I think there are many dangerous myths in society, one of the ones I personally feel most worried about is the myth you can do it all! I’m here to say, I simply can’t. Right now I’m in the midst of moving, trying to support friends in very difficult places, trying to keep my home peaceful, trying to find time to job hunt (yes, I’m jobless at the moment and praying something comes up soon), trying to remain healthy (& keep my Dr happy!) by exercising and eating right, trying to cope with a few major setbacks and try to get all that canning done! I’m also knee high in the worst excema I’ve ever suffered, I’m sure partly due to stress, so my back, tummy and lips are itchy and painful and sore! I’ve tried to keep a joyful attitude but the reality is today I failed miserably.
- Cans sit on the side of the kitchen but cupboard space needs to be found to house them
- I have posts ready for you all with news but I can’t find my camera cord to upload the pictures that go with them
- There is a major infestation that has me literally scared to eat, move, sleep (oh the joys of older homes!)
- I had no bed for 10 nights, sleeping on the floor is not good for mental health – thankfully the bed has just arrived
- There are currently no jobs in 1 of the fields I’m qualified to work in, I’ve found a few in my other field but none have closing dates before the end of November, if not mid December, which of course means it is highly unlikely I’ll be working before January
- I have no tv (probably a good thing) and no car (probably not a good thing)
- I’m feeling overwhelmed with a personal situation that somehow I’m involved in although I shouldn’t be and it is causing major stress!
- I’ve realized I’m in just the right place for my long term plans but short term it is very isolating!
So what have I learned through the crying sobs tonight? That I simply can’t do it all, that it is, at times, very difficult to be in a season of being alone and that I need to find a way to rejoice! Tonight I read some scripture that helped me: this is the day that the Lord hath made; rejoice and be glad in it Psalm 118: 24
So I’m determined tomorrow I’ll be choosing happiness, choosing to focus on joy rather than sorrow and hardships and choosing to trust that all will be OK! I’m going to simply admit I can’t do it all and focus only on what I can do almost like a bare bones day plan
So what do I plan to do to make tomorrow a better day?
- Apply for two jobs
- Eat three healthy meals
- Go to the gym
- Go for a walk
- Send an email tying up loose ends
- Fill out forms for final work hours
- Read my Bible and pray
- Do something nice for someone else – I’m thinking I might do a friend’s laundry since I know she is behind and working many hours due to swine flu at the moment!
You know what? An hour ago I was a sobbing mess, now I already feel better! Thanks for listening to my late night ramblings! I do promise all will be back to normal soon!
It’s good to hear some of your news and I hope things improve for you. I wonder why you are moving so much? If you look at the stress tables, moving house is right near the top! So in some sense your body’s reaction is probably normal – lots of stress can send a body out of whack! I know this also from personal experience – constant moves are very unsettling. I do hope you get a chance to settle in one place soon and stay put for a while. Take care and am sending much metta (that’s loving kindness in Buddhism!)
By: angela on November 11, 2009
at 1:15 am
Wow, lots going on. I sure hope your excema goes away really quickly, I know that can be quite painful. Try to take a deep breath and do what you can do and try not to stress about what you cannot control or do. Your day tomorrow sounds very good, try to get some extra rest.
By: Jennifer on November 11, 2009
at 2:19 am
I am sorry that you are having such troubles right now. Keep remembering that “this too shall pass”. A brief time doing some centering meditation, just sitting quietly and being aware of your breathing in and breathing out should help calm you! But I think you are doing well “mustering your wits in your own defense”, FT.
By: thickethouse on November 11, 2009
at 5:17 am
That’s such an awful lot to deal with all at once, but I hope things improve very soon. My standard advice is to be as good to yourself as possible, but it sounds like you already have that covered, so instead I’m sending lots of good thoughts your way and hoping that you can find even more peace and happiness in the midst of all the turmoil.
By: Jenn on November 11, 2009
at 5:48 am
Look after yourself Missy… I’m after something from you on my blog btw! x
By: apieceofwood on November 11, 2009
at 7:00 am
Sending you a big hug.
This one always makes me feel better…
‘Be glad for all God is planning for you.
Be patient in trouble, and prayerful always.’
Romans 12:12
It’s easier for me to be patient in trouble, if I remember that God is planning things for me.
By: kathleen on November 11, 2009
at 7:40 am
You are coping with so many big life changes no wonder you are feeling the effects both mentally and physically. Small daily plans are a great idea so you don’t become overwhelmed. I’m so happy for you that you realise you are where you need to be for the long term plan, but be kind to yourself as what is here and now needs to be dealt with to help get there too.
Take good care.
Lisa x
By: Lisa on November 11, 2009
at 8:13 am
*hug* Things always look worse late at night, so hopefully this morning things will seem brighter for you. I really like your attitude of ‘it sucks, lets see what little things I can do to make it better’. It is what I try to do, but sometimes the pity party is just too comfortable!
Have a blessed day, keep on keeping on and you’ll see glimmers of light before long.
xx
By: Di on November 11, 2009
at 10:11 am
sorry to hear you’re not well, sounds like you have lots of changes happening at the moment.
have you tried bathing in tepid water with oatmeal in a gauze bag, sometimes that helps to get rid of the redness and itching.
take some time to just rest as well, sending good thoughts your way
By: louise on November 11, 2009
at 10:12 am
Oh FT, I’m sorry to hear you’re going through a bad patch. Thankfully most of those things seem to be short-term problems and I know that you’ll be able to resolve them. When you’re in the middle of it all things look so sticky and oppressive, but once you get through the other side you’ll be okay. Life has a way of working out, doesn’t it?
