I’ve been thinking and praying a lot recently about what it really takes to follow your purpose, your convictions, to really make a difference in the lives of other people, to really leave this earth having made a positive contribution. As I’m catching up with friends, many share they are in a 1/4 life crisis, feeling that they want to contribute more, to do those amazing things like work overseas, or adopt, or just turn their backs on the rat race and instead choose to work somewhere they believe in, work for a charity or an NGO rather than corporate industry. A common theme emerges when I ask they why they can’t, they say they feel trapped by debt, bills, the “need” to own a house and cars, approval from parents and grandparents, and perhaps even the need to be someone (and by someone they meant someone who is seen to have “made it”). One friend shared with me that at 28 she has already accomplished buying a house and car, climbing the ladder professionally, but now she needs the next thing, to save for a second home…I keep thinking about this, about how we define success, how we measure those who’ve made their mark and I have to say, when I think about it, for me it boils down to this:
The highest courage is to dare to be yourself in the face of adversity, choosing right over wrong, ethics over convenience, and truth over popularity. These are the choices that measure your life. Travel the path of integrity without looking back, for there is never a wrong time to do the right thing.
To have the highest courage is not easy, to allow God or whatever you believe in, to put something in your heart, to choose the path of following His (or your conscience, or whoever you believe in) teachings whether that be caring for the poor, volunteering with the elderly, offering your skills to those in need, adoption or fostering, helping the homeless – well it requires living sacrifice, it requires questioning what society defines as “normal” and making your own normal. When I think of people I know who have given up the luxuries we all take for granted, and instead care for the sick in countries with no infrastructure to support their people, when I think of people who’ve said we will do without so we can give, I see an integrity, a grace, a reverence which gives them power, the power to one by one change the world.
Which makes me ask myself…
Do I have power? Do I have integrity? Do I have the courage needed to make real sacrifices for those most in need? Do I have the backbone needed to get off the carousel? Or am I always looking to buy the ticket for the next ride (the second home, the electronic equippment, the early retirement)?
ah yes. so hard not to get drawn into the next thing.
but it is wise even if you can’t resist to know that you are choosing that. I think the feeling of being stuck or trapped is the real enemy. It is a choice. For many it is more of a balancing act. But it is all choices.
It takes even courage to be totally different and obey what GOD wants us to do than what we think we should. Cherrie
Doing God’s will rather than our own makes us stand out as different and opens us up to ridicule by those who think their way is best. But who could know best how to solve all of mankind’s woes than the very one who created them. Cherrie
This is an interesting post. I agree, I believe you can still have a high-powered or long hour job and live a meaningful life, it is difficult though. Society tells us to be a certain way, to fit in a certain box.
Mr Chiots and I own a business and we work long long hours. We make a good wage and we choose to spend this on meaningful things. We buy all local food, support local food systems and invest in local and overseas charities. I also work for a non-profit and I find satisfaction in my work in this area.
We often get snide and negative comments from people we know. Most people that react negatively are doing so because your choices make them feel bad about their choices. They feel threatened by what we choose to do.
I think the big hurdle is getting over what people think of you. If you can do what you feel strongly about without caring what others may think, it is a whole lot easier.
Wonderful post! A similar quote that has stayed with me is, “You will never regret making the ethical decision.”
It can be so, so hard to let go of all those notions and “values” you’ve been taught since you were a young child, so difficult to fashion your own beliefs and ideas about true success. But, on the other hand, it’s completely worth it.
A very timely post. I’ve had one of *those* days when I’m so aware of how much I am out of step with just about everyone else. I was wondering if I was daring to be different just out of sheer bloodimindedness, but no, I think live the way I do because I am allowing myself to be me. And the person that God wants me to be.
Courage is the mantlepiece God polishes for me daily. He keeps hoping I’ll notice it. The more I ignore his work the harder he polishes, LOL. Eventually I’m so awestruck by what he’s done for me, that I start to believe courage has real value in my life. It’s not a token gesture but a great work he’s done to show me.
We need courage no matter what we choose to do in life. Which is why God doesn’t give up polishing for any of us. Even if we don’t see, he doesn’t stop. It’s there if we need it.
Having come from humble beginnings, I understand your friend’s viewpoint (except for the second house part). For most of us, it takes our entire lives to build up enough wealth to live comfortably in a paid for home and have some money socked away for a rainy day.
I often dream about living an even simpler life, but I’m also REALLY REALLY glad that I’ve gotten a head start on financial security. (I’m in my mid 30′s now.)
I also think that as you get older, it becomes harder to live and work as hard as you did when you were in your teens and 20′s. I spent years going to school full time and working full time. I worked 80+ hours/week during summer break. I find it difficult to envision doing that now with 2 kids and a 75 year old mom to care for.
Like anything, it’s a balance. One of my Uni professors was an incredibly interesting guy. He was in his 50′s, still single and spent 25 years travelling the world. He would work a job, save for 2 years, then travel for 2 years. He had such wonderful memories, but he was stressed about having no money for retirement and yearned for a family of his own.
For me, it’s somewhere in between. Work a day job that you don’t hate, save money for the future, but still leave some for today to experience life.
I’m a little concerned about people who think their work problems will be solved by working for a charity. I once did, and although most of the people were lovely, there was a strong hierarchy and a very sneaky and unpleasant boss who threatened her staff with sackings, among other things, if they did not obey her orders. Of course, she was very secretive and clever about it!
I think it’s more about finding what activities you enjoy, rather than working for a charity. After all, you can always donate time and money outside your work if you really want to help. And a great deal of charity work is administrative and bureaucratic, as you’d expect in any organisation.