I’ve been thinking a lot these past few days and as I catch up on emails and telephone conversations with friends in real life (not that you aren’t all friends, but I do have to remind myself lately that not everyone has a blog!) I’ve come to see a common thread between friends in significant debt, and I have 4 of them, and that is impulsivity! All four will openly discuss their debt with me (all are at least £30K in non-mortgage debt), 3/4 are American, between ages 38-42 and all have children. But one thing I find fascinating about our discussions is every time we have a discussion they have something new bought or planned. Here’s an example:
Friend A – Married, late 30′s, £45K of non-mortgage debt, plus mortgage (about 90% of the value of their home) stay at home mum, 2 children under 3. Our conversation last week, they bought new household appliances (theirs were on their last leg, apparently although still working!), a new mattress (as theirs was no good?!) and started renovations on their kitchen – it needs it apparently. And apparently the almost 3 year old needs to take tap and music lessons as she needs something to do.
Friend B – Married, late 30′s, £38K of non-mortgage debt, plus mortgage (negative equity), work full time, 3 children 7 and under, our conversation this weekend? Apparently they moved, switched jobs (not due to layoff or impending layoff, wanted something different), only can’t sell house or get renters, so now not paying mortgage, got 2 new cats and another dog, decided to breed the dog only couldn’t sell the puppies, so I believe they were being taken to a shelter.
Friend C – Late 30′s, £31K non-mortgage debt, plus mortgage (about 50% of value of the home as she bought it many years ago), 3 children ages 9 and under, work full time. Had another child (decided to and was expecting with a couple of weeks) and then told me they can’t afford the nursery fees on take home pay, so they go on the credit card each month as does the council tax!
Friend D – Early 40′s, married, £42K non-mortgage debt, no mortgage (they rent), 1 child age 4, mum works full time, dad works part time, got on a minimum payment plan for debt (consolidation) only pay the minimum. Our conversation this weekend? They bought a timeshare and she got the boots she needed, at £100.
I have news for anyone in debt, wanting to change their financial situation, those in desperate need of savings and anyone else. Stop with the impulsiveness!!!! If you want another child, then you need to plan for it. You need to work out whether you can afford maternity/paternity leave, whether you can afford nursery fees (if they need to go to nursery). I do not for a moment believe that children NEED to be as expensive as we make them. I parented children for almost a year and was amazed at what their friends had lavished on them. We had good old fashioned fun, we visited the library 1-2x a week, went to our local council run community centre for free or heavily subsidized programs, we went on nature walks, visited parks, had picnics outside, bought art materials and set to work outside. We had birthday parties with small groups of close friends, including “a Victorian tea party”. If you want to add to your family, you need to focus on getting out of debt, saving for those costs with are necessary (maternity leave, basic items etc) and make a plan! Children are such a blessing, but our actions as adults often make children seem like a burden. It is us who spends too much on babies, it is us who thinks giving a child everything is about finances, when actually often it is more about time, stability, love and simplicity.
Household items – the whole time I was in London full time I had no vacuum, yes none. Yes it was a lot of work to sweep those floors and sweep those floors and sweep those floors. But more than I needed a vacuum I needed an emergency fund. Same goes for a kettle – yes I went without a kettle. I went 12 months without a camera which was difficult, very difficult, but I don’t need a camera to survive! I don’t have a drying machine (fine by me as it is more eco friendly to hang clothes to dry anyways). My point is that we need to really really really see the difference between need and want. This has been such an important lesson for me. I’ve mentioned it before, because I also think it is about using the right language“our household appliance is on it’s last legs” could be changed to “our household appliance may be old but it is still working, so we are focusing on saving to replace it when necessary”. See the difference there? I’ve been told it would be a good idea for me to have a surgery (I’ve chosen my words carefully there many people would say need a surgery but I don’t believe it is a need because it won’t kill me not to have it, it will make my life easier if I have it, it will probably make me feel better about my health situation but those are not needs). It will cost me around £6,000 (it isn’t covered on the NHS). I can see why the surgery is a good idea. I could sit here and say “I can’t afford it”. But that wouldn’t be using the right language to use or the right value to teach myself. So instead I say “there is a surgery I would like to have, that right now I don’t have the money for, I plan to start saving for it and hope to eventually be able to have it“.