Big hugs xxxxxxxxxxx
p.s. and there’s nothing good on telly at the moment anyway.
By: Kat on November 11, 2009
at 11:06 am
I might be able to give you a hand regarding the infestation – my husband is a specialist. If you want to, drop me an email with the details and I’ll see what I can do.
By: Alice on November 11, 2009
at 3:19 pm
I love your list for tomorrow. Does Scarlett O’hara say at the end of the movie “After all tomorrow is another day”? I have always found that inspiring.
By: Selena on November 11, 2009
at 4:48 pm
you’re right. You cannot do it all. And definitely not all at once.
Someone I know finds that wheat contributes to the eczema. You may have a trigger food also.
By: GC on November 11, 2009
at 5:02 pm
I held my breath all the way through your post and then let go when you said you were in the right place for your long term plans.
I wish you every strength in getting through where you are now to a place that seems a little nearer to where you are heading.
By: Sally on November 11, 2009
at 6:43 pm
have a hug, FT! virtual and via the internet, i’m afraid, sometimes the actual doing is so hard – in time when you can sit back and relax and see what you’ve *done* it will be great.
also, i am desperate to hear more about your change in circumstances! new house? new job prospects? details, details!
but in the meantime take it easy and relax!
xx
By: rachel on November 11, 2009
at 7:36 pm
Like everyone else, I am sorry to hear you are having such a hard time with everything.
You always manage to show such a postitive outlook on life, it really is amazing and inspiring.
But you are not superwoman and sometimes you do have to just let it all go with sheer frustration.
Take care of yourself. May I recommend your exercise is walking in the beautiful countryside tomorrow?
And on days like this I always think writing get out of bed, get dressed is a fantastic way to make yourself feel positive – you can cross 2 things off the list straight away!!
Jen
By: darkpurplemoon on November 11, 2009
at 8:07 pm
“…and choosing to trust that all will be OK”"
These are the key words … trust that all will be well … it will.
xx
By: Dancing on a Blade of Grass on November 11, 2009
at 8:38 pm
oh sweetie, when there are big upheavals there is always a moment of IT IS ALL TOO MUCH!!! it will be ok. And the best thing to do sometimes is acknowledge that overwhelmed feeling and let it go, which it seems you are doing. When things are really too much, I listen to the REM song, Everybody Hurts. It is such a reminder that every one every where sometimes feels like this. And it is oK. It does go. And often trying to fight that feeling is more stressfull than allowing it, sitting in it a bit and letting it run out its course. The other side is when you pick yourself up and get going again. I would say spend a day doing bugger all. But sometimes life does not let this happen, so try one step at a time, keep going, keep going, one step at a time…… So looking forward to hearing about the whole move thing! oops, no pressure!
By: mo on November 11, 2009
at 8:56 pm
Everyone has days like that. Good luck with everything.
By: Jennifer on November 11, 2009
at 6:01 pm
So sorry you’re feeling overwhelmed. It is tough when we’re told from every side that we can do it all and we should.
I struggle with knowing when to say no and when to let things not get done or not be done as perfectly as I could do them simply for lack of time. Learning to love “good enough” is tough but a good lesson to learn!
I hope things start slowing down for you and that you find a job!
By: Chiot's Run on November 12, 2009
at 9:21 am
Sometimes we all need a breakdown to help ourselves see another perspective and make a fresh start. Thank you for sharing your bad times as well as good; it keeps your blog authentic and allows us to offer support. If you need a shoulder you can always come to me
Good luck with all of that; my fingers are crossed for you.
~Rose.
By: celestial dragonfly on November 14, 2009
at 5:10 am
I’m a few days late in replying to this post, but maybe it’s just the right time?
God moved in my eyes recently, to show me something similiar. It’s not that I can’t do it all, I just can’t do it all my way, LOL. Sometimes when I see parts of my veg patch dying, despite all my attempts to intervene, and then nothing else in my life goes to plan – the result can sometimes be wanting to curl into a ball and hide away.
But then God showed me there’s a time for plants to die and for rain to dry up. It *is* part of the equation, just as my plans are too. But we don’t always get to see them play out the way we’d feel comfortable with, hey.
Only God can bring forth life from where there was none before. We can only let go of a hopeless situation to receive new life. It’s not easy though and I’m as human as the rest, especially when it comes to physical ailments. I don’t like feeling debilitated when I want to get things done.
Gosh, and I don’t always know the way to proceed forwards either. Which way do you look when everything in your life involves depletion or disappointment of some sort? Hardly celebration worthy, LOL.
But that’s where belief in God comforts me. I know he has all the important stuff accounted for and it’s not all about me. He accounts for everyone. What strength of judgement hey. On my own I know I couldn’t handle that kind of responsibility, so maybe it’s okay to let God intervene where he will and where he won’t.
Remember what comes your way in the future, or not, has importance some where to some one. God has it accounted for. Blessings.
By: Chris on November 15, 2009
at 9:20 pm