My latest post up at the Simple, Green & Frugal Co-op has made me think greatly about my new life. I think for many many years I’ve not wished my life on anyone, not because it was particularly tumultuous, but because I felt I had less than most people I knew. Most of my friends were from wealthy families, so had houses bought or inherited at a young age. All of my friends still have two parents, whereas I lost one of mine at a young age, all of my friends have siblings and I’m an only, most of my friends seem to always have a man on the go, whereas I’m very selective (not due to finances or what our society deems as a good catch)…I guess from a young age I felt loss, I lived loss.
And now I’m here. I haven’t gained a father, or siblings, or a husband or a house. But I’ve gained contentment. I don’t believe this is found by something big entering your life – a person, or a windfall of money etc, I genuninely believe it is gained through small changes both internal and external. I believe it is found when you have the time to contemplate, reflect, pray, appreciate and serve. I believe it is found when you have time, which ultimately has allowed me to find peace.
Instead of rushing around making money, I start each day hoping and praying for a restful and peaceful day where I limit the demands on myself but serve wholeheartedly, work with discipline and balance and accomplish only what needs to be accomplished. I work very hard to not feel guilt (something I’ve always struggled with) and specifically pray to let go of guilt. I am honest about how much time I have and carefully consider anything before I take it on. People on the outside ask me now how I accomplish so much – I volunteer two nights a week and a day at the weekend, I have freelance projects, I’m working hard on my fitness levels at the moment (remember those fitness goals I set long ago?) and training 2 -3 hours a day, I’m studying for my certificate in theology. In truth, yes some things slide this blog has certainly taken a beating ;0) but in reality the only way I accomplish so much is that I now come from a place of rest.
What does it mean to come from a place of rest? Well I think it is different for everyone. For me this means that each day I try to ensure that I’m not still trying to recover from the day before, which when I was working 80 hour weeks was what I was trying to accomplish but failing miserably at. Now I begin each day with a healthy breakfast and exercise for an hour as well as prayer time. There are often urgent emails regarding work that should be addressed, but the way I see it, my body, mind & soul need me more than work does. So, this first 2 hours in the morning is me time. When I’m ready to begin I prioritize what the key things to accomplish that day and only focus on those. Yes some days they need to change, but mostly I can stick to it.
Once I’ve been working a few hours it becomes me time again. Previous dashes to a sandwich shop or salad bar, eating lunch working or checking personal emails are gone. Now, I need some time for me. I make a healthy well balanced lunch – dairy, protein, veg, fruit enjoy some water and then head out to exercise again. An hour later I will begin work again. Even when it would be easier to work through, I remind myself that my body/mind/soul is more important than work and most days it really is possible to take a lunch break.
I’ll then work again. Sometimes only a few hours, sometimes I may have to work later than I hope. But two exercise sessions, good food, prayer and rest means I can do it without exhausting myself. Two evenings a week I go and volunteer, one evening a week I’m on my study course and the rest are a mix of me time – walks along Exeter Quay or time with friends. Before when I tried to volunteer, I was often unable to make it – work commitments, last minute crisis etc. Those thing still happen but they are no longer able to interfere with my time of serving or me time. They are simply not important enough.
Does this mean I have to settle for a less demanding job with a smaller salary? No. I don’t settle at all. It means I have the joy of a more simplified work load, the joy of being able to offer to spend a day at the hospital with a friend having surgery, the joy of being able to volunteer when situations arise and an extra pair of hands are needed. It means I have the joy of being able to take opportunity to volunteer overseas (more on this later!).
So what do I wish? Well I wish that every single person reading this, that every friend I have could know the joy of simple living, could know the joy of working to live rather than living to work. I wish they could all know the joy I feel right now on this Monday morning starting my day of work rested. It is the greatest feeling in the world.
“still tying to recover from the day before”…hmm…I never noticed that! I think that is what many people do! Today is Monday and I awoke with a fresh spirit for the week in all its many possibilities. A good way to awaken.
The only way to awaken ;0)
see – sorted lady!
hmmm. have more to say. bringing the holiday feeling into your everyday life???? I have read a couple of posts today including yours which has reminded me that I should take some time to be still, just be and listen. I have been under the weather for a while, and filling my time with business, trying to ‘get stuff done’ and yet feeling disatisfied with my progress or lack thereof. So starting tomorrow I am going to take some time to meditate and just be. And listen to what comes up.
Hope it is going well Mo!
It’s good to hear you are enjoying your new way of life. Well done for making it happen!
Thanks Shoestring!