Moving, selling houses etc – unless you have to, you don’t jump jobs and areas without selling your house or being able to rent it out unless you can absolutely afford those mortgage payments for, I would say in this economy, a year. You don’t create chaos for your children, your marriage and your own life by making a decision to quit a job on a whim with no back up, move when you have to put your moving costs onto a credit card with no real plan or backup should things go wrong. You are risking the roof over your children’s heads doing this!!!
Pets- I love, uber love my kitty. I’d love a dog (I had one growing up, through my adolescence etc), I really really would. But you know what? Right now it isn’t in the budget. In order to have a dog not only do I need to be able to afford to feed it and take it to the vets, but I need money for when I go away, any potential health issues, insurances etc. In terms of the pecking order of finance, right now the priority is emergency fund, catching up on retirement savings (doing well so far, need to update on this!), then a house fund. There are so many ways I can spend time with dogs, by volunteering at the RSPCA or another animal shelter, volunteering with working dog charities and programs, helping walk friend’s dogs etc. For some people having a dog may be more important than a house fund, maybe some people can afford both, right now I’m choosing not to do this not saying I can’t afford to, simply because there are soo many changes in my life right now that I need to know I’m at the right time, place and financial situation to commit to a dog, not for a month or two, but for 10 years plus. When the time is right, I’ll make sure I have £500 in a pet fund, to ensure that if vet bills crop up I can handle them!
I guess the point of this long, rambling post is to remind myself and everyone to PLAN! Make a 1 year plan, a 2 year plan, 3, 4, 5 year plan. Where do you want to be and perhaps more importantly how are you going to get there? If you want children then how are you going to make that happen? So many people say “we’ll have a baby in 2 years” well are you willing to forgo things now in order to make that happen? Are you willing to quit eating out and save that £20 a week into a fund to top up your maternity leave? Have you figured out childcare costs and how you will afford them? If you know you’ll need (said cautiously) a new vacuum, bed, tv, camera, car….well what are you doing about it? Are you cutting back now to be able to buy it cash? Are you really really examining need vs. want? A tv isn’t a need, really it is a want. Sure it is nice to be able to put it on, but let’s be honest. When I went 7 weeks without a tv as I didn’t want to buy one until I had the money in the bank to pay for it, I never never said I need a tv, that meant I didn’t feel sorry for myself, I didn’t think I was going without, instead I admitted what I wanted and found a route to get it, through hard work, saving and a plan!
Just remember when someone knocks at your door, or you walk into that electronic store/furniture store/salon, they are looking for someone, hopefully not someone like you, who will buy into myth that you need and deserve what they are selling, that it will make your life easier, make your image better and make you happier. And you know what? For most things it is an absolute lie! There is nothing like the contentment of knowing you have no debt and savings (even a small amount) behind you. Don’t get sucked in. Start with no spending days to train yourself in self-disciplin and change your financial picture as a result!!
You are spot on! Me and himself have been inpulsive in the past and that is a LARGE part of why we are in the debt that we are now, ( not all of it is debt generated by us I need to point out) but we had to face it and deal with it, It is being paid down, we have never missed any payments and what we do decide we need in the future has to be saved for, getting rid of the debt we are in has to take priority. We have learned the hard way and it is a very very important lesson.
It’s so true. People just want stuff and that’s the end of it. I don’t get it – we’ve always been pretty stingy. The whole credit thing just makes the cost of things unreal so people spend spend spend what isn’t there to spend.
As a child of the 70′s I didn’t know anyone with any cash, growing up. It didn’t matter we all played and had fun childhoods, but we were allowed to go fishing in streams and play in the streets till dusk. When I come back to the UK now its like someone’s stolen all the children – where are they?
great post. one of the catalysts for leaving my exhusband and father of 2 of my children 6 years ago was the STD; sexually transmitted debt. It would have finished me financially as well if we had stayed together. he was uber impulsive. i payed of my ‘share’ of the 20 K we seperated on. Now i own my own home, my car, 2 invetsment properties and we holiday every year on casf. we have no debt. i work part time and my husband stays home and looks after our new baby. we grow our own food, buy second hand clothes and generally say no to so many things. its just stuff. wants not neds. we have a wonderful stress free life. mor epoeple need to undersand the power of no and delayed gratification.
Dear Frugal Trenches:
I enjoy reading (“Lurking”) your site very much. Also, your insight into the changes needed to make your life more meaningful. The only thing I disagreed with on your post was the amount of time spent on children. My husband and I have 3 children (2, almost 3 teenagers) and the number of children has never been the cause of money struggles for us. It has more to do with housing (wanting to live right on the beach), vacations, etc. Thankfully now we have no debt and fully funded retirement programs. However, a lack of delayed gratification is a HUGE problem for people today. Thank you for your posts.
