huge amount of crappiness that goes on behind the scenes !! I figured it’s just got to be the same for others too. Blogs are just carefully chosen snapshots, whichever way that may go.
Oh boy do I know how Maggie feels. She is right, so many do just put the perfect on their site. I do love your blog though because it is real and motivating. On my blog, I talk about my journey being mostly homebound after recovering from cancer, so it is definitely not a perfect blog but it is real and is my real life. So keep searching Maggie, you will find many who talk real in their blogs.
You’re so right! Sometimes it does feel like other people have perfect lives… but then people often only blog about specific aspects of their lives.
I like my little blog to be a record of what I’ve grown in the garden, and the things I’ve sewn and knitted and done. Sometimes I look back and think it looks like I never go to work, or sit and cry, or fail miserably, or all the other things people do, but I never intended it to be an entire record of everything that goes on in life – it’s nice to have one place that’s always cheery
Hope Maggie manages to be inspired by the cheeriness on some people’s blogs, and to be uplifted by the honesty of yours, and not to feel other people’s lives are always perfect – they’re usually not!
It’s true that you can’t make too many assumptions about people’s lives from their blogs. People who “have everything” are just as likely to be miserable as those of us who don’t, although they may not want to write about those feelings.
Just because somebody doesn’t share everything doesn’t mean their blog is fake though… I prefer not to write about anything too personal because that’s not what blogging is about for me. When I’m going through hard times then I just don’t post anything! For me, although I do have a sense that I’m in a blogging ‘community’, I wouldn’t turn to it in times of personal need (though I understand that others are comfortable to do that). I hope nobody would assume that I’m trying to make my life appear better than it is, or better than others, just because I choose to write about ‘nice’ things.
There are so many blogs to be found, hopefully we can all choose to read those that suit us. FT is a bit different than my normal blog cup-of-tea… but then I don’t think there is anybody else out there quite like you! (in a good way naturally!)
Good points! Just to clarify, there is a LOT I don’t blog about!!!
Wonderfully put FT! I also feel that sometimes it helps to blog about the positive and the blessings in order to help me focus on those items more–if that makes sense. I just wrote you a long comment on a previous post you wrote about career stuff. I’m not sure how Word Press works so wanted to point it out just in case you were advised of it by the system. Hope you’ve been well!
I have a blog that I describe as me sharing the simple joys of life so I try to keep it positive and real. I have however written about some of the darker side of my life on a handful of occasions when I needed to express myself (losing loved ones, debt etc.) but those blog posts met with little comment such that I wasn’t sure that they were being read. Also in one blog post I wrote I was having a difficult time and one of my blog friends said it was a choice to be happy. So am trying to find a balance without straying too far from my blog’s purpose. I am still real. I just choose to focus on something more positive as a break from my chronic illness.
This was a post that needed to be written, and I’m glad you wrote it, FT. Not only have I enjoyed reading your words, but I’ve enjoyed reading the comments from fellow readers, too.
Like Maggie and some others, I too have occasionally read other blogs and thought, “Come on! Can this be real?” And if my initial reaction is frequently this, I move on.
This is also something that is always in the back of my head as I blog: Am I conveying life as it is? Or life as I want it to be?
So many of the other commenters have truthfully stated that what we blog about is usual just a snapshot of one particular aspect of our lives; this, of course, would explain how sometimes our blogs can seem misleading.
I know that I do honestly try to give my readers a sense that life for me is not all golden beaches and lemon trees (with ouzo and dancing off on the side). I do not know if I always succeed, though.
I like Jenni’s comment most. Her words about the reader not seeing the days where you bawl your eyes out? This hit home.
Thank you, FT. And thank you for the opportunity (again) to share.
I too like Maggie have noticed the ‘perfect and charmed life’ some bloggers seem to lead..but then looking at my own blog I never write about my problems and I’m sure other bloggers do the same.
Blogging and reading other blogs is my ‘Happy Place’ ..it almost never fails to cheer me up and make me smile.
Em xx
This is so true! And I find I put extra pressure on myself when it seems everyone has paid off their debts and bought their houses in cash, all while being a stay at home mom. I wonder, why can’t I do that? what is wrong with me? I blog to keep myself motivated, so I write positive stuff to keep me positive. After long hard, unbearable work days, it is nice to read a pleasant blog entry. On the other hand though, I like to keep it real and let people know I am not perfect, I do suffer from anxiety disorder, I do have medical issues, I do have unpleasant moments. And it is nice to read a blog, like yours that says, “yes I have issues, but look how I overcome them.” Truly inspirational! It makes your blog more readable to learn you are human just like me. Thank you for keeping it real.
Very good answer. I agree with you regarding that nobody has the “perfect” life. Once in awhile I’ll write about things I struggle with but most of the time I choose not to dwell on the negative things that happen. I do feel that if I write about some little stuff that have gone wrong, it brings about more negative energy. Whereas if I put it behind me, think positive and look forward to the future, I do not give the “negative things” more of my energy. Hmm… does that even make sense?
you are right, most blogs so seem perfect. But I do not blog about everything that goes on in my life.
If I did you may feel better about your life.