A lot of frugal bloggers are writing about Christmas, or I guess more to the point they are writing about how to get financially ready for Christmas, what to start buying and when and how. Last year I returned from a trip just before Christmas, it was a long trip which I didn’t blog about at the time for privacy reasons, it involved spending a couple of weeks with hurting, grieving children, in a country where there were no services, where there is no help and in truth I totally forgot what time of year it was. I arrived home late night December 23rd with not a preparation in site, well aware that Christmas was only just over a day away.
A month prior I had met a family newly arrived from Africa who didn’t have any family in the UK. I asked them what they were doing for Christmas and they said they had no plans as they didn’t know anyone. I almost forgot I had invited them to spend Christmas with me.
On December 24th I woke up and managed to scrape together some basic homemade goods, I think I managed Christmas biscuits, homemade mince pies and my famous homemade brandy truffles, barely enough for Christmas dinner & to split up between little gift boxes I planned to anonymously deliver to people I knew. I quietly set out to buy just a few things – a new top for my mum, a voucher so she could have a meal out with friends and a subscription to her favourite magazine, I bought a few practical things for the family newly arrived from Africa and came home. I quickly traveled home, made some donations to my favourite charities and left for Church. There I saw a woman with children I know who also wasn’t spending time with family and invited them too. In the back of my mind I was seriously worried about how much food I had, I had horrific jetlag and a wicked headache but trusted that somehow we’d make it though the day even if we resorted to bread and butter. After Church I chatted to my mum who told me she’d invited a few widows (some she knew, some she had only just met, one who was bringing her sons (!!!)) who had no one to celebrate with. I began praying.
I’m ashamed to admit I thought for quite a few hours that I’d made a mistake. I began dropping off some baked goods to friends, widows, neighbours and people I knew within my city and finished off the evening with a few Christian friends for prayer. When I told them my Christmas plans they told me they thought I was mad to invite these people, that Christmas was for family not inviting people who might as well be strangers. For a moment, I agreed with them, I worried about what on earth I’d done.When the doorbell rang and people started coming into my teeny tiny lounge their words echo’d, part of me didn’t even want to open the door, the jetlag the exhaustion with such an emotionally heart wrenching 3 week trip made me want to focus on myself, made me want to simply relax and do what all those magazines call “me time”. But open the door I did.
The celebration lasted for hours, people chatted, children played, food was eaten, songs were sung, a walk was enjoyed, not everyone made it but there were enough people there for a great deal of enjoyment. Everyone talked about abundance, particularly when it came to the food. All that time I had spent worrying I had forgotten perspective. The reality was there was an abundance of food and an abundance of blessings.
My friends still think it is very strange when they remember what I did last Christmas. It might be strange, but isn’t strange sometimes good? I know I’ve spent Christmas, Easter & Thanksgiving alone (when I was in North America) and wished that any of my friends would welcome me into their homes however strange that might seem. But you know in the end it wasn’t strange, we were brought together to celebrate a day of love, we were brought together to celebrate a birth, we were brought together to celebrate fellowship and there’s nothing strange about that.
So right now, for the fleeting moment I think about Christmas (it really is fleeting because Christmas really is simple) I think about abundance, not an abundance of food or an abundance of presents or the abundance of money I’ll have to put away, but an abundance of love; love for those we know and those we don’t, love for people who share our faith and those who don’t. My only real plan for Christmas this year is to find people in need & help them, because really that is what it is all about. They may not need a barn and a manger, but they may need your love.
My other resolve is for it to not take 9 months to appreciate a blessing, because this past Christmas I think I was blessed far more than anyone who celebrated in my home and it has taken me almost 9 months to appreciate it!
My new post is up at the writer’s co-op I’m in!
This sounds just like you, gathering the waifs & strays for Christmas. It’s a very natural instinct if you are the kind of person who thinks what it must feel like to be alone at Christmas, and you obviously have had that experience yourself. And you also appreciated the blessings that came your way as a result.
What I find so shocking is the reaction of your church friends. Hmm………., says a lot about them.
