World Aids Orphan Day!

Everyone who reads this blog knows that I have a great affinity for orphans. I find it sickening that people are happy to throw stones about the rights and wrongs of intercountry & trans-racial adoptions, when there are over 136 million children in the world who are orphans! Life for these children is grim, while I believe every single child deserves a forever family, I see people make statements about why we should “care for our own backyard first” and I think they really don’t get it.

These children face:

:: Life in an orphanage – this alone puts them at incredible risk of abuse, some orphanages practice lock in at night meaning a security guard or no one is left with the children for 8, 10, 12 hrs overnight. Can you imagine what happens to some of these children at night?

::The children don’t have access to basic medications like antibiotics, this means that they are much more likely to die from very simple common childhood illness’, become deaf due to recurrent ear infections, become delayed due to minor physical challenges which with physio therapy wouldn’t even be a challenge.

::The children are forced to leave when they become too old, this could be age 8, 10, 12 depending on the country – they don’t leave to go to loving families, it is a known fact that certain kinds of men are waiting for children when they leave the orphanages. Yet we do nothing, but if this is what awaited out 8, 10, 12 year olds, if they were kicked out of foster care, there would be public outrage. Yet we allow 8 year old children, sometimes even younger, to be kicked out of an orphanage with only the clothes on their backs and face a life (if you can call it that) of forced sex-working, rape, abuse, torture.

:: They often get no education, no services, no days spent at the park, what kind of childhood is that?

Number of AIDS Orphans from Worlds Aids Orphans Website

  • There are over 15 million children orphaned by AIDS around the world.
  • Well over 12 million AIDS orphans live in Sub-Saharan Africa, alone.
  • Experts believe that millions more orphans remain unaccounted for in India, China and Russia.
  • At least 10 million more children will be orphans by AIDS by 2010.

I do not believe ANY child is less deserving of the basic things, no matter what their skin colour or country of birth. All children deserve a family and it would only take less than 1% of safe people to adopt to stop there being orphans in the world. Shocking really how much attention people will give swine flu, the economy, sports, celebrities – and yet the fact that thousands of babies die simply because they are living in an orphanage doesn’t even register as something that is newsworthy.

So what can we all do?

:: Sponsor a child/family – this is seriously so basic and yet changes the lives of families, prevents children having to live in an orphanage, gives families education, services, immunizations. For £18 (about $35) a month you can literally change lives. I honestly believe that the vast majority of people in the Western World can afford to sponsor a child. Check out World Vision and look at what you can cut out in order to give more! 

::Sponsor a child with HIV living in an orphanage – this will give them increased care, help provide medications, education, services, clothing and good quality caregivers.

:: Adopt – Yes it takes time, energy and resources. But so does maintaining a car and we all seem to see that as a pretty normal thing. No I’m not comparing adoption to having a car. What I am saying is that people will often say they can’t afford to adopt, yet they’ll spend £15,000 + on a car. We need to change how we view children & families. Children from all over the UK and all over the world need adopting. I don’t believe adoption should only be for those people who can’t have biological children, I believe adoption is a very good choice for building families for anyone with or without biological children, married or single, people who are 25 and people who are 45. Yes there are at times unique challenges, but you know there can also be unique challenges with biological children.  Yes trans-racial adoption may mean you family stands out more, but there is no evidence that those children don’t do just as well.

::Help someone else adopt – if you really feel that for some reason you can’t (although please challenge that view), then if you know someone else who is embarking on this journey, help them raise funds, contribute to their adoption needs, have a carboot sale and give them the earnings, get creative!

:: Prevent HIV – I honestly think we are in a ticking time bomb when it comes to HIV & AIDS. Today figures were released in the UK that we have more diagnosis in the last year than any other country in Western Europe. I’m amazed and very very saddened by the number of my friends who make very poor sexual health choices, people who should know better. I honestly don’t know what to say when friends  don’t use condoms and have to yet again have another AIDS test. People view these tests as a clean bill of health, but then make risky decisions again.

:: Challenge ignorance! I recently had someone say to me in a meeting that a child is better off in an orphanage and/or better off in care rather than being adopted. I could of just let the comment slide, but I decided that while I may never change his views, maybe someone else listening might think about the facts. So I presented a few facts that show how well children do when adopted (in a timely fashion) by adoptive parents who are educated about the challenges, what life is like for children in orphanages, what life is like for a child that has no family. I definitely didn’t change this mans view, but another person there told me that I really changed their view, that they hadn’t really thought about it before but how can a child succeed if they don’t have the most basic thing – a family?

:: Teach your children & family about adoption – one of the biggest challenges for adopted children is that other children often make statements like “my mummy told me that your mummy isn’t your real mummy”. How hurtful and unkind. We need to as a society begin to accept adoption as a valid norm, we need to make our children whether they are 2 or 22 understand that family is who loves each other, that adoption is a great way to build a family! We need to stop using unkind language (real, natural etc), teachers need to check their wording and be inclusive of all types of families and we need to examine whether our words could hurt. Here is a great sample of positive adoption language!

I’ll leave you with a comment by Hugh Jackman

“There are 130 million orphans in the world — who is looking after them? If you are a citizen of the world, on some level they are all our responsibility. And if you have got parents who want to adopt and there are children who need a home, it seems like a no-brainer.”

Finally I’ll end with this; today dear friends before you buy that coffee, moan about being in debt, do that grocery shop, look at new shoes “you need”, talk about retirement savings, fill up that car with petrol, think about what you could do today to make a difference in the life of a child. Think about sending a cheque for £10 or £20 or £30 to an organization like World Vision, consider sponsoring a child, discuss adoption. Because today, while you go about your normal day 6000 more children will be orphaned. 6000 more children will have no one to wipe their tears, no one to read to them, no one to love them that alone should spur you into action!

