*note, there are very few capitalized words in this rambling post*
I didn’t sleep well last night (surprise, surprise) for two main reasons, one being work (I’ve had another project pushed on my plate – yes I’m already doing 50hr weeks, so this project will definitely push me over the 60 hr a week mark, I am too young to be totally tied to work and while I never complain about my income, honestly I think to give this level of commitment – I’m having to work on my annual leave days (is this normal??) I should be paid more! I digress….the other reason I couldn’t sleep was of course the flat situation. So, if you’ll bear with me, here are my thoughts…
the flat itself
is really really lovely
the nicest of any flat i’ve seen before
lovely communal area
good size rooms
great fixtures
1 bedrooms (£132,500 -£170,000) among 2 and 3 bed apartments that go for over £400,000 (!!!) This is why a 2 bed isn’t an option – cost!
city living
this flat is lovely, right in the heart of a small cathedral city, shops, buses, trains on the door step – all this is very good
the city is far from London, although my work has a brilliant work from home policy, the reality is I will need to be in the capitol at least 2 days a week – so I’ll need to budget for a return ticket and a night at a hostel each week – all this is a con – it would add about £200 a month to the budget
envy/green eyed monster
i admit it, i have it.
i look around and see friends with houses and flats and/or second incomes and/or inheritances and while I’m always willing to work hard for my income, i look at my life and don’t see any rewards.
a good friend of mine who is 2 yrs older bought a little terrace on the outskirts of london when his girlfriend found out she was pregnant when they were both 21. he finished uni and they had £10,000 from her parents, that was the down-payment. They bought it for about £90k ten years ago and it is now worth £300,000, even if the market slips 30% they have a really good buffer. They may not have pensions (which are of course very important) but he works full times, she’s at home, they have 3 beautiful children, a lovely little house, and there are days it’s hard to look at them because I so wish I had a family, a home to call my own. Another friend emigrated to the US, where she has purchased a lovely home in an older development for about £75k. She grows veggies, has guests to stay, has security and I dream of all those things.
stability
i feel like i need some stability. these last few months, well actually few years (since returning from travelling) feel somewhat chaotic – lots of moves, rentals etc. i’m craving somewhere to call home, somewhere that is peacefully mine.
the market
i do think it will do down more, i’m being realistic, the end of the financial year for builders is november/december often there are good sales.
now may not be the best time to buy, but I also need to factor in what I would pay in rent over the next year
the media talks about “great buys” but many developers are not willing to compromise and reduce. all this is very confusing
hard questions & answers
would I cope with the market going down 10%? 15%? – my offer would need to be 15% lower than the asking price.
what would i do if i lost my job:
option 1: I would have to look for a job in the small city, heck I’d even work in retail just to pay the bills until something in my field came along.
option 2: let out the flat and move in with family
Is there a better city to live in?
Honestly, I’d love to head north, cheaper prices, friendly people, good size cities & the countryside, but right now it is just that little bit too far for getting back to work. On a plus, there are many more jobs to choose from up there (I’m thinking the major city hub – Manchester, Leeds etc) so it probably would be possible to get a job in my income range and get a cheaper place to live.
right now for commuting to london, people tell me the Kent coast is pretty good, but I know no one in that neck of the woods. other places which offer easier (but ££$$) commuting times like surrey, berkshire, hampshire etc are simply too pricey!
this is not the city i see myself in within the next 10 years, the pay is too low (about 10k lower than London), it’s not overly friendly but for now it is a good compromise. i guess if I were to move away, i would want to let the flat out & not sell. but isn’t that how people got into this problem/mess in the first place?
hhmm…..