I’d like to see a budget posted, while the idea of a simple life is appealing, alot of people don’t have the where withall to do that. With mortgages, car payments kids etc.
btw I did follow your jouney so I know there is more too it than just being debt free etc
Rob, it’s a good point. On the coop I’ve shared tips for starting no matter what your family size. I’ll share some here to, eventually ;0)
Great post! I too have chosen to work less (thus earning less in the process) but I am so much happier than when I worked those super long hours for the big bucks. I’m so glad you are at that point too!! It’s a great feeling
Well done you Canadian Saver. I’d never go back either!
I thoroughly enjoyed your post at Coop. It is a process… but all part of the journey to be learned and loved.
robinmadrid is right… no everyone can venture straight into this type of life. Especially if you have a family. How to?
Well, its definitely going to take more planning. But, its a choice that needs to be made within the family. Because its a lifestyle change. A big lifestyle change. But, I think one well worth it!
How to with a family? Do the kids really need dance lessons? Can you buy somewhere else that is cheaper? Can you cut down on the conveinence food? Can you watch movies at the park or rent from the library?
It’s a lot of personal choices. You just need to make a plan and really think outside the box!
Oh ya, I finally have a plan to achieve claiming my life!
lovely post….
I enjoyed reading this, thank you. I’ve realised recently that I have been living life too fast, trying to get too much done and squeeze too much in. I’m trying to slow down and take time to eat and rest properly too, so it was interesting to read how you structure your day.
You are a great breath of sanity in the too much chaos of our world just now! May you live long and prosper!
Have tagged you today!
Oooh I’ll go look now!
Now de-jet-lagged so need to catch up with your blog.
Happy days!!
You are as ever a very inspiring person! My journey is similar in that illness gave me the time to smell the roses and to appreciate all that I have. I am at peace now in my heart and that is worth so much isn’t it!
Frugal Trenches – I can really relate to this post – i have been dealing with loss and grief for most of my life, I too lost my father when young, I do have siblings but they are absent, people i have cared about have come and gone, relations with my mother are strained, it leaves me with a sense of great loss.
Dreamer – I can so relate, these things make you feel such terrible loss especially when others have lost little. But take heart, there are other people in your situatuion, people who understand just how you feel. Feel free to email!
((hugs))
You’re a reason I follow blogs. Loved “What I wish”. I’ve learned this lesson in the last few years and am trying to master it as an art, daily. Refreshing is your open window we look through.
Amicalement!
It’s wonderful that you have such a great work-life balance at the moment and are looking after yourself so well. I hope that you finished the first freelance project successfully.
I’ve just caught up with your blog as I’ve had a lot of unexpected work recently. I’m not complaining but it has meant that I have had little time for much else!
Best wishes,
Roz
Ah, I miss your more frequent posts here so much. So many of the people whose blogs inspired me seem to be wearing down these days and just not posting. I wish you well in your life, FT.
I hope you’re doing ok Frugal Trenches and that we’ll see you back blogging soon!
How was the meet up?
Am really missing reading your blog. Hoping all is ok with you. I’ve been faithfully reading your blog for over a year now and can’t believe how lost I feel without your words of wisdom. Write soon.
This post is so inspiring. I’m so glad you are working on “theology” along with the many other things you are doing. I’m off this summer as a sub teacher. Hubby and I have been enjoying many new adventures of finding country drives in Western, Ky that we never knew existed. This has been wonderful for both of us. I’m so glad you are no longer working those 80 hour weeks. I think you are correct in writing that one has to recover each day from such a beating. God bless you!
Nichole – sooo glad your husband is OK and you are enjoying time together!
Missing your posts a great deal. Hope all is well with you.
Your blog is amazing and so inspiring. I too work with young people, young hard to reach young people and work most evenings and weekends, feeling guilty if I am not working and regularly off work with flu and completely exhausted!! A friend recommended I read your blog and I am so glad I did. High blood pressure, anaemia, running around like a headless chicken – something has got to change and for some time now I have been promising myself a slower, more organised and healthy lifestyle. I seem to have so much to do, want to make so much of a difference, yet at the expense of my health, my friends and my social life. Perhaps you would consider `mentoring` such a crazed out loon pot and hand hold the slowing down process.
It really is about small steps. I’m happy to answer any questions you have.
Take care of yourself, it really is the first step.
((hugs))
All I can say is “wow”. What a wonderful sentiment, what a wonderful place to be!
I hope to be there soon enough. That place of peaceful coexistence with my own life.
Thank you for sharing that!
I believe one of the biggest enemies of simple living is peer pressure. We just have to overcome it and live the life we want.
I know sometimes it’s hard for people around us to understand why we opt to quick a job that comes with good salary and perks. They might not even understand even we try to reason with them. For me, it’s our life and it’s our choice. Once a good decision is made, we must not look back and regret just because someone disapprove it. We live our ourselves and chase our own dreams.