Over the last 5 days I’ve thought a lot about life being a full circle – starting off our lives with such grace, innocence, love (for anyone who will give food/cuddle/comfort) and then somehow we get lost, we begin to learn from society to think of things like money, buildings instead of people and stuff instead of time with others. We get higher paying jobs that take us away from our families, sacrificing now for later. We stop smiling and being joyous because someone cuddles us, plays with us, spends time with us and instead reserve our smiles and joy for accumulation of money & things or for only those we care about. I’ve thought a lot about self-actualization, about being ready to die, about a legacy, about why good people die. And my conclusion is: if you can die having come full circle – reverted back to simple joy from others, from people instead of things, from salvation instead of self then you really have, no matter what age you are, lived your life and accomplished grace. What a blessing that is indeed.
And to help out the family in this difficult time I’ve been spending time with baby toes and feeling such peace and joy in watching a little ones eyes light up simply because you carry them around a room, simply because you sing with them, dance with them and read with them. It is like watching living grace and faith, right here on earth. It is like holding the purpose of life in your fingertips and however ill equipped I feel, I see my destiny.
As I came to think about what happens when children lose a parent in the western world, I was able to see that for the most part, we have another parent or friend/family that can become guardians. Usually there is some money for the future, a system in place this is just not so in other parts of the world where the loss of 1 parent condemns a child to a life in an orphanage (at best because often children simply starve to death on the street), gone are thoughts about how the child is emotionally, instead it is about survival in it’s most primal form. I used to think that my dad dying when I was so young paved the way for a life off loss, in many ways now I see just how insular that was, how self-absorbed, how self-obsessed. My dad’s death actually made me aware of loss, that awareness and empathy can call one into action, it is calling me into action.
“…rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope and hope does not disappoint us…” (Romans 1: 3-5)
So today I begin with a new jar, a path I’m determined will be reached, a path to motherhood. A jar will now hold all the loose change, my work will hold new purpose, each penny a step closer to adopting a child who has lost their parent(s), to seeing the miracle of life continue full circle is the greatest joy, it is living faith, it is living love. There may be £30,000 (approx $50,000) between me and my future children – I may hope for a husband to come first and children to follow, but I know it will happen, with the Lord’s help I’ll never really be alone, with the Lord’s help I can make sure a child isn’t alone. I’m not sure where my child(ren) will come from, it could be Africa, Asia or Europe, 1/2 the world away or in the next town, it could be an 8 year old or an adopted embryo, but I know I’ll keep praying for open doors, for the chance to care for an orphan, for a chance to be mum to a child in need of a mum. I had always planned for the friend that died to be my future children’s godfather, instead now they’ll have his name as their middle name. A great legacy to be passed on.
I found these quotes so very comforting this weekend and thought I’d share them with you friends.
Spread love everywhere you go: first of all
in your own house. Give love to your children,
to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor…
Let no one ever come to you without leaving better
and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness;
kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in
your smile, kindness in your warm greeting….Mother Teresa
“But store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal” Matthew 6:20
Once our eyes are opened we cannot pretend we do not know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls knows we know and holds us responsible to act. Proverbs 24:12
Have you been called to act? Can you turn a loss into a gain? To mother or father an orphan? To care for someone in distress? To show love to someone who really needs it? To make a meal for someone who is on their own? To buy groceries for someone in a tight financial situation? Maybe you too could consider acting?
And if anyone has any hot tips on how to save £30,000, I’m all ears 
What a blessing to use your past suffering to reach out to others! I think that you are living a purposeful life–glorifying God and enjoying Him.
you would also make a great vicar! just a thought.
Can’t offer any info on international adoption, but if you would like to know anything about the procedures here just ask!
Lisa x
I think local adoption would be easier. You could be a foster parent – I’m not sure how it works there but here ( USA) if you are a foster parent to children then there is more of a chance you can actually adopt the children you foster
As for the savings, every evening you come home empty your loose change in the jar. Do you have any insurance that will help with adoption? I think we may but I’m not sure.
We’re still struggling with trying but going to doctors so that’s helpful.
Fabulous post FT. I’m amazed at your generous nature and kindness you seem to show in all situations. I second what Mo says.
You have had some rough times lately, my dear. I went home recently for our nephew’s wedding…only to have our aunt die the morning we got there. And that weekend, we also went to a cousin’s high school graduation. A birth would have made the circle complete!
Have you thought about adopting a child right now — through a group like Compassion? ( http://www.compassion.com ) We have two sons — one from Africa, one from Brazil — we treasure. And it gives you the chance to do something now while you’re working toward your long-term goal.
Take care. You have become a friend.
Good for you, FT. I’m sure you will find a way. I’m adopted and my first adopted father died when I was in kindergarten and my mother remarried when I was seven and I was adopted again. Adopting can be a challenge, but it is a good thing to do, and so many children need a loving home. I wish you the best of luck.
I’m so proud of you for making this decision.
I have no doubt a child coming into your life will be very blessed and loved.
I wish I had some suggestions for you.
I will pray that God bring this child to you and helps you find the way to the child(ren).
xox Melanie
We adopted 3 kids with special needs. First we fostered. In 6 years we fostered 23 children, 2 of whom we adopted. Our third child was in another foster home. We never regretted going this way. It didn’t cost us any $$ to adopt our 3 precious children in Canada. Is there a way for you to adopt in your country.
You won’t ever regret adopting. I can’t imagine our lives without our 3 adopted kids and our 3 biological kidsl. Life is good!!
i, too, have thought about adopting children within the next 10 years (age 29-39) if i’m not in an “ideal” (says who? lol) situation to have children. as long as you are financially stable and have a wonderful support network of friends and family around you, i say, go for it!! the world has many many children who need to be loved and cared for. heck, i might adopt even if i do have my own!
the way i see it, i want children more than i crave a husband, anyway … i can tell my child, if necessary, “i wanted you so badly, but i just haven’t found the right daddy yet.” hopefully he’d come along at a future date, but if not … well, i think it’s very possible to raise a child, with good male role models around him/her, by yourself. for sure.
thankyou for this post – things you said about coming full circle click with my own thoughts at the moment…and this:
Once our eyes are opened we cannot pretend we do not know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls knows we know and holds us responsible to act. Proverbs 24:12
is an amazing challenge, and beautifully written – what translation is it from? (not NIV, i just checked
good luck in achieving your goal. beginning is the main thing. i will pray for you! xx
What a lovely post!
Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might/heart. Ecc 9:10
May God bless as you follow your heart to serve him.
Pingback: Getting rid of a sense of entitlement…. « Notes From The Frugal Trenches – A Downshifting Journey
Please don’t wait until you have £30,000 before you adopt a child. There will certainly be many children very much in need of fostering or adoption, though your own local authority. They would each have something unique to contribute to your life, and you could make a fundamental difference to theirs. ‘Life is what happens when you’ve made other plans’ – so just go for it now and contact your local fostering and adoption services. I wish you every success.