Hi Rebecca thanks for the comment. Honestly I really think you’ve misunderstood me, I don’t for a MOMENT think that children are the cause of debt. I parented several children for a year and DO NOT BELIEVE FOR AN INSTANT that children need to be expensive or are anything BUT a blessing. I know people who spend more on 1 child than 5! I do however believe that if you are spending money on things you can’t afford, parenting will be harder. Sorry if you misunderstood my post but I’m pretty much the total opposite to what society believes about children (they are expensive etc!). Hope that clarifies things! So pleased to hear about your strong financial position!
Excellently put! The Bible speaks of counting the cost before you build a tower and of keeping your eye simple – meaning focused on God’s will rather than everything the world is offering. This doesn’t mean you do without, just that you have things in proper perspective. Cherrie
I like the categories you used.
I used to be more of an impulsive spender. Once I went to “look” at scooters and came home with a motorcycle. It’s easier not to be impulsive now that I’m very accountable to my wife for how I spend our money.
Hear hear. Planning & Organization is the foundation of success…
And kids are happy with just a cardboard box and their imagination.
But they don’t seem like they want to make a change and/or are in denial about their situation. You also have to have the discipline or willpower to want to change.
Fabulously Broke – I know and the thing is they all cry out about their financial situation, then you talk to them, provide resources and the next thing you know they’ve spent the weekend at the zoo, ate out twice and bought the kids new bikes. I just don’t get it.
Cherie – thanks for the Biblical reference. So very true!
This is a VERY sensible post.
I was watching Watchdog last evening and a couple with 4 children had been moved into an unsuitable council house (yes it was a grim house) BUT what struck me was that they “couldn’t manage in their 2 bedroomed flat” and there was an expectation that they would be housed.
Where is the sense of responsibility – why do some people think that others will pick up the tab? I guess though that there may have been a very good reason for their situation – a re-possession perhaps?
I was very taken aback at the amount of non-mortgage debt that your friends have … it’s frightening.
I’ve only had modest cars which I’ve been able to pay for outright and it was only recently that I realised some who have flashy cars far grander than mine are driving around in something that actually doesn’t belong to them!
Recently our TV went kaput and I was going to replace it with a new one (an old habit!) but my son picked up one for £25 on his work’s Intranet – it’s perfect – it was being disposed of for a slimline version.
Now I am rambling and sounding smug and I apologise.
Hi, just found you via the green co-op. I can’t wait to catch up on previous posts!
Regarding this one, Do we know the same people? I felt I was reading about my friends!! Yikes, it makes me crazy! One friend got $$ for Christmas and instead of saving or paying on debt bought new UGG boots for over $200. I was astounded! Instead of commenting negatively towards them, I have taken on “bragging” about what I bought at the second hand store For very little money. Really this only makes me happy but I have to do something! lol
So, I thank you for your blog. I look forward to following.
cathy c
Perhaps there’s a need to go back to buying things with CASH. Cards are so easy and make money seem too unreal.
Another sobering way to use money is to work out what things cost in terms of hours worked.
Everything you said is totally common sense! Unfortunately, common sense is all to uncommon these days!
A terrific post! I know I have my wants and desires, but as a very poor graduate student, I like to occasionally buy a treat a week (coffee or snack). Usually though I take out books and magazines from the library when I “get the gimmes” because it’s free (my tax dollars contribute) and I can return them when finished and not have the clutter! That’s another one of my reasons for having a camera (given as a gift) — taking pictures are free!
Thanks for the wonderful post and it serves as inspiration to help me stay on track and after I graduate, to pay off my student loans (much much lower than the folks in your stories) and save for my future.
One story I would like to share: I had a former graduate school classmate who was raising a daughter; as a single mother she received a little $ from the child’s father for child support payments, and received food stamps (no shame there — trying to go through grad school to better her situation; grad school was paid for by the university). Where things started to get bad was when she purchased a cat and a dog (took away from her income for herself and her daughter) and rented an apartment out of her range. Luckily her life situation’s a bit different now, and the animals are gone and she’s back on track, but it’s amazing just how much $ an animal can detract from a very small income!
Hi Frugal Trenches.
Spot on – being impulsive and not able to rein it in is what is gets you in a heck of a mess. And it’s not just the here and now that gives you all the stress, your credit score carries on along with you – want to finance a car purchase in the next five years?; another mortgage?.
