Last night I had a telephone call from a friend who felt she needed to share that she was unsure about my/our upcoming plans, which involve a move and homestead ownership. She instead felt that I should consider a different move, to live closer to a different set of friends that she felt were a better community. I listened closely and decided not to be defensive, because I genuinely believe when it comes to “human” perceptions, there is very little right or wrong and the truth is usually found somewhere in the middle.
The definition of community is:
I think for my friend, her definition of community is to live near people with the same faith, to be able to support each other as needed. Those are very important things, to support one another, to love one another. I did once leave a Church for this very reason, I found they had incredible amount of support for people in certain types of needs (new parents for example) and yet didn’t see that support wasn’t about certain types of need, it was about all need. In their case those facing surgery or sick or shut in were not cared for, to me, that is not true community, it is not showing true love.
- My family, warts and skeletons and all. They are my community!
- My close friend around the corner who is on such an incredible journey and remembers to feed me when I’m in need. She is my community!
- My local cafe, who provide the world’s best hot chocolate, which cures all maladies. They are my community!
- My book group, made up of women from every faith, lifestyle, life choice and orientation. They are my community!
- My swimming group, made of up women 40 years + my senior. They are my community!
- My friends scattered in the UK, who I do not see enough of but they are never far from my heart. They are my community!
- My friends in Canada, from years of living there, friends who could not be more different, and friends who are eerily similar. They are my community!
- My friends in the US, Australia and France. We may be far, but there is no distance too great for love. They are my community!
- The children I cared for, who for a while looked like they’d stay forever, they may live quite far away now and our communication sporadic, but there isn’t a day I don’t pray for them and I’ll never stop caring. They are my community!
- My friend Fitzy who I love dearly and miss fiercely, her and her husband and growing babe in utero. They are my community!
- My friend Michelle, who emails me daily, always ready to drop everything and pray for me or fast for me, ready to encourage me and give me guidance on faith, dating, marriage, life. She is my community!
- My county that I love. It is my community.
- My country that is so special, its history, vibrancy and eccentricities. It is my community!
- The animals I adore. They are my community!
- The people whose blogs I read, whose blogs whisper to my heart. They are my community!
- The readers of this blog, who email and comment and give encouragement just when I need it. You are my community!
- The friends I haven’t met yet. They are my community!
- The people I know who I can talk about my faith with, and share fellowship with. They are my community!
- The places I volunteer, the people I work with and people I support. They are my community!
- Humans, near and far, whether in Haiti on the Congo. They are my community!
- The God I love with my whole heart, body and soul, who sent His son. He is my community!
It is true, that many people who I consider are a part of my community, may not show communityship towards me or others, but one thing I do know in life, is that nothing is static, we are constantly in a state of change and growth. Over the last year as I began to try to demonstrate more love and compassion, by bringing people I know who are shut in meals and offering practical help, I’ve noticed a couple of friends quietly starting to do the same thing, with no pomp or circumstance they began to make lasagna and salads or soups for those who are sick, or alone or in need. I have incredible faith in people and I think that’s a good thing, I think most of us are trying to become better humans, better people, kinder and more compassionate, and sometimes just seeing someone else do something for others, inspires you. Sometimes just one change is all it takes to begin a process that is all together holy and sacred. They may not be perfect, but they are my community and I’m blessed indeed.
Do you have a community? What can you do to support your community?
And the man’s head in the picture? While I slightly wish I had photoshop so I could take it out, I kind of felt the fact he made his way into the picture means he existed, he too was part of my community at that 40′s London dance. So he’s staying! Inclusivity I tell you, inclusivity!
Hi FT
What a great way to look at the meaning of community, that is really inclusive!
I’m pleased to be part of your community, as one of your readers, and pleased that you are part of mine
Cheers
Judy
And I’m pleased you are part of mine! :0)
Not that I’m supporting photoshopping the elderly out of pictures but I just thought I’d mention a free alternative to Photoshop, the GIMP — http://www.gimp.org/
People who are super advanced users of Photoshop usually complain that it doesn’t do everything they need/things are in a different place, but it’s pretty good at a lot of stuff – and it’s completely free!
OOoh thank you Louisa!!!
Oh my gosh this post has me in tears!! I love your community and am proud to be a part of it!! I just love your outlook on life, you really are so different to most, but I don’t think you realize it!!
I didn’t mean to make you cry ;0)
I do have a community, I guess, although I’ve never thought of it like that, but I will from now on. What I do to support my friends and family is visit, phone, take out for coffee when they are in a bad place etc. I could do a lot more though.
I think your blog is also part of my community since it challenges me to be better. What I do is leave comments and then just take away your wisdom!! LOL
Thanks Kathryn! It’s always really good to look around and see who your community is!
Good post ft
Every person on this planet is ‘our community’ and if every person realised this, how simple and peaceful things would be.
Very true! I plan to do a follow up post as a lot of people emailed with questions!
I stumbled across your blog from your comment on Soulemama’s “One Moment” post but am staying because of your philosophy. My family and I are making a big lifechanging move too (for pretty much the same reason as you) and I really agree with your concept of community. As life goes on I find that the more I can give the more I receive and the excitement of building community (not just clinging to the ones I already have) is exciting. I really hope you can accomplish your goals and that your dreams come true.