Wow, definitely a refreshing outlook, i too have been one of the people thinking about xmas (mostly because the last 3 have been such a mad last minute rush and times of a lot of personal/family dramas) but I am taking some of your medicine and although still going ahead with planning and forethought, i will be bearing in mind the abundance of blessings and food we can easily have already without so much rush, fuss and over-exposure, the simpler things are definitely the best, and reaching out more to others is a lesson i always take away from my visits here, you truly are a naturally caring & generous person x
I’m replying a lot this week… sorry =)
I’ve spent the last two Thanksgivings with friends instead of families because of work (I work in the theatre bussiness and the two days off we got for Thanksgiving just wasn’t enough for any of us to make the 10 + hour trips home. We’d get the day before and the of off and had to be at work promptly at 10 am until midnight the next day). Everyone I worked with who couldn’t go home got together at my bosses house and had a huge Thanksgiving potluck.
I believe the holidays are about sharing what you have with others, no matter what their relation to you is.
This year I don’t have that schedule and could travel home to be with my folks, but instead I’m going to stay where I am with my husband and have already started inviting who ever might be stuck in our valley away from their families to our house for the day, to share something that was so important to me for the last couple of years.
People have been so receptive to the idea that even though some are going to be gone for Thanksgiving, they now want to plan an extra Thanksgiving before the fact just to celebrate with us and our friends. I might add that these people, who want to make an extra holiday, are people we’ve only just met since we moved across the U.S. in January.
I’ve never hosted something like this before, but am thinking if it goes well I’m going to do the same for Christmas!
I was nodding and smiling all through your post. I spent one Christmas away from my family while I was far away in grad school and couldn’t afford the travel costs to get home. Really, it was like you described-some friends and classmates who were also stuck in the city unable to afford to go home, some neighbours we didn’t know well, but knew they didn’t have anyone else to celebrate with locally etc. We were a rag-tag group, but we made it a great day. I was fretting about cooking the dinner, as I hadn’t cooked a holiday meal on my own before, but it turned out fine, and gave me lots to think about instead of missing my own family too much. You’re so wise to see such a day as a blessing-it really was for us too.Thanks for the reminder!
Beautiful, beautiful post.
the fact that you did appreciate is all that matters. this is a wonderful reminder, even for those of us who are simplifying (by homemade gifts, etc.) that it’s not always about material gifts … but rather the gifts of the heart, which of course are most precious.
you are a continual inspiration for my own life. many blessings to you, dear FT!!
Such a wonderful post! Thank you. I need things like this to remind of what the important things truly are.
I’ll be sure to bookmark this so I can reread it in December… or next month, or next week even, because everyday should be like the Christmas you describe, an abundance of love.
I forgot to say that that is one very handsome snowman you’ve got there! Brought a smile to my face.
Did you make it with your Christmas guests?
I love that you had a Christmas gathering of “waifs and strays” as Stella says. It’s more true to the spirit of Christmas than many a traditional celebration. I hope you have the opportunity to do something like it again.
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That sounds like a wonderful Christmas, and definitely more in the spirit of Christmas than many of the events and traditions than are commonly celebrated. I love the idea of having a varied group of people getting together like you described, especially for those who don’t have family close by to celebrate with.
That’s beautiful. You have so much warmth in your heart. And its great that it was joy and new found friends to make a wonderful Christmas.
Heart of gold, I say. I bet those families are quite thankful for a lifetime for the gratitude you showed them.
I’m not sure if you read my post about what happened last Christmas on my blog, but I so wanted to help someone last Christmas, as I was trying so hard to get away from all the consumerism, presents, Santa, busyness, and the Lord knew! I was working one day, and the mother of a boy I had on my caseload shared that they had just had thier aparment broken into and everything was stolen. Everything…even their shampoo, and canned goods. She definately came to the right place at the right time…God knew…and I was so blessed to be able to help her and her family. I put an email out to my coworkers, and invited them to help if they wanted, and said I would be coming in to pick up things on Dec. 24th. I never heard from anyone. On the 24th, I loaded my daughters up, and a carload of food and gifts we had put together. We stopped by my workplace, just in case. When I walked into my office and saw my desk, I was shocked! I couldn’t even see my computer, or chair! It was covered in presents, on top, under the desk, on the floor. Bags upon bags of food, household supplies, and beautifully wrapped gifts. My co workers all pitched in and I got to deliver all of it to this very special family. They were so happy, and my heart was full. After the holidays, the card this mother gave me was filled with the most sincere, kind words. I don’t remember what I unwrapped last Christmas, but I will always remember this family.
Wow, what a fulfilling Christmas that you had. I’m sure you and your new friends had more fun and good memories than many who spent it with family.