The levels of personal debt illustrated by those four people is truly scary. I think I’ve got it bad with approx £4k of credit card debt after being made redundant for the third time and eight months at college – but £30-£45k is just too horrible a place to get right in my head. I can understand that you are frustrated when you try to dissect the rationale these people give you for their purchases and the lifestyle decisions they’ve made.
I worked out a long time ago that the advertising industry is set up just to hook you in and then sell you an ideal that tries to convince you that everything else that follows (brand names releasing upgraded versions of a box of tricks, celebrity endorsed merchandise etc) is a necessity as opposed to a choice.
Here’s a little test: when you next see or hear a print/TV/radio/viral advert replace any thoughts you have in your head with this – “Tell to Sell” – that’s all they are doing, convincing you that really do need this item as it is portrayed, which of course is in it’s best possible light.
Think of new car adverts – lush surroundings, sparsely populated roads, pretty actors and false inspirational lifestyles – are those actors really that skilled in the nifty driving scenes? I don’t think so.
Also, skin care/cosmetic products – celebrity endorsed adverts air brushed to the nth degree, a new formulation of an existing product, oh, and while you’re at it bash a supposed anonymous competitor. Part of the cynic in me believes that all that is new is the bottle with a new lid the stuff is packaged in has been re-designed and costs more. The only person Jennifer Anniston thinks is “worth it” is herself and her agent
.
And following on from the job of Telling (you about the item in order) To Sell (it to you) there are all the distributors/retailers/store assistants tasked with carrying on the premise that this item is what you need. It follows all the way down until you have paid for the transaction and have that paper receipt in your hand.
I’m not a raging anti-consumerist, far from it, but this is something you learn about the hard way and over time.
Wow, I didn’t mean to go on for so long . I hope you can get your pals to look through all the debt they’ve got into try to find a way through. Good luck.
Hi there-I can’t believe people regularly put priority bills on a credit card-that’s just asking for trouble. A budget is a must for any family, it only takes a drop in income for a while and a financial situation will be unbearable. Your friends have high non mortgage debt, I wonder if they are stressed by it, I would be.
Superb post. I wish I had been as wise as you when I was your age! I am in a different situation really. When my husband died, our house was paid for, and that is a huge blessing. He did however leave some debt, and so I set myself a mission. I am paying it off (2 years to go), I have gone out to work for the first time really as I was a stay at home Mum for many many years, and I work only with cash. So I draw a set amount every week and when that is gone, it is gone. Any left over goes into savings. The mind boggles at the debt some people carry, and the way they do not appear to worry about it. In 2 years I will be free of debt. Maybe sooner. And I will ahve done it myself. Never ever again. Cash only!
Just to clarify, I mean I only use cash to pay for things! Not that I get paid in cash!
Your thoughts on having children really struck a cord with me. I think my struggles with debt have taught me so many lessons that will ultimately make me a better parent (if and when the time comes). It was a huge priority for me to get out of consumer debt before having kids. I have learned that kids definitely don’t have to be as expensive as people make out (as you said as well) but the stress of knowing I had that debt would have taken away some of joy of becoming a mother. I want to feel stable and ready when that time comes. How awful to feel pressing financial anxiety just as you bring a baby into your life! No thanks…
I do worry that my husband and I have the opposite issue: waiting too long to make sure everything is “right”. My big goal now is to lose weight and get my body to a healthier place before taking the childbearing leap. I also want to build up my emergency fund and save up for a bigger apartment. I have that nagging voice in my head that sometimes says that I’ll be waiting forever. There has to be a balance, though. I’m giving myself the next year to work on my health/finances and then, hopefully, I’ll be ready. My husband is on board with the plan but he’s even more hesitant that I am!
Wow, great post. My husband and I are really focusing right now on our mortgage which is our only debt (about 15% of the value of our home). When I read stories like this I realise we really are in the minority. Our weak point is holidays (twice a year) but we where crap clothes to compensate! Hey we choices where to priortise our spending though right? We have two young children (6 and 4) and I try to strike a balance, they get one after school activity each a week and fair share of toys etc, but am strict about setting their expectations even at this age.
In some ways this had actually made me feel better about myself! I admit I’m terrible with money and never seem to save anything, but at least I don’t ‘need’ hundreds of pounds worth of tv, thousands of pounds worth of car etc.