My new post is up at the Simple, Green, Frugal Co-op! I’d love if you added some of your ideas!

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About Frugal Trenches

I love the sweet nectar of life!
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18 Responses to World Aids Orphan Day!

  1. J says:

    I think the sentiment of this post is really good.

    When did you start sponsoring your first child and are you/have you already managed to adopt a child yet?

  2. Frugal Trenches says:

    J – thank you!

    I started sponsoring a child when I got my first job in high school, I’ve been sponsoring children for 13 years! I currently sponsor two children (was three but ones family no longer needed it – so am looking at adding a third soon!) on top of other charitable committments! They bring me great joy!

    Re adoption. I’m saving for it :0)

  3. Kel says:

    lovely post NFFT. On the one hand i have issues about sponsorship and adoption from a long term political and economic perspective ( despite sponsoring many world vision children) however right now, children need assistance and its very difficult to reconcile the two. My oldest daughter started using half her pocket money from the age of 9 to sponsor a child – i matched the other half- and im very proud of her . It certainly is not expensive to set aside money to help a child if you change your thinking. But i do believe that if we do ‘sponsor’ we also have a responsibility to help that childs wider community so that children of the future need not be removed from their communities of origin.

    • Frugal Trenches says:

      I think that is the exact point, because of the way the world is now we have to take more radical action, in the long run if we work to support communities we shouldn’t have children/people facing this life. But in the meantime they can’t simply wait because of the longer political agenda.

      Re wider community that is so true, it is why I sponsor through world vision. I believe the whole family & community should benefit!

      That is brilliant about your daughter!!

  4. Lazy Susie says:

    Good points. We’ve sponsered, tried to adopt and helped others to adopt.

    How much do you need to adopt? Do you get any tax credits after adopting?

    • Frugal Trenches says:

      Lazy Suzy

      Sadly there are no adoption tax credits here and our version of the assessment for adoption from overseas is 10x what it costs in the US. There are also no charities or organizations that will provide assistance. If you adopt domestically there is no charge, which is great! The UK sadly has very low adoption rates compared to the US, Canada, France, Netherlands etc.

  5. v says:

    I agree with both sides of the issue, local and international adoption are excellent choices.

    All children deserve a decent living I don’t think you can ignore the plight of children at home or abroad. See link below.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/07/opinion/07kristof.html?ref=opinion

    • Frugal Trenches says:

      You are right V – both local and international are great choices! In fact I think it is pretty good to do both :0)

      I agree that we simply cannot ignore the plight of children. I challenge people against adoption to go and spend a week in an orpahanage, because it is life changing.

      Thank you for the article, I can’t wait to read!

  6. Trudy says:

    I could write sooooo much here but wanted to say very loudly ‘FT I agree! I agree! I agree!’ Thanks so much for this post… T x

  7. MrsSmith says:

    It is incomprehensible to me that anyone could feel that a same sex or interracial couple should not be allowed to adopt. I could even argue that they might be able to empathize more with an orphan, because they have had to develop thicker skins than a same race heterosexual couple.

    Could you really deny a child a happy healthy home and sentence them to an orphanage because the way you read the bible leads you to think that homosexuality is wrong? That is not loving at all. And being Christian is supposed to be about loving.

    It breaks my heart thinking about the families that would adopt in a heartbeat if only they were allowed. At least they are allowed to sponsor. And that is no small gift, as everyone here agrees.

    • Frugal Trenches says:

      “It breaks my heart thinking about the families that would adopt in a heartbeat if only they were allowed” – AMEN!!!!

  8. kath says:

    I loved this post, FT. I agree with you.

    It spurred me to go to the World Vision website and look into sponsoring, and I found something there that I wanted to mention here.

    They have on the website a very long list of companies that match employee’s contributions. So if anyone else reading is thinking about sponsoring, check to see if your company is on their list. It’s a great way of getting even more money donated to the cause.

    My company is not on the list of matching companies, though there are numerous companies in our industry that are. I think I will write to our headquarters and ask them if they might consider matching. My daughter’s company is on the list, so I think I’ll ask her to consider sponsoring.

  9. Linda says:

    If people manage to spend money, but say they cannot afford to adopt, can I suggest that they actually shouldn’t adopt, but that spending some of their money on sponsoring a child is more appropriate for them and better for children in general.
    I was orphaned at 12. During school holidays I had to spend time with various relatives, some of whom had children, some of whom didn’t.
    I can tell you, from my own experience, that some people are just not suited to looking after children.
    Not every child who ends up in care is there because of mis-treatment or neglect, and unless a home is loving, then kindly, structured, ‘official’ care can be better than financial advantages.. I accept that maybe, on average, a child is better off in a family, but each circumstance is not average.
    You obviously love children, but, unfortunately it is a gift not given to all, even though you may find it hard to understand.

    • Frugal Trenches says:

      Absolutely Linda! Some people can not and should not adopt the same as some people should not have children at all.

      I have however seen people change incredibly through the adoption process which gives me hope that people who think they can’t can actually do it with the right education and support!

      I think there is also a big difference between thinking you can’t do it financially and not wanting to do it, if that makes sense. If you have the skills, love & desire finances shouldn’t hold you back - Although you may need to save for a few years!

      I too have several family member who were left orphaned as a children. One was adopted and is simply thriving with her family, it is miraculous to watch!!

      Thanks so much for your comment!

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