What a lovely comment, thank you Mel!
Excellent post FT! I enjoy how you balance the knowledge with the practical and are a woman of action and purpose. I would imagine most people think they know what community is but do not live it, just seeing how you comment on other blogs, reply to our questions while growing this blog for a purpose rather than money (so many frugal blogs are simply a tool for their writers to earn) demonstrates the beauty of your community and your values.
I would be interested to read more about what you do and where the rest of us can start, if we too hope to build a community.
Have a good weekend! And thank you again!
I will write a follow up Elizabeth! Thank you for your lovely comment!
This is perhaps the best post I’ve ever read. All I can say is thank you, this post has the power to change people.
Thanks! Your comments are always, very generous!
This is a lovely post. I’m glad that you have such inner strength.
It can be very hard to follow your own path. Many people close to you worry for your wellbeing, but it’s often unfounded. They want to keep you safe. But often they don’t want you to get ahead for their own subconscious reasons.
A lot of people fear change, in their lives and the lives of those around them.
You just have to be quietly effective and carry on!
Agreed Steel, I think it is often people’s perceptions. I do agree with my friend that this is a harder path, but just because something is hard it doesn’t mean it isn’t right. Thanks for the advice! Always reassuring!
Pingback: Friday Night Love « Notes From The Frugal Trenches – A Downshifting Journey
You’re MY community, babe!
I agree with you, a “community” is not bound by geography- it’s the connection you have with others. And your community is spread all over the globe- lucky girl!
AMEN!
Very Interesting. I guess we all have many levels of community but don’t always stop to acknowledge it. “For God loved the world so much that he gave his only-begotten Son, in order that everyone exercising faith in him might not be destroyed but have everlasting life.
So to God their are two types: all those in the world full stop and then all those in the world who exercise faith. We live within the larger world but are closer to those who have the same values. My main community is the worldwide association of Jehovah’s Witnesses where you are treated the same throughout the world. We are not perfect and may even have some problems but overall we are a loving community who help each other out and also endeavour to help our fellow man. Cherrie
That’s lovely Cherrie and very true!
bald men’s heads saved in the name of inclusivity! heh. and yes, hot chocolate really CAN cure, can’t it?
lol that it can!!!
Yep the b-day is March 31st and then Ryan’s April 3 and his mom is March 28th so we’re all in there together and we get to celebrate my nephews official adoption on April 1st! Lots going on that week. Our anniversary is April 28th. So again lots going on.
A lot of couples seem to have their birthdays near each other! Never thought of that before, but loads I know, do!
Hi, I just read your post on CJane, and just wanted to share – I am a member of the Church of Jesus Chris of Latter-day Saints. I am a working woman, married, strong, healthy, and have never had a child in ten years of marriage (not because I don’t want them, and not because I haven’t tried, but I am a happy person and never whine or cry about that fact
).
I know your comment was that “Mormons” don’t help each other when they are sick, in the hospital, or struggling, and I just want to say that I technically should be at the very bottom of anyone’s list for getting help, and out of the blue (I have been very busy with school, managing a household of only two, struggling with a recent diagnosis of hypothyroidism which I told nobody about), I have had people bring me meals – - me, no babies, not poor, not obviously unhealthy, and yet there they were, helping me, just because they felt that they should.
That hasn’t just happened once, but many times, it is like I have an angel looking out for me, whispering in my neighbors’ ears. Just thought I would share. I am so sorry if you have had a different experience, but I also think that all of us, no matter our religion, should look out for each other and listen to the unspoken words and unobvious cries for help.
Hi Anne.
Thank you so much for your comment! Sorry if my post wasn’t clear, but in fact I think one thing the LDS Church does very well is support it’s members through food, love, finances etc. I hope one day I find a Church that does the same (I’m not a Mormon!)
Came to visit after your lovely comment – going to stay and explore – love this post!
Thanks Mousy! Your post is lovely!
Hi, thanks for commenting on my blog! I’m so glad I came over here to see who you are, it looks like I might have a lot to learn from you and your lifestyle.
“Community” for me exists on lots of different levels, and I’m feeling like there are some big holes in it at the moment, but I need to nurture and build on the relationships I have – one step at a time! Starting with lunch with some in-laws tomorrow
SparklePetal xx
So true sparkle, it is one step at a time!
you are amazing. i do not visit your blog enough, but every time i do, i come away with my heart a little more open. you find the true value in life.
community is the family outside of your family. the people whose lives you touch on a daily, weekly basis, and the people who touch your own life. the places where you can find the support you need and where you can give others support who need it.
xoxo
You are too kind Cate!
This is an insightful post, and I think did open a lot of eyes to what community is. Yes, community really can come from so many places. I love and am so grateful for the fact that we can have community with each other, across the sea, through this wonderful thing called the internet. A huge part of our lives is the homeschool community here. We participated in something called night of the arts this week, and in participating I felt we were supporting that community. That night another foster parent did respite for our foster baby, and she is part of my community, and I will be doing respite for her baby in two weeks. A sense of community is something that is so important. I can remember growing up, where we lived, and how we lived, I didn’t have any sense of what community was. Great post!!!
Those are great communities Michelle! Thank you for being part of mine!