all of a sudden i’m thinking about the things that are jumping out at me:
1. Motherhood is probably closer (I hope!) then I realize
2. This city is not long term
3. I have an idea where long term may be – north of england
4. I’m currently feeling somewhat insecure and looking for something to fix that
5. The only way to make the market work for me is to buy when low, who knows when it will be at its lowest but I would need another 15% off the already reduced asking price
6. This market is confusing
7. I’m tired & overworked….!
8. I really like the flat, but would prefer if it was £100,000
9. I could see myself living there
10. I want the simple life, both personally and professionally asap.
**the reality is this, I don’t have enough of a safety net right now if something went wrong, so I have to come back to that for my decision. I will keep plowing money into savings. I will keep the focus on building my emergency fund to £10,000 (the goal is for this to be done by March 31 2009!) before I then start looking at a home deposit fund and a motherhood fund. I’m still at least 2 years from motherhood (probably more) and that is for good reason – pension, emergency fund, housing, location etc. Not buying means I’m not tied to London, if the opportunity arose I could move to another part of the UK for a better job, more work/life balance etc. I am sure that the flat will make someone very happy and I wish them well, for me though having no debt and a full emergency fund makes me very happy indeed**
And I’ll end with a quote from the hillarious Dr Kelso from the show Scrubs “Nothing in this world worth having comes easy” – some people quote Ghandi, I quote Scubs….hmmm…not sure what that means 
i am not an AP parenting fan but I think a 1-BR is still doable with a child. One thing about “deals” – be prepared to walk away. Sellers can sense if you’ve grown attached and will not budge.
lol there are loads of things about attachment parenting I’m cautious about too lol but I like some aspects most definitely!
great advice, thanks Deepali
Frugal Trenches, please wait! You seem to have lowered your defenses against impulse buys and from reading your posts for the past few weeks you appear to be searching for solid ground. Your desire for a place to call home and a child seems to a a yearning for some stability in your chaotic work life. Take at least a month before you make any major decisions! Single motherhood can be challenging and its all in your hands! Believe me, I had more than one major melt down over the years trying to cope with it all, motherhood, working and home ownership.Keep blogging, talk to your friends, go and stay in the city where you are thinking of buying and see if its fits you! Is it child friendly, is there good child care centres nearby or will you take you baby on your daily commute? How will you feel getting up every day and face the travel right now? You are such an inspiration please thinking long and hard about home ownership !
FT I second the above, now is not the time to buy. I understand the desire to buy, we’re looking at our third place this year and like many imnpluse purchases once the thrill wears off and the reality sets in you’ll wonder what you did.
More importantly the world is going through a massive period of de leveraeging which is going to push all equities (property and stock markets) down. You don’t want to purchase at the top of the cycle, we did and it hurt for years. Wait a year or two and see what happens!
I put more on my it on my blog
Ostrich Sam – you’ll be happy to hear I am going to wait. Sometimes we just need to be happy with chosing to wait, I am now I’ve had time to reflect and process!
Thanks for the great advice, blogging about it helped a great deal!
Thanks Rob, I have decided to wait! You are very very right and those are good reasons to wait!
Don’t worry, I’m a firm beliver in everything happens for a reason, and the time will come when the right door will open and you’ll get your dream apartment with a nice sunny balcony.
I understand the feeling the Wife and I want to buy again but are determened to wait.
enjoy the blog keep up the good work.
Good job processing your options and goals. I’m glad you worked through to a decision that gives you peace.
Glad you’ve found a decision which you feel happy with.
I’m happy you have decided to wait and that comes from the ‘impulse girl’…
My advice to you is don’t even think about combining the decision to buy a place with becoming a mother, now or in the future.
Having a baby even with no job to do and a husband to help is REALLY hard work. A baby doesn’t solve anyones problems. I can understand your desire to be a mother, you are a woman after all. But don’t let it sway your financial decisions. Children are beautiful and fulfilling but you’ll have even less sleep than you do now and if you have to go to work, the attachment parenting will be wasted. You may be 8 years older in theory but life throws crazy things at you, I went traveling and came back married and pregnant!!
You just don’t know who is waiting around the corner… don’t jump on that shelf yet!
P.s. I’m not preaching or demeaning your dreams, it’s hard to show a soft tone when you’re typing.
Glad you got to a decision you are happy with.
Some excellent advice above again.
It seemed to me that it got to the end of the week, you got pretty tired and were overthinking your life. You don’t need to make any major decisions TODAY. Have a relaxing weekend. Take a break completely from thinking about the future. Concentrate on today.
