I get so many emails asking me how I do it all with a “good attitude” and the reality is that I don’t, it is a constant battle to have a joyful serving heart! Over the last couple of weeks I’ve seen myself allow exhaustion and feelings of being worn out creep in! I’ve wanted to blog about just how much I have to do in the next month (moving house, a gnat infestation in our home (I have just shy of 100 bites!!!), a huge trip, a passport in need of renewing, two work projects, major car worries, two employers not paying me (for work backdating to November!), continuing struggles with BT, major restructuring needed in the youth group I run, trying to write policies for organizations unable to pay for policy development, not to mention the creche rota, day to day work duties, blogging and friends needing support!!!). At the same time I worry about how to save up enough to do some voluntary work abroad, things I could be doing to help others that seem so far off! I’ve wanted to whine & complain and get sympathy and moan about how much more I could be doing, only none of those things get me anywhere and in fact waste time better spent doing something!
I do not agree with the sentiment that I do more than most – to me that smacks the mentality of being able to bow out because you’ve done something. For me, if there are lonely people, starving people, people in need then we all need to look at how we can re-arrange things to do more, look around and try to do more little things, or help/encourage others to get involved etc. Today I decided to take the time to chat to a great friend of mine who does nursing missionary work in Africa. I was explaining my worries & anxieties and how I feel so overwhelmed at all the mundane things I need to do which prevent me from doing more, she listened and then gave me the best advice possible, she told me to focus on all that I can do today. As soon as her words were out I felt at peace. I only need to worry about what I can accomplish today, how I can help someone today, how I can save more today. So today I can send email reminders to this weeks creche team, write an email chasing the payment to HR, get my work done (split into small chunks), make my kitchen clean & tidy, go for a walk, print off the forms for the passport renewal and book my train ticket to London. I can continue to look around at those around me in need and save some pennies to go to China. All those things may be small, but they get what needs to be done done without feeling overwhelmed, without thinking I have to tackle 15 things at once, without worrying about how much more that needs to be done. I’m learning that instead of striving to be the a better person all the time, I can focus on being the best person I can be today, knowing that it will make it easier tomorrow – all because of what I accomplish & learn today. I feel a great deal of peace about it all now and that is a good feeling. Oh and I guess I should admit having a clean kitchen makes a lot of my stress evaporate! Might work for you too! :)
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own“ Matthew 6:34