Our cooker was bought second hand for £40 2-3 years ago, it’s on it’s last legs now, looks ugly and doesn’t stick to the right temperature particularly well, but you know what, it cooks! We don’t need a new cooker yet and I’m proud that I haven’t given myself more debt and added more stuff to landfill needlessly. A couple of months ago we were very happy to get a ‘new’ tv … for £45 from the local ads! It saved yet another appliance from landfill and it was paid for in cash.
So yes, I may be terrible at saving, but at least I don’t buy into this culture of ‘needing’ home improvements and new tvs and more clothes and shoes and jewelery and magic-cure-all makeup and………. (on and on)
I guess thats something to feel good about?
yes there has to be a balance. like there never reallly is a ‘right time’ to have children. And sometimes you have to leap into life and make it work from there. I am amazed at how much non mortgage debt these folk have. My way has been to not buy new. or at least very rarely. I did splash out when we got our wedding gifts though. on kitchen appliances!! but I bought quality that I would never have got if I hadnt the extra money. And actually now, I want more quality stuff and less of it. But I certainly dont mind second hand.
children are only expensive in terms of me not working. And I am figuring out how I can earn whilst still looking after and being with my adorable blessing of a son.
I have some friends who are horribly in debt. they are leapers into the unknown in life. they do have a lot of stress, but also they have created some amazing things – a fabulous venue where they host amazing cabarets and gigs and parties (which is their love in life) and a hotel that has a different theme in each room – they travel the world and do amazing things. I can see that they might have more security if they made better plans. But they offer so much to the world and live so richly (not in terms of money – but in depth and breadth of experience), that I cant say that they are wrong for that
There has to be a limit though. I agree with controlling impulses when buying trinkets or replacing items that work but when it comes to health you shouldn’t wait. 6k isn’t an insurmountable amount and your health is worth more than a period of debt
I watch friends doing the same thing re debt…just this week I listened in mounting alarm, as one used my phone to negotiate getting her phone reconnected, disconnected due to non-payment of hundreds of dollars. This is a week after they bought, on credit, a brand new AU $30, 000 car…a gas guzzler. When I asked if they budgetted for regular bills, she laughed and said no-one does that….I could show her a lot of people who do *waves to all of you* They also have a nil equity mortgage of around AU$ 600,000!
Then she booked herself into a swanky local resort for the weekend, with 3 kids, as hubby had gone away fishing..” she deserved a treat too”…..then came to see if she could borrow some $$$ off me to put petrol in the car…4 days after pay day!!!
I’m not perfect, just spent $100 on ortho sandals
so I can keep up my walking, but I saved for them, and didn’t go into debt, and I’ll probably buy no more new shoes for years, it scares me to see young people buying into the “I want, therefore will have” mentality, without a thought for the future, or what their kids are learning about money, spending, needs and wants.
Nanette
I am with you on what you said. We try to be very frugal with our money and not spend what we don’t have. We also contribute heavily to our retirement.
We are a bit more in debt than I would like to be right now (about 26k US$) but pulling out of it. The vast majority of our debt was as a result of giving our old clunker (but still worked) to my husband’s ex. It was that or drive her to work every day. Sorry…but I have my limits on what I will do. It was worth every penny that we went into debt for so that I wasn’t tied to that chore. An added bonus was that I got a car that I totally love as opposed to the old faithful that was faithful but I never liked.
The other debt (besides mortgage) is another car loan. I expect to get it paid off by the end of this year. We are paying as much extra money on it as we can. Once that is paid off, that car payment will go towards the other car.
We don’t spend a ton of money generally. For example, our anniversary celebration was a 20$ dinner out. Woohoo! Big spenders we are. And that is the way it should be until our finances are more stable.
I think the important thing here is being a
grown-up and taking responsibility for your
own actions – people seem to have forgotten
how to do that. At the moment, the Australian
government is handing out money like a
drunken sailor in the guise of economic
stimulus payments in the hopes people will
use it to buy more crap they don’t need. I’ve
always lived within my means (needless to say
Krudd’s not giving me any money!) – I don’t
particularly like the idea of my taxes funding
someone elses’s debt-riddled lifestyle!
I work for a bank in credit. It’s scary to see how much consumer debt people have. People have no idea how much interest they pay, and they are so offended when we will not extend more credit to them – like it’s their God-given right to borrow as much as they want. I have to say I’m proud that the bank I work for is more conservative in it’s lending & risk. We don’t want you to take on more debt than we feel you can repay. It can be very challenging when customer’s don’t see it that way.
Reading blogs like this one and seeing my client’s situations helps me stay in perspective for what is important to me. Hubbie & I are working on paying off our debt. One thing we have agreed on is that we will not buy another brand new car. The car we have, we still have scheduled pymts for the next 2 years. We were fortunate to have an excellent interest rate but the monthly pymt really can be a burden. We will drive this car to the ground and save for our next one.
With the current economy, we find ourselves talking about our purchases more. We are reasoning if something is really a need or a want. If it’s a want – can we afford it? What’s the benefit of it?
Another great post! You’re right, impulsiveness can be very costly. I enjoy how you reword things. It much more of an optomistic outlook.
Hear in America, especially California, we feel we need everything to survive. When, in fact, I would deem 60% of that a WANT. lol!
Its hard to get in that planning groove. And during that phase, sometimes I throw silent rants cuz I want it now and impulsively. But, I allow myself to calm down and realize that I am much farther in my goals these days because I planned. And it is optimal to stay on course.
I want to thank you for the great tool of no spending days. We have no debts, and our mortgage is fully paid. But at the end of the month we never had more than a few Euros left, and we had nothing to show for it! So I started with one no spending day, moved on to two and now to three per week, and I cannot believe how much less money I spend! And of course, i miss nothing at all, and there is serious money left at the end of the month.
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Dear Frugal,
Thanks so much to responding to my comment. As I said, I really enjoy your blog and the tips/ideas you give. I am an American living abroad and each time I go back to the States I see more and more how my perspective is changing compared to others. Also, on another note, I hope you are feeling well.
What a well-written article! One of my issues is student loan debt.
I had some serious issues with finances when I started school and I think I got a little carried away with it. I regret it now and should have taken better care of it. My current job doesn’t pay fabulously and I’m working on becoming a teacher. We will have our wedding debt paid off when our tax refund comes in. That’s exciting which means we can start working on our student debt. 
So true. I also have many friends & family members in the same boat (and call me asking for money to help bail them out after then just told me last week they bought 4 of the same clock at a garage sale).
I saw a great blog post last week titled:
Spending sacrifices the future, saving sacrifices today.
I’d rather sacrifice today for a great future than the other way around.
Great post.
Sadly, I fear the predicaments your friends are in is all too common these days. It’s the ‘because you’re worth it’ attitude of spend, spend, spend, have, have, have and let’s ignore the debts piling up.
I have to admit to having recently bought a new bed – but only after having had the base of the old one for more than 20 years and it had completely collapsed, causing the springs of the mattress to poke through – thus disturbing our sleep and ripping the sheets. I really felt that was a necessary new purchase. However, I still don’t have a freezer (no space to put one) and manage just fine. Years ago when I bought my first house I had no fridge (it was winter, luckily), no hoover (dustpan and brush work fine) and no central heating. It wasn’t great fun but it was necessary financially and it really didn’t do me any harm.
I sent an email to your yahoo but I’m not sure if that’s an actual email or junk mail. But anyway – I was wondering if you could tell us as to what field you are in? Perhaps I’ve missed it as I am a new reader.
I really do enjoy your posts!
Wow. Great Post. It’s kinda scary that this % of people my age (38) are going through this. I guess as I’ve gotten older, I try and surround myself with people who aren’t like this. Or they don’t talk about it.
On the spending money on kids, we bought a zoo membership. $75/year, go as much as you like. Pack a lunch (say NO to the toys, which I’m better at than daddy), and it’s a very cheap trip.
Hmm, I know a few people like that! I can’t understand that attitude at all, yeah we all could spend spend spend but at some point we have to know when to draw the line.
I sometimes wonder if these people are the product of a spoilt childhood?
I’ve just read this post again and I’m just quite amazed at how people think it is acceptable to buy when they don’t have the money to pay for it. I think 90% of people really have too much and don’t get that when you buy like this you are only hurting yourself and your kids.
You are right about kids, they don’t have to be costly (unless you can’t afford the basics and/or have to do creche/daycare) but people spend so much, baby showers are a good example, getting lots of products you don’t need! Terrible way to start parenthood!
FT I’d love to read about your time parenting children, I imagine you were wonderful at it and am sure motherhood awaits you!
Can I be friend S? I’m 40, American, married with four children under 15. I work part time as a volunteer, plus a few hours a week as a paid employee. The man works full time. (Children 13 and up have an opportunity to work in summer.)
We have no debt at all, not even mortgage. We also don’t have a lot of other things that others have, like TV channels to watch or a dishwasher.
All your advice is spot-on.
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