You are focused on your dream and it will happen but possibly not at the pace you would like. I have found that, in my life, whenever I try to organise things my plans seem to go pear-shaped but if I step back and relax, everything works out just fine, as it will do for you.
I would be concerned that, as you have a medical condition, then a 2 hr commute (and that’s only one way) would be tiring for you.
As far as the guy and baby scenario are concerned, yes I would love to be your fairy godmother (if only I could wave a wand there are many situations I would have used it for in my own family by now!!!) – all I can say on that score is … be happy within YOURSELF … don’t look for someone else to provide the happiness for what you need WILL come into your life. (I speak from experience again).
In the meantime, research, research, research and save, save, save!
I think as part of your research, it would be worth going into a building society and finding out the costs associated with buying a property (use the flat as an example) and what kind of mortgage you would be able to have (in principle). Find out too the costs for solicitor, survey, etc.
And don’t forget to read the small print!
I say this because I just posted my comments without reading the post again and seeing that you’ve come to a decision!!! LOL
Glad to hear you’ve come to a decision – often indecision is far worse than anything.
Funnily enough, I was passing an estate agent’s window this morning and noticed a 1-bed flat for sale for £79,995 and it made me think of you and the flat you liked. I live in the so-called ‘badlands’ of SE Essex (about 35 mins by train from London) which is a really lovely place to live. If, at some time in the future, you want to move out of London but still be close enough to work there, it is an area I can thoroughly recommend.
I too have heard about the Kent coast being a
cheap(er) place to live but it is also a very long way from London to commute. I know this as my grandfather originally came from the Kent coastal area and I was always amazed just how far away from London it was and yet was still the Home Counties.
I can relate to everything you’re saying. I used to travel a lot and even after “settling down” I find myself changing jobs every two years and apartments yearly. Its draining and I’m also ready for that family and security…or at least a garden of my own
Know how you feel – I’ve been there and done it! (Well, most of it.) After working 60 hr weeks and living in rentals in London for nearly 10 years, we are now proud homeowners in a small cathedral city. It depends how strong your feelings are: by the time we bought, I was so wrapped up in having our own place that the sacrifices were (and ARE) worthwhile.
Even though you have decided to wait, I’ll put my neck out here and say that if you REALLY REALLY want it, I reckon you should go for it. With the following qualifications:
- you have a hefty deposit all saved up. I’m presuming you do, if you think you can get a £650 pm mortgage on a £132K property!
- you also have another £2000 put by for other costs, e.g. surveyor, mortgage valuation, legal etc.
- you get a juicy discount, and don’t plump for an asking price that you can’t afford
- you are prepared to have no friends (for a while, anyway)
Finally,
- you wait another couple of months. At least a couple! You’ll be clearer about your own feelings, and hopefully we will all have a better idea about where the housing market is going, i.e. if the slowdown is (crosses fingers) slowing down.
Reading your post again, I can’t help wondering if we have the same small cathedral city in mind! If we do, it’s a lovely place and you’d have at least one pal kicking around…
I like the quote from Scrubs. Works perfectly!
Sounds like you need a break and a good day at the spa. A time to wind down and relax the brain. Perhaps some hot tea and a good book. A day just to not think about anything.
Sometimes, its tough being a woman! Best of luck finding your solutions. I enjoy reading your blog and seeing where your dreams take you.
Great thread and great advice from your loyal readers
I’m glad you’ve decided to wait too… but with some clear goals, all this might not be too far away!
I think you’ve made the right decision. Impulse buying – especially that huge – can really kick you in the pants.
Stick to your goals. You’ll be so proud of yourself when you accomplish the goals you set out for yourself. Just look at how many people don’t accomplish even 1/2 of the goals you have already.
A home of your own will come when it’s meant to be. In the mean time try to make the home your in more of your own.
Thank you for sharing this decision with us. You have no idea how much reading your goals helps me to stick to my goals/re-focus.
Hi there-you are doing so amazingly well, don’t lose track of what you have achieved as opposed to what you haven’t. You have a great job (although stressful, I know) and you are so focused in everything you do!! Keep up the great work and no impulse buys on the housing front LOL!