One of the great things about blogging, is that you have an outlet when you are low or you simply need to vent. One of the great things about life (well, most days) is that it is constantly changing, evolving and generally speaking a tough few days can be followed by better ones. Right now I’m focusing on making the next few days better days. I’m going to take some time just for me, not so much socializing and more reflecting, relaxing and simply being. I’m going to make lists of priorities and different routes there. I’m going to look into some of your many wonderful suggestions, Moyra I really like the idea of looking after property, Kaela B a very tiny house sounds perfect indeed and Nanette reminded me to keep believing. I’m amazed at how many of you in the comment section and by email (yes, I am always happy to receive emails for those that asked) feel the exact same way – wanting to leave the career you’ve worked hard to achieve and be home, birthing babes, planting, baking, cooking, reading. Bri gave a great reminder that feminism is about choice – so ladies I think we can all embrace what we want to, no actually what we chose we need to. For I really think this whole journey, for me anyways, is a lot less about want and more about need.
Just to clarify, I don’t want to buy in London (heaven forbid!), I’m not looking for a big home with a large garden – I was thinking a simple terrace with a yard (teeny, tiny, plot – very hard to describe to North American’s unless you’ve seen our little terraces – cute they are!). But right now I’m getting my creative hat on and no I don’t need to purchase a house to feel complete.
So, I’m trying to move in the right direction and I think I am. I’ve signed up with my local council for an allotment (for those not from the UK this is a small patch of land you rent from your local government), there is an estimated wait of 1-3 years, but I’ll keep in regular contact and hope that it might be sooner rather than later – if you are the praying kind feel free to add in a prayer or two ;0) I’m also contacting a local animal & countryside charity and am hoping I can do something Fridays – this will get me into the countryside, give me experience with animals and wildlife which can only be good prep for what I hope my future holds.
Sometimes when we open up our hearts I think we hear what we need to hear. Deepali gave me a great quote to consider, which I think I really needed to hear:
To make it only slightly more (but not too much) practical: stop thinking in terms of “i don’t”, “i want”, etc, and start thinking in terms of “i am”.
Thank you all for your suggestions and outpouring of support. Since you all helped bring me some peace, I leave you with some photos I’ve taken over the last couple of weeks that bring me peace. Enjoy!
Devon cream tea!
Note: Many of you suggested by email or comment I start putting adds on this blog, start freelance writing and making money through writing so I can leave my job or further reduce my hours. Thank you for such kind words. I’m not sure how I feel about ads on blogs, but I do know I love to write and wish I had more time to. So I’ll keep thinking and reflecting and try and think about a balance